


Honey Apple Pie

by Nurmengardx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, F/F, Fluff, M/M, Mute Dean Winchester, cavity inducing sweetness, maybe slow burn, we'll see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-02-04 20:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 71,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12778872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nurmengardx/pseuds/Nurmengardx
Summary: Castiel owns his own bakery, but finds himself at a loss when his partner Charlie moves away.  Maybe if he can impress Sam, he'll bring his brother into the shop.





	1. Chapter One

Chapter One

Castiel was opening alone that morning. The dark grey sky reflected his sombre mood. He jiggled his key in the lock of the front door, frustrated at his own scatterbrain, continuing to forget to replace the locks. He then locked the door behind him. It would be another few hours before he was ready to let people in.

The shop front looked the same as always, but Cas sighed. Now that it was missing Charlie’s brightness, it didn’t feel the same. He had known it was coming, of course. She wasn’t a baker and they both knew it. He didn’t begrudge her moving to Chicago. She would have a better life there ith Dorothy, but he would miss her all the same.

He put the keys behind the counter, washed up, put on his apron and got to work in the kitchen. He always started with pastry first, since it needed time to chill. Puff first, painstakingly layering butter and dough until he was satisfied, then putting it in the fridge. Then he moved on to shortcrust, making the dough rolling it into balls, wrapping it in cling film, and putting it next to the sheets of puff pastry. He decided against filo or choux that day. With no Charlie, he didn’t have the time or the heart.

With the pastry done, he got started on the bread. His bread was always popular. He used evaporated milk in his recipe, which gave it a certain sweetness. Leaving several batches to prove in the kitchen, he finally got to work on the main attraction: cakes.

He made six batches of batter, three vanilla and three chocolate. One of each going into full-sized cakes, the rest separated out into cupcake trays lined with cases. They didn’t take long to cook through, but it was just enough time for Cas to clean up the kitchen a little.

He turned the cakes and cupcakes out onto a cooling rack, spread some flour over the surface and rolled out the bread dough, careful not to push out too much of the air.

Five loaves would do for now, he thought, and he could make more during the day.

He put those in the oven, then prepped the pastry and pie cases. He decided to do apple pies that day. Simple and classic, they would be easy to make more of if necessary, and allowed Cas time to find his flow without Charlie, then he would be ready to take on more complicated recipes.

He chopped apples and mixed them in bowls with sugar, cinnamon, and a pinch of nutmeg, then packed as many of them as he could into the pies. He baked them without their tops until the apples turned soft, then drizzled honey over them before putting the tops on them.

While the bread and pies baked, Cas went back to the cakes and sighed again. They needed to be decorated, but that had always been Charlie’s job. She was a lot more creative than he was, and her designs had always been more appealing. He gave it his best shot, piping simple buttercream swirls on all of them and spraying them with edible glitter, hoping that it would be good enough.

With everything finally cooked and ready, Cas put it all on display on the shop front. He took a deep breath, and opened up the shop.

Tuesday mornings were usually slow. There were three or four regulars, but Cas was usually alone until 11am, when his younger cousin Alfie came in to work the coffee machine. Cas had been sceptical about it at first, but caved to Charlie’s insistence that it would be good for business. Alfie had attempted to show him how to use it on many different occasions, but as much as he tried, Cas just could not work it out. In the end, Cas ended up hiring Alfie for a few hours every day to work it.

This was usually when things picked up. They were no Starbucks, but two dollars a cup was good enough for many people. That was also when Cas would whip up a few batches of fresh cookies

Alfie wasn’t much of a talker, like Cas, but today he was even quieter than usual. Cas supposed he was missing Charlie too.

All in all, it was a pretty gloomy morning. Once the lunch rush was over, Cas let Alfie go home early and put up a sign saying the coffee machine was out of order, but was alone in the little bakery once more.

He was considering whether or not he should make more cupcakes when a tall man with long brown hair walked in, looking around curiously.

Cas knew most of the people that frequented his bakery, but he had never seen this man before, so put on his best customer service voice.

‘Good afternoon, sir, how can I help you?’ he said.

The man looked vaguely bewildered, but said, ‘Hi, yeah, do you do pie in here?’

‘Yes, we do, we have-‘

‘Do you do pie every day?’

‘Yes, we have fresh pie every day,’ Cas said, slightly irritated.

‘Sorry,’ said the man, noticing Cas’s tone, ‘I don’t mean to be rude. I just got done moving house, is all.’

‘It’s no trouble, sir.’

‘My brother and I just moved into town and we’re looking for a new bakery. He loves pie, so what do you got?’

‘Well today, we have a honey apple pie. I’ve only got shortcrust at the moment, but we usually have puff as well.’

‘Yeah, I don’t know what that means. How much?’

‘A dollar a slice, or seven for the whole thing.’

‘Really? Wow, okay, why don’t we just go with a slice for now, then if he likes it, we’ll come back.’

‘That sounds fair to me,’ Cas smiled. He moved along the counter to the display case, pulled out a pie and carefully cut a slice.

‘So, _Cas and Charlie’s_?’ said the man. ‘You would be..?

‘Cas,’ he said, wrapping the slice. ‘Castiel Novak.’

‘Nice to meet you, Cas. I’m Sam Winchester.’

‘Nice to meet you too, Sam. Can I get you anything else?’

Sam eyed up the display. ‘How much are the cookies?’

‘Three for a dollar.’

‘Awesome, I’ll take three then,’ Sam grinned, ‘and I think that’ll be all.’

‘Okay,’ said Cas, bagging the cookies and pie, and ringing him up. ‘That’s two dollars, please.’

Sam handed him a couple of crumpled notes. ‘Thanks, Cas. I hope we see each other again. I have to say, though, you’re already a good contender.’

‘Thanks, Sam. I hope to see you too.’

Sam smiled one more time and left.

The shop quietened down again, and Cas only saw a few more people, until the schools let out. Kids flooded in and bought out the cupcakes and most of the cookies, then left as quickly as they’d come.

Cas closed at 5pm, cleaned up and balanced the cash register. Then he put all of his unsold goods into a bag, which he dropped off at the homeless shelter on his way home.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

The sky was grey again the next morning, as Castiel hurried down to the bakery. He was not used to everything remaining where he’d left it the night before, but he was grateful to get started without having to waste time looking for everything he needed.

He set about gathering up what ingredients were left over from the day before, to see what he could make from it. There were several sheets of puff pastry still, so he decided to bake it all into several batches of Danishes. He then made two pecan pies, along with his usual selection of cakes and breads, and fell into his usual routine until Alfie arrived.

‘You really can’t keep doing this,’ he said, pointing at the ‘Out of Order’ sign on the coffee machine.

Castiel gave him a sheepish look as he pulled the sign off the perfectly functioning machine.

‘Let’s try this again,’ said Alfie. ‘Just do what I say. We’ll start with one black coffee, how about that?’

Cas nodded.

‘Okay, great. First, get a cup,’ Alfie said patiently. ‘Yeah, that’s right, now put it under the nozzle here.’

‘What about all these other nozzles? And these buttons? What-?’

‘No, no, stop. You’ll confuse yourself again. Just put it under this nozzle.’

Cas obeyed.

‘Good. Now press this button right here. No other buttons, just this one.’

Cas did as he was told, and hot, fresh coffee poured out of the machine and into the cup.

‘See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?’ Alfie grinned. ‘Why don’t you be in charge of black coffee today, and if it goes well, we can try the next part, what do you say?’

Cas looked doubtful, but Alfie laughed at him.

‘Let’s just give it a try.’

It went well at first, but Cas got flustered when Alfie tried to show him how to make white coffee, so Alfie ended up making him a new sign that read ‘Black coffee only’ at the end of his shift.

‘Well, it’s better that “Out of Order”, I suppose,’ he said, throwing on his jacket.

‘Thank you,’ Cas said. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

Alfie waved, and the bell above the door tinkled as he left, leaving Cas alone with his thoughts. He occupied himself by making more cupcakes. He decorated them simply again, but added a pinch of sprinkles to each this time.

He had the usual stream of kids once they let out, and was just considering whether or not to make some meringue, when the bell tinkled again. In walked the man he’d met the day before, Sam Winchester.

‘You’re back,’ Cas smiled.

‘Sure am. My brother liked the pie.’

‘I’m glad to hear it. What can I get for you today?’

Sam looked around. ‘I hate to be awkward, but uh, Dean, my brother, he said to ask for one of everything.’

‘That’s no problem at all.’ Cas set about wrapping and bagging one of everything.

‘So if you’re Cas, where’s Charlie?’ Sam asked.

‘Chicago,’ said Cas, wrapping a loaf of bread.

‘Oh, I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be. If you’d met her, you’d know she’s not a small-town girl. I’d rather see her happy than stuck here with me.’

‘I see.’

Cas finished wrapping and bagging all the goods, then brought it all up to the register. ‘Anything else?’ he asked.

‘Do you have any more of those cookies?’ said Sam.

‘Sure.’ Cas added the cookies to the bag.

‘Okay, how much will this run me up, then?’

‘That’ll be twenty dollars.’

Sam dug into his pockets.

‘Where are you from?’ Cas asked him.

‘Us? We’re from Kansas. Town called Lawrence – Aha!’ Sam pulled a crumpled twenty from his back pocket and handed it to Cas. ‘What about you? You from around here?’

‘No, I’m from Milwaukee.’

‘Milwaukee? Really? How’d you-‘

Sam was interrupted by a long, loud blast from a car horn outside.

‘Sorry, that’s Dean, I gotta go. Thanks, Cas.’ Sam dashed away before Cas could say anything else.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully and he closed on time, and packed his bag with the leftovers.

Cas thankfully didn’t live far from the bakery, and avoided having to use transportation for the most part, preferring to walk. The volunteers at the homeless shelter were happy to see him as always and gratefully accepted his bread and cakes, before he continued home to his apartment.

It wasn’t anything fancy, but Cas was proud of it. It was on the ground floor of a small apartment building, with the front door on the outside, and had an open plan kitchen and living room. Three doors lead off the main room to a small bathroom and two bedrooms, one of which was now empty but for the spare bed.

Cas flicked on the lights and put his keys in a bowl on the counter. In one corner stood a fish tank that contained four angelfish and a school of tetras. As Cas sprinkled some food into the tank, his tabby cat Gracie jumped up on the recliner chair next to it and licked her lips.

‘Don’t look at them like that,’ he said to her softly. ‘Come on, you’re next.’

She followed him back into the kitchen part of the room and jumped up on the counter, where he placed a bowl full of cat food. She tucked into it, purring happily. Cas chuckled, petting her while she ate.

His own dinner was a simple soup and he fell asleep in his recliner, only waking a few hours later to take himself to bed.

 

Sam was early to the bakery the next day, arriving at lunchtime when Alfie was helping with the coffee machine, but this time he was not alone. Along with Sam came a man dressed in jeans and a worn leather jacket, his hair carefully styled and hands shoved into his pockets.

‘You must be Dean,’ Cas said with a friendly smile, holding out his hand.

Dean nodded slightly, but ignored Cas’s outstretched hand and looked around the bakery.

Cas faltered slightly, lowering his hand.

‘Don’t mind him,’ said Sam, throwing Dean a nasty look, ‘he’s just cranky cos he didn’t get enough beauty sleep last night.’

Dean glared at him and made an angry hand gesture.

‘Bite me, Dean,’ Sam said. Then Sam spotted Alfie behind the counter. ‘I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Sam, that’s Dean.’

‘I’m Alfie. I help Cas work the coffee machine.’

‘I didn’t know it was a two-person job.’

‘It’s not. Cas doesn’t know how.’

‘Thanks,’ said Cas.

Dean raised an eyebrow.

‘ _Anyway._ Can I get you guys anything?’ Cas said forcefully.

‘Sure, we’ll take some pie and cookies.’

‘Good choice. We’ve got a nice cherry pie today.’

Dean watched him closely as he cut a slice of the pie, unnerving Cas slightly.

‘Awesome. Two dollars, right?’ said Sam, digging in his pockets again.

Cas nodded and rang it up on the register. He waited patiently while Sam tried to find some money. Eventually Dean pulled out his own wallet and handed Cas the two dollars. Cas then handed Sam the bag and he made to leave, but Dean didn’t move.

‘What?’ said Sam.

Dean nodded at Cas.

‘Oh! Right! Sorry, I forgot to tell you. We’ve picked you as our bakery, so we’ll be seeing a lot of each other and, hopefully, Dean in a better mood.’

Dean rolled his eyes and walked out.

‘That’s great,’ Cas smiled. ‘I’ll see you soon, then.’

‘Yeah, sure,’ said Sam, hurrying after Dean. ‘Bye!’

Alfie and Cas watched as they left and stood for a moment in silence.

‘What was that about?’ Alfie said, bewildered.

Cas merely shrugged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to Sammybee2 for the comment.


	3. Chapter Three

Cas did indeed see a lot of Sam and Dean over the next few weeks and began testing new recipes on them.

‘I swear, these get better every time you make them,’ Sam said one day, taking a bite out of the tiny lemon tarts Cas had made that day.

Dean shrugged, leaning on the glass front counter.

‘Don’t lean on that,’ Cas said, nudging Dean away. ‘You’re getting smudges all over it.’

Dean rolled his eyes and leant against the window opposite instead.

Cas whipped out a cloth and began wiping down the glass counter, watching Dean out of the corner of his eye, until Alfie arrived a few minutes later.

‘Oh, hey guys,’ he said, grabbing an apron from under the register. ‘You want some coffee?’

‘Actually, yeah, I don’t think we’ve had any yet,’ said Sam.

‘Coming right up,’ Alfie said, taking down Cas’s ‘Black Coffee Only’ sign. ‘How long have you guys been here, anyway?’

‘Like thirty minutes, I think,’ said Sam.

‘And Cas hasn’t offered you a drink yet?’

‘This is not what I pay you for, Alfie,’ Cas chided, putting away his cloth.

‘No, the sparkling commentary comes for free.’

Sam laughed out loud, and Cas thought he heard a quiet chuckle from Dean, but when he looked up, Dean’s expression hadn’t changed.

Alfie gave them both a small cup of black coffee and they took a sip. Sam screwed up his face and Dean’s nose wrinkled.

‘This is terrible,’ said Sam. ‘What did you do?’

‘Huh, that’s weird,’ said Alfie. ‘Wait, did you forget to change the filter again?’

Cas shrugged.

‘Oh my God, you’re the worst. Sorry guys.’ He took the coffee back from Sam and Dean and set about cleaning out the machine.

Cas then brought out a fresh batch of cupcakes, which he put down on a low shelf next to the glass counter, and pulled out his box of decorating equipment. Dean stepped closer curiously. ‘Charlie put the decorating station out here,’ Cas explained. ‘She said that the lighting is better and she could see the colours properly. I’m not much of a decorator, but the kids like to watch, so I keep it out here…Any requests?’ His breath caught in his throat as he looked up and saw Dean standing inches from him. He found himself frozen in place when he met Dean’s bright eyes, and they both stood, staring at each other.

‘Yeah, do me a smiley face,’ Sam joked, breaking the spell.

Dean retreated back to his spot by the window.

Cas rolled his eyes at Sam, but drew him a little smiley face in icing on a cupcake, and gave it to him.

‘Thanks, man,’ Sam laughed, taking a bite.

Just then, the bell above the door tinkled as a man in an expensive-looking, black leather jacket and pulling along a small suitcase came in.

‘Oh great, you’re here!’ he said to Cas. ‘I’ve been walking around town all morning looking for this place!’

‘ _Gabriel?’_ Cas came out from behind the counter and rushed over to him, arms outstretched.

‘Whoa, whoa,’ said Gabriel, halting Cas in his tracks. ‘You’re covered in flour.’

‘I’m a baker, I’m always covered in flour.’

‘That’s true,’ Gabriel said, a gleam in his eye. ‘I guess it’s all right, then.’

Cas grinned and wrapped his arms around his brother.

‘Watch the hair!’ said Gabriel, but Cas ignored him. ‘I tried to call you, but your phone is off or something.’

Cas pulled away. ‘Oh, um, I put it down somewhere,’ he said, looking around vaguely.

‘Is this it?’ said Alfie, pulling an old Nokia out of his apron.

‘That’s it.’ Cas took it and attempted to turn it on, but it seemed to have run out of battery.

‘How long has it been in here?’ Alfie asked.

‘Uh…’

‘Well, that’ll explain it,’ Gabriel laughed.

Sam cleared his throat, reminding them all that he and Dean were still there.

‘Right, sorry. Gabriel, these are my friends, Sam and Dean Winchester. Guys, this is my brother Gabriel.’

Sam shook Gabriel’s hand, but Dean remained where he was.

‘And who’s the string bean behind the counter?’

Alfie rolled his eyes. ‘Come on, Gabe, you saw me at Thanksgiving last year.’

‘Oh, yeah! You were the pizza delivery boy, right?’

‘ _Gabe,’_ Alfie protested.

‘I’m just messing with you, kid. Come over here and give me a hug.’

‘You know, I think we better go,’ said Sam.

‘Oh, sure. See you guys tomorrow,’ Cas said.

Sam waved them goodbye and he and Dean left the shop.

‘What are you doing here, Gabriel?’ Cas asked, going back behind the counter.

‘I came to see my little brother, obviously,’ Gabriel grinned.

‘Okay, so you flew all the way out here and walked around town for hours, just to see me?’ Cas said doubtfully.

‘That and to get you ridiculously drunk so I can tell you how much I missed you and you won’t remember.’

Cas smiled. ‘As much as I appreciate the sentiment – really – but I’m never drinking again. You remember last time?’

‘Yeah, I sure do.’

‘Well I don’t, and that’s my point.’

‘Come _on,_ so you kissed-‘

Cas silenced him with a glare and a slight shake of the head.

‘You kissed?’ Alfie said, face lighting up. ‘Who’d you kiss?’

‘No one, Alfie,’ Cas sighed.

‘But you said-‘

‘I said _no one.’_

 _‘_ Yeah, I was probably just thinking of someone else,’ Gabriel said hurriedly.

‘But-‘

‘Alfie, you can go home early, if you like. I’ll still pay you for your full shift.’

‘Fine,’ Alfie said, disappointed. He put away his apron and walked out, leaving Cas and Gabriel alone.

‘Do you have to do that?’ Cas sighed.

‘Do what? I didn’t –‘

‘You know what you did.’

Gabriel looked at him uncertainly. ‘Let me take you out,’ he said. ‘You don’t have to drink. I just want to catch up, that’s all.’

Cas hesitated.

‘It’ll be fine, just close the shop early and come out with me.’

‘Okay, okay, I’ll come out, but I’m not closing early. You can wait until 5.’

‘That’s fair.’

Cas continued with his day, dreading the moment the clock struck 5pm, with Gabriel wandering around and messing with the equipment. He did eventually occupy himself by decorating more cupcakes, but it was only a brief reprieve before it was finally closing time.

Cas dragged his feet, delaying as much as he could before he had no choice but to leave. He packed up the leftovers as usual and locked the door behind him.

‘I have to go home first,’ he told Gabriel.

‘Cool, I finally get to see where you live,’ Gabriel said excitedly.

‘It’s nothing special,’ Cas said.

Once back at the apartment, Gabriel looked around appreciatively. ‘Not bad,’ he said. He spotted the recliner chair.

‘That’s mine,’ Cas said. ‘You get the couch.’

‘Whatever. When are we going?’ Before he sat down, Gabriel started going through the cupboards and found a large bottle of whiskey in the cupboard under the sink. ‘Well, well, what do we have here?’ he said, shaking it at Cas.

‘I forgot I had that,’ he said, putting his keys away.

‘Why don’t we have a little appetizer before we go?’ Gabriel pulled a couple of glasses out of a different cupboard.

‘Gabriel-‘

‘Just one, and that’s it, I swear.’

‘All right. Just one.’

At the sound of their voices, Gracie had come trotting out of Cas’s bedroom and jumped up on the counter, waiting for her dinner.

‘Let me feed the cat first,’ said Cas.

‘The cat?’ Gabriel turned around and saw her. ‘She’s adorable. I didn’t think you were really a cat person, though.’

‘She was a gift,’ Cas told him, putting down her bowl. ‘When Charlie decided she was leaving, she didn’t want me to be alone here, and she said the fish don’t count.’

‘Oh yeah, the fish. That’s more like you.’

‘She’s a sweet girl, aren’t you, Gracie?’ He rubbed her back and she gave him a quiet chirp in return.

‘Okay,’ Gabriel said slowly, pouring a small amount of whiskey into each glass and handing one to Cas. ‘Here, drink your drink.’

Cas did as he was told, shuddering as it slid down his throat. ‘Tell me why you’re really here, Gabriel,’ he said, a little hoarsely.

‘What do you mean? I really just wanted to see my little bro… But also Mom and Dad-‘

Cas groaned.

‘They just want to know when you’re coming home.’

Cas looked at him incredulously. ‘I’m not going home. I can’t leave my life here.’

‘What life?’

‘Excuse me?’

‘You have like two friends, one of which is really rude, by the way.’

‘What does it matter how many friends I have?’ Cas shot back. ‘I have my bakery, and as long as I’m in business I’m not going anywhere.’

‘But-‘

‘I’m not having this discussion with you, Gabriel. If Mom and Dad want to talk to me, they can come here and do it themselves.’

Gabriel opened his mouth as if to protest, but then just said, ‘Fair enough.’

Cas sighed, then grabbed the bottle of whiskey and poured himself another drink. Gabriel grinned and did the same.

‘What happened to that Charlie chick anyway?’ Gabriel asked after downing his drink.

‘She moved to Chicago. She got an awesome job as a programmer or something,’ Cas told him, following suit. ‘And she got engaged too.’

‘Good for her. You ever meet the fiancé? Is he hotter than you? Is that why she left?’ Gabriel teased.

‘Actually, I did meet _her_ a few times.’ said Cas, smirking at Gabriel’s shocked expression and pouring another drink.

‘I see. Is she cute?’

‘Gabriel,’ Cas chastised.

‘Right, why am I asking you?’

They both downed a few more drinks.

‘All right, I’m ready to go,’ said Cas.

‘Not in that, you’re not,’ said Gabriel, pointing at Cas’s flour-dusted outfit. He pulled Cas into the bedroom and started going through Cas’s wardrobe. ‘Is this all you have?’ he complained, rifling through Cas’s collection of sweaters, most of which were stained in some way. ‘Aren’t you supposed to be good at fashion, or something?’

‘That’s very stereotypical of you.’

‘Hold on, there’s something back here…’ Gabriel reached in and pulled out an almost immaculate black suit. ‘What about this?’

‘What? No, you’re not putting me in a suit to go to the bar.’

‘So you’d rather wear something like this?’ Gabriel said, showing Cas an especially lumpy grey sweater.

‘That’s actually very comfortable.’

‘I don’t think so.’

‘What do you suggest, then?’

Gabriel examined him. ‘Why don’t you wear the pants and the shirt, and ditch the jacket? That’s less formal at least.’

Cas was not a fan of the idea at all, but conceded to Gabriel’s compromise, otherwise they would be there forever. ‘Fine, fine. Get out while I change.’

‘Really? You know I changed your diaper once.’

‘ _Gabriel.’_

 _‘Okay,_ jeez. Hurry up though.’

Cas, rather self-consciously, threw on his crisp white shirt and black pants, then went out into the living room, where Gabriel was waiting.

‘That’s more like it! Now we can go.’

Cas lead the way to the nearest bar. It was lively, but not to the point that they couldn’t hear each other talk. Gabriel ordered them both a couple of drinks and they chose a couple of seats near the bar.

‘So this Dean guy,’ said Gabriel, taking a long gulp of his beer. ‘Is he always like that?’

‘I think so. I don’t think he’s actually spoken at all since we met.’

‘Is he deaf?’

‘No, he definitely understands what I’m saying.’

‘Maybe he’s doing a vow of silence thing. Like for charity or something.’

Cas looked sceptical.

‘Or maybe he’s mute. I once knew a guy-‘

‘Oh my God,’ Cas gasped. ‘Oh my God.’

‘What?’

‘Oh my God, he’s mute.’ Cas groaned loudly and put his face in his hands.

‘You’re serious?’

‘I can’t believe it. I always thought he was just rude and grouchy, but he’s _mute.’_

‘Holy crap, Cas,’ Gabriel said, starting to laugh. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Yeah, I’m sure. He doesn’t do it in the shop much, but I think I’ve seen him talk to Sam with sign language. I wasn’t really paying attention but… I don’t know, I guess I assumed he was just-‘

‘Being rude?’

‘Yeah.’

Gabriel burst into laughter. ‘How long have you known this guy?’

‘Three weeks.’

Gabriel laughed even harder. ‘And it took you _this_ long to notice? Jeez, Cas, you really are something else. Drink your drink before it gets warm.’

Cas downed the entire bottle of beer in an attempt to drown his embarrassment.

‘I think you’re gonna need something a little stronger than that,’ said Gabriel, still laughing. He ordered them some more whiskey.

The rest of the night passed in a blur of whiskey and laughter until they stumbled their way back to Cas’s apartment, only having enough thought left in them to change into their pyjamas before passing out on the couch in the living room, the last of Cas’s whiskey drained.


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

A loud thumping on the front door woke Cas the next day. He sat up and rubbed his eyes as the room swayed around him. Whoever was banging on the door continued to do so and Cas groaned.

‘All right, I’m coming,’ he mumbled. He stood up and grabbed hold of the coach to stop himself from falling back down again and stumbled towards the front door. He opened it and shielded his eyes from the dazzling sun, squinting at Sam and Dean standing in the doorway.

‘Whoa, you look terrible,’ said Sam, smiling.

‘Sam? Dean? What are you doing here?’

‘We got to the bakery and it was closed. We were kinda worried so we came to see if you were okay. How wasted did you get exactly?’ Sam laughed.

Cas ignored the question and moved aside to let them in. ‘How did you know where I live?’

‘Oh it was on your website.’

Cas closed the door behind them. ‘I have a website?’ He made a mental note to ask Charlie about it.

Sam and Dean, both being quite tall, made his living room look very small.

‘Is he okay?’ Sam asked quietly, gesturing at Gabriel who was lying face down on the couch.

‘He’s fine,’ Cas said dismissively.

Gabriel gave a feeble thumbs up without moving anything else.

‘Does- does anyone want any coffee?’ Cas said weakly, standing in the kitchen, gripping the sink. He squeezed his eyes shut, but it didn’t help at all. In fact, now that he was standing, he felt considerably worse and couldn’t stop his body from shaking.

‘I don’t know, Cas, shouldn’t you sit down or something?’

‘Mmm.’ Cas looked at the coffee machine and groaned. ‘Gabriel, make coffee.’

Gabriel said something that was completely muffled by the couch cushions, but still didn’t move.

Cas leant over the counter, rubbing the back of his head and fighting a wave of nausea. Suddenly, he felt a pair of gentle, but firm hands grip him by the shoulders. Dean had come up behind him and guided him over to his recliner chair. Dean sat him down, then carefully pulled the lever, lifting Cas’s legs. He then disappeared into Cas’s bedroom.

‘Hey, Sam?’ said Cas. ‘How long has he been…?’

Sam chuckled. ‘You finally figured it out, huh? We had a bet on how long it would take.’

Gabriel finally turned over. ‘He’s never been the most observant,’ he said.

‘No one asked you, Gabriel,’ Cas snapped.

‘Anyway, he’s been mute since he was a kid.’

‘Can he talk at all?’

Sam shrugged. ‘Yeah, he can. It’s not a physical problem. The doctors all say it’s a psychological thing. I’ve heard him a few times. He sings when he thinks no one’s around. Don’t tell him I said so, though.’

Then Dean returned, carrying blankets that he raided from Cas’s wardrobe in his arms. He arranged them around his Cas.

‘Hey, you owe me ten bucks,’ said Sam.

Dean smiled and shook his head.

‘Where are my blankets?’ said Gabriel, sitting up slowly.

Dean turned to him and started making a series of complicated hand gestures.

Sam started laughing. ‘Uh, he says that this is your fault, so you don’t get any.’

‘What, I didn’t _make_ him drink anything.’

Dean rolled his eyes and went into the kitchen, then started going through the cupboards.

‘What’s he looking for?’ said Cas, rubbing his face.

‘Uh, alcohol, I think.’

‘Oh, well I don’t have any… Any more.’

‘None at all?’ said Sam, surprised.

Cas shook his head.

‘You’re a pretty straight kind of guy, huh, Cas?’

‘I wouldn’t go that far,’ Gabriel muttered.

‘What?’

‘Nothing,’ he said, catching sight of the expression on Cas’s face.

Dean turned back to them, making more quick hand gestures.

Sam grinned. ‘Um, he’s trying to make you something. You got any ginger?’

‘There’s a spice rack in the cabinet over the oven.’

Dean found Cas’s tea kettle and set it on the stove to boil, while he rifled through Cas’s spices until he found the ginger he was looking for. He picked out a large mug and shook out approximately a teaspoon of it into the mug. He watched the kettle closely, so that he could take it off the moment it boiled without allowing it to make too much noise. He poured it into the mug, along with a couple of spoons of sugar and stirred.

‘Hold on, I know some sign language,’ said Gabriel.

‘You do?’ said Sam.

Dean watched him, interested.

‘Sure, watch.’ Gabriel slowly and hesitantly signed something, to which Sam and Dean both laughed. ‘What? What did I say?’

‘You said “My name is Butt-Face and I like to pretend I’m a fairy”.’

‘Ugh, I knew I shouldn’t have listened to that kid.’

Dean checked on the mug of ginger tea he’d made and, satisfied that it was ready, brought it, along with a glass of water, over to Cas. He set the water down on the small table next to the chair, and placed the warm mug in Cas’s hands. He also dug in his pockets and pulled out a packet of aspirin. Then he turned to Sam and signed something.

‘Dean says to drink it all slowly. If you drink it too quick it’ll make you throw up – yeah, that’s true.’

Cas leant back in his chair, head throbbing. ‘Thanks guys,’ he said, closing his eyes.

‘Don’t thank us, just make us that apple pie tomorrow and we’re even.’

Cas snorted. ‘Sure, just bring me some apples and I’ll do it. I don’t have any and I’m not going anywhere today.’

‘It’s a deal,’ said Sam.

Dean crouched next to Cas’s chair and folded his hands around Cas’s and the mug. He nodded at it pointedly.

‘Oh yeah, drink it while it’s warm. It tastes terrible cold,’ said Sam. ‘Try not to fall asleep till you’ve finished it. Come on, Dean, let’s go. I’m sure he’ll be fine by the morning.’

They let themselves out and Cas took a sip of his ginger tea.

Gabriel spent the next few minutes looking as though he wanted to say something.

‘Spit it out, will you?’ Cas said eventually.

‘So… you’re not out to _anyone_ here?’

Cas sighed deeply. ‘Well seeing as it went so well last time…’

‘But-‘

‘I don’t want to talk about it, Gabriel, and do me a favour, stop trying to out me to every person you see. It’s not funny.’

‘That’s not what I was trying to do.’

Cas took another sip of his tea.

‘Does anyone know?’

‘Charlie.’

‘Cas, you can’t just pretend and hope it’ll go away. You have to-‘

‘I have to what?’

‘Well, you have to tell people. I’ve watched you try this way before and it nearly killed you, remember?’

‘You’re being dramatic-‘

‘Am I?’

‘It’s not your decision to make, Gabriel. It’s not you who has to go through that. And anyway, I told you I don’t want to talk about it.’

‘But that Dean guy-‘

‘Oh my God, Gabriel-‘

‘All right, all right, I’m done.’

‘If I wasn’t so hungover, you’d be dead already.’

‘I know.’

Cas put down the tea and sipped on some water instead. ‘How long are you here for? Where’s your stuff?’

‘I’m just staying a couple days. I wanted to see you and how you’re doing. Really, I did, but I gotta get back to work. And my stuff is in the car I rented, which I left in a parking lot somewhere in town when I couldn’t find your place.’

‘So you’re leaving soon?’

‘My flight’s in the morning.’

‘Oh.’

‘Hey, don’t be sad. Now that I know where you are, next time I can stay for longer, right?’

Cas nodded.

‘Or maybe you could come visit me?’

‘You know I can’t do that.’

Gabriel sighed. ‘Yeah, I know.’ He looked around for something he could use to change the subject. ‘What are your fish called?’

‘Well, the little tetras don’t have names, there’s too many of them for that, but the angelfish do.’ He turned and smiled at them. ‘Anna, Adina, Ingrid and Miriam.’

Gabriel chuckled. ‘Yeah, that sounds like you. Where’s Gracie?’

‘Probably asleep in the spare room. She’ll come out for food in a little while.’

Cas’s eyes began to droop, and he was so comfortable that he could no longer resist sleep, so he allowed it to take him.

When he woke up, he smelled cooking and opened his eyes to see Gabriel frying something on the stove.

‘What are you doing?’ Cas croaked. ‘What time is it?’

Gabriel seemed to have recovered completely, and was now dressed in fresh clothes. ‘It is 5:30pm, you’ve been asleep all day, and I’m making eggs. They’re good for you and you should probably drink some more water.’

Cas sat up and felt miles better than he had that morning, although still a little weak and shaky. ‘Where’d you get eggs? I don’t have any here.’

‘From the store, when I went to get my car. I fed the cat, by the way. I think she’s in your room now.’

‘Oh. Thanks.’ Cas stood up and got himself a fresh glass of water, this time feeling well enough to drink the whole thing. Then he smelled burning and wrinkled his nose. ‘What are you doing to those eggs?’

‘What, you don’t like ‘em crispy?’

Cas gave him a withering look.

‘Yeah, you’re right, I can’t cook. What takeouts are good here?’

Cas shrugged. ‘I haven’t had one since Charlie was here and I don’t know what she got.’

‘You’re gonna make me look it up? Rude.’ He dumped the burnt eggs into the bin and pulled out his phone. ‘All right, what do you like?’

Cas shrugged again.

‘Let’s just get a pizza.’

When it arrived, Cas only managed one slice before he began to feel nauseous again, so let Gabriel eat the majority of it while he had as much water as he could stomach.

That night, Cas slept in his own bed with Gabriel in the spare instead of the couch, and they both woke up early. They dressed quietly and walked down to the bakery. Cas unlocked the door and turned to Gabriel.

‘Do you have to go now?’ he asked.

Gabriel grimaced. ‘Yeah, I do.’

Cas hugged him tightly. ‘I miss you.’

‘I miss you too,’ said Gabriel, squeezing him back. ‘I’ll see you soon, though, I promise.’

‘Make sure you tell Mom that you’re a terrible spy.’

Gabriel grinned. ‘I’ll be sure to let her know. See you later.’ Gabriel walked away, leaving Cas alone outside the shop, feeling very small.


	5. Chapter Five

Cas sighed and went inside. He switched all the lights on and tied on his apron, before going out into the kitchen. He checked in the fridge and found he was running low on ingredients. It would soon be time for a trip to the market.

For now, he prepared enough bread and treats to last the morning, as well as some extra shortcrust pastry for when Sam and Dean brought him some apples. He took his time, slowly thinking over Gabriel’s visit. As much as he was happy to see his brother, he couldn’t help but feel unsettled by it.

He was so preoccupied that he didn’t even notice Sam and Dean waiting outside when he opened.

‘Hey, are you okay?’ Sam asked, coming through the door.

‘What? Oh, yes, I’m fine. You guys are early today.’

‘Yeah, we thought we’d come early so you’d have time to make the pie.’

Dean held up a bag of apples and Cas smiled.

‘Of course, I’ll get right on it.’ He took the bag and examined the apples inside. ‘These aren’t bad. They’ll make a good filling, thanks guys.’ He looked up and caught Dean craning his neck, attempting to look inside the kitchen. ‘Do you want to come and help, Dean?’ he asked.

Dean was surprised, but nodded slowly.

Cas lead him into the kitchen and threw him an apron. ‘Wash your hands,’ he said, going into the fridge to get the pastry. When he came back, Dean was in the apron, drying his hands. Cas smiled at him again. He grabbed a chopping board, a peeler and a knife. ‘Here, why don’t you peel these apples and then cut them up for me.’

Dean did as he was told, and soon had a small pile of peelings beside him. On the other side of the counter, Cas sprinkled out some flour and switched the oven back on to heat up.

‘What about me?’ Sam called from the shop front.

‘There are some cupcakes that need decorating out there, if you want,’ Cas called back.

‘Uh, sure.’

Dean chuckled quietly, still peeling the apples.

Cas cut the ball of pastry in half and began rolling them out, occasionally adding another pinch of flour, until he was satisfied with their thickness. Then he began tucking one of the pieces into a pie case. He poked a few holes in the bottom and put it in the oven. ‘You have to bake it a little first,’ he explained to Dean. ‘That way, the bottom doesn’t get soggy from the apple juice.’

Dean nodded and started slicing up the freshly peeled apples. Cas flitted around him, cleaning up the flour and the peelings. Then grabbed a mixing bowl, sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg and put them down in front of Dean. ‘Apples in there,’ he instructed.

Once in the bowl, Cas added the sugar and spices. ‘Now gently mix them. You have to use your hands, otherwise you’ll bruise the apples too much.’ Cas then watched Dean carefully mix the apples in the bowl. Standing this close to him, Cas could see that Dean was covered in freckles. Like small constellations, they crossed his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. Cas stared at them, completely distracted by them, until Dean tipped up the bowl for him to look at.

‘Oh, yeah, looks good,’ said Cas, clearing his throat. He moved away and went to get the pastry out of the oven, while Dean washed the apple juice and sugar off his hands. Cas tipped the apples into the pastry, then put it back in the oven. ‘Now all we have to do is wait.’

Just then, the bell on the front door rang. ‘I’ll be back,’ said Cas. ‘Keep an eye on the pie.’ He went out to the front, where Sam was bent over the cupcakes, concentrating hard.

‘What can I get for you this morning, Mrs Holden?’ Cas said to the elderly woman that had walked in.

‘Good morning, dear,’ she said in a croaky voice. ‘Do you have any poppy seed muffins today?’

‘For you? Always,’ Cas smiled. ‘What kind of baker would I be if I didn’t have muffins for my favourite customer?’ He picked out the muffin for her and wrapped it in a paper bag, along with a small cookie.

‘Say, who’s the tall, dark and handsome stranger over there?’ she asked, looking at Sam.

Sam looked up and smiled. ‘Good morning, Ma’am. My name’s Sam.’

‘I didn’t know you worked here, Sam. I would drop by more often.’

Sam and Cas chuckled. ‘Sorry, but I don’t work here,’ said Sam. ‘I’m a friend of Cas’s, I’m just giving him a hand this morning.’

‘Oh, how lovely,’ she said. ‘I’ve always thought you should have more friends. You’re such a sweet boy.’ She patted his cheek, smiling widely.

‘You’re too kind, Mrs Holden,’ Cas said. ‘Here’s your muffin, and I’ve added a little extra, just for you.’

‘Wonderful.’ She gave him a dollar. ‘Thank you very much.’

‘It’s always a pleasure, Mrs Holden,’ said Cas, holding the door open. ‘See you again soon.’

‘Bye, dear. Bye, Sam.’ She winked at him as she left.

As soon as she was gone, Cas went back into the kitchen, where Dean was watching the pie closely. Cas checked on it, and decided that the apples had softened enough. He pulled it out and drizzled some honey over it, then carefully covered it with the pie top, trimming the edges.

‘Not long now,’ he said to Dean, putting the pie back in the oven. ‘How’s it going out there, Sam?’ he called.

‘Not bad,’ Sam called back. ‘Can I do this cake?’

‘Which cake?’

‘The chocolate one.’

‘Go ahead.’

Dean smiled and leaned against the counter next to Cas. He started to sign something, but stopped at Cas’s mystified expression. He thought for a minute, then pointed at the oven and tapped his watch.

‘Oh, you want to know how long it’ll take?’

Dean nodded.

‘Usually around thirty minutes. Why, do you guys have plans today?’

Dean nodded, and glanced towards the door, chewing his lip.

‘Hey, Sam, what are you guys up to today?’ Cas called, watching Dean relax slightly.

‘We’ve actually got interviews today,’ said Sam, appearing in the doorway.

‘Oh really? That’s exciting.’

‘Yeah, there’s a law firm over in Corvallis that might take me.’

‘That’s awesome, Sam. What about you, Dean?’

‘Dean’s got one at a mechanic this afternoon,’ said Sam. ‘They already know he can’t talk, so they’re gonna get him to fix some stuff and see what they think.’

‘A mechanic? Are you any good?’ Cas teased.

‘He’s not bad,’ Sam grinned.

‘Not bad, huh?’ Cas nudged Dean playfully, who shrugged. ‘Let’s take a look at those cakes, Sam.’

‘Sure.’

They went back out into the shop and Sam picked up the tray of cupcakes. They had all been decorated with blobs of different coloured frosting, and unique combination of jelly tots, sprinkles, and the occasional chocolate chip.

‘Wow. The kids will love these,’ Cas said, adjusting the jelly tots on a few so that they didn’t fall off.

‘I’ll buy one,’ said Sam, getting his wallet out.

‘No, don’t. You worked so hard on them, you can just have one.’

‘Haha, okay, thanks, Cas.’

Soon, the pie was ready and Cas carefully pulled it out of the oven, while Dean watched.

‘That looks awesome,’ Sam said as he placed it on the counter. ‘Seven dollars, right?’

‘Let’s call it four,’ said Cas. ‘You guys supplied the apples after all.’

Sam grinned. ‘Sounds fair to me.’ Sam gave him the money and Cas wrapped it up for them.

‘Careful, it’s hot,’ he said.

Sam took it from him.

‘Good luck in your interviews today.’

Sam smiled, then Dean turned to face Cas. He put his right hand up to his lips, then moved it forwards and down, towards Cas.

‘That means thank you,’ said Sam.

‘Like this?’ Cas repeated the movement.

‘Yeah, that’s right,’ said Sam.

Dean grinned widely, then they both walked out of the door, bidding Cas goodbye.

 

As soon as the day was over, Cas hurried home. He fed the cat and the fish, then groped under the couch for his laptop. He dusted it off and opened it, switching it on. It automatically opened onto the desktop, but the Cas was stumped. He stared at it for a moment, trying to see if he could remember what to do next, but it refused to come to him, so he put it down and searched around for his phone. He had remembered to bring it home, but he still hadn’t charged it. He waited impatiently while it charged, then switched it on.

Before he could do anything with it, it buzzed in his hand continuously until he had received all of the missed call notifications and texts. Most of them were from Charlie, with several varieties of ‘Call me’, but a few were from Gabriel, and one from a number he didn’t recognise.

At last, it was ready to go and he called Charlie’s number. It rang a few times before she picked up.

‘ _Cas!’_ she exclaimed. ‘ _Where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you.’_

 _‘_ I’ve just been here,’ he said, positioning himself on the couch in front of the laptop.

‘ _Did you leave you phone in the bakery again?’_

 _‘_ Technically it was in my apron, which I left in the bakery.’

‘ _Come on, Cas, you gotta get better at that. I was worried.’_

 _‘_ I know. I’m sorry. How’s Chicago?’

‘ _It’s so awesome here, I love it. There’s so much to do, so I’m literally never bored.’_

Cas smiled sadly.

‘ _What about you? How’s it going?’_

 _‘_ That’s actually why I called. I need your help.’

‘ _What do you mean? What’s wrong?’_

 _‘_ No, no, it’s nothing bad. I need help with my computer.’

‘ _Oh, okay. What are you trying to do?’_

Cas sighed. ‘I’m trying to get to YouTube, but I don’t remember how.’

‘ _Sure, no problem. Do you remember how to get to Chrome?’_

 _‘_ No.’

‘ _Right. Okay. Is your laptop open?’_

 _‘_ Yes.’

‘ _Is it on?’_

 _‘_ Yes, Charlie, it’s on.’

‘ _Hey, don’t take that tone with me. You still can’t even work the coffee machine, so don’t make out like I’m patronising you or something.’_

 _‘_ Charlie…’

‘ _Right, sorry. Chrome is the round icon that has three colours around a blue circle. Click on that.’_

Cas did as he was told. ‘Okay, it opened.’

‘ _Good. See the white bar at the top? Click on it, then type YouTube into it. What do you need on YouTube anyway?’_

 _‘_ Uh,’ Cas focused on the instructions she had given him. ‘There’s a guy-‘

‘ _A guy? Really?’_

 _‘_ Not like that, Charlie. He’s mute but he uses sign language, so I thought I would learn a little.’

‘ _That’s so sweet. You must really like him.’_

 _‘_ I do not! I just want to talk to him without his brother having to translate.’

‘ _His brother? Wow, so really no flirting.’_

 _‘_ You say that like I was ever any good at it to begin with.’

‘ _Yeah, you’re right, you are terrible. Here, hold on. Do you remember how to get to Facebook?’_

 _‘_ It’s already open, why?’

‘ _I’m sending you a link. I looked it up and people are saying this is the best channel for learning ASL.’_

The messenger on Facebook popped up, and Cas clicked on it. There was Charlie’s message, with the link in it.

‘ _Will you please get a smartphone? I want to delete this stupid account but I can’t when it’s the only thing you’ll use.’_

 _‘_ Charlie, you’ve just had to guide me in something as simple as getting to YouTube, what on earth makes you think I would have any use for a smartphone?’

‘ _Maybe you should take a class or something.’_

 _‘_ I’m not taking a class.’

‘ _Whatever. Is it working?’_

 _‘_ Yes, it’s working. Thank you, Charlie.’

‘ _No problem. Listen, I have to go, but call me soon, okay? And you have to tell me all about this guy.’_

Cas rolled his eyes. ‘Whatever you say, Charlie.’

‘ _’Night, Cas.’_

 _‘_ Goodnight, Charlie.’

Cas put down his phone, remembering to plug it back in, and settled down on the couch, ready to begin learning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back guys. Thanks to Castibella_Shipper_of_the_Lord, spaceyshipper and M for the comments. I'm glad you're all enjoying the story :) See you next week.


	6. Chapter Six

It was quiet the next day, and Sam and Dean didn’t turn up, but the day after, at around lunchtime, both of them entered the shop looking like completely different people. Sam in a sharp suit with his hair brushed back, and Dean absolutely covered in grime and oil.

‘You got the jobs!’ Cas smiled.

‘Sure did,’ said Sam, with Dean nodding behind him.

‘You are not coming in my kitchen looking like that,’ Cas said to Dean, pointing at the black oil covering his arms up to the elbow.

Dean held up his hands defensively, grinning.

‘Where’s Alfie?’ Sam asked.

‘Oh, he’s just sick today. He’ll be fine.’

‘Oh, well…’ Sam glanced at the coffee machine.

Cas rolled his eyes. ‘Why don’t you just come back here and get one?’

‘Thanks, Cas,’ Sam said, coming around the counter.

Cas moved along the counter out of his way, and stood opposite Dean. He felt his heart begin to pump faster. ‘Dean, I wanted to show you something,’ he said.

Dean watched him as he, slowly and hesitantly began to sign.

_{Hello, D-e-a-n. How are you?}_

Dean gaped at him, completely flabbergasted.

‘What? Did I do it wrong?’ Cas asked anxiously.

Dean shook his head hurriedly and signed back, slowly so Cas could keep up. { _Hello, C-a-s. I am good. How are you?}_

 _{I am okay, thank you.}_ Cas smiled widely. ‘I’m not very good at it yet, but I can practice more.’

Dean didn’t respond, and Sam came back around the counter with two cups of coffee.

‘Jeez, what did you do to him?’ Sam asked, handing Dean his coffee.

‘Uh…’

Dean made a face and elbowed Sam.

‘Hey, watch the suit!’ said Sam.

Dean shook his head, and signed impatiently at him.

‘All right, I’m doing it. Cas, can we please have a couple of slices of pie?’

‘Sure. It’s blueberry today, is that all right?’

‘Yeah, that’s fine. Sorry to rush you, but we gotta get back to work.’

‘No, it’s fine.’ Cas cut them a slice each of the pie and wrapped it for them.

Sam hurried out of the door once he had paid, but Dean stopped by the exit.

{ _Thank you.}_

Cas smiled. _{No problem.}_

Dean left, the bell tinkling as he did so, then Cas took a deep breath to steady his nerves.

He bumped into them again later that night, when he was shopping for new ingredients.

He was staring at a shelf of fruit, his brain stalling on any sort of decision, with a peach in one hand, when Sam’s voice caught his attention. He looked in the direction it was coming from, but thought his ears must be playing tricks on him when there was no one there. But then Sam came around the corner with Dean, arguing with him about something.

‘No, Dean, we can’t just live on hot pockets and taquitos forever. We have to have real food eventually. Try eating a broccoli or something.’

Dean began signing furiously, but then Sam noticed Cas out of the corner of his eye.

‘Dean – Dean, stop,’ said Sam.

Dean ignored him until he, too, saw Cas, and waved awkwardly.

‘Cas, what are you doing here?’ Sam asked as he and Dean went over to him.

‘Uh, shopping, I guess.’

‘You guess?’

‘Yeah, Charlie or Alfie always used to do this part for me. Obviously, there was always things like butter and flour that I would give them a list of, but other than that, they would just bring me things and I would bake it.’

Dean pointed at the peach in his hand.

‘Yeah, but what can I do with peaches?’

Dean tilted his head slightly.

‘You’re right, I _could_ do peach cobbler, but would people eat it?’

‘I’d eat it,’ Sam said.

Cas shrugged and began piling peaches into his cart.

Dean elbowed Sam while Cas wasn’t looking, and subtly signed something.

‘Cas, are you okay?’ Sam asked at Dean’s prompting. ‘You don’t look so good.’

‘Oh, I’m fine,’ Cas said, brushing off their concern. ‘I cycled here, that’s all. I wasn’t really expecting to talk to anyone either.’

‘You _cycled_ here?’ Sam exclaimed. ‘But it’s like an hour away.’

Cas shrugged. ‘I have to get ingredients somehow.’

‘No, that’s ridiculous.’ He and Dean exchanged a few gestures, then he said, ‘Yeah, next time, we’ll drive you. No arguments.’

Dean elbowed him again.

‘What? You don’t need to so that every time, just chill out. Yeah, I’ll ask – Where’s your bike?’

‘It’s locked up outside, why?’

Sam waited for Dean to finish what he was signing. ‘It won’t fit in the car, Dean – no, I agree with you-‘ Sam got frustrated with him at that point and began signing back.

Cas watched their silent conversation, bewildered, only catching the couple of signs he knew every so often.

‘ _What?_ No, I’m not doing that!’ Sam burst out.

Dean signed something else and Sam groaned loudly. ‘Fine. _Whatever._ Cas, Dean’s driving you and your bike back to town.’

‘No, I can’t let you do that,’ said Cas, backing away slightly.

‘How are you getting all your groceries back? You’re not gonna fit it all on your bike.’

Cas’s shoulders slumped. He hadn’t thought of that. ‘All right, but let me pay you for the gas.’

Dean shook his head forcefully, ending any argument Cas might have had.

Sam sighed. ‘Okay, finish your shopping, and we’ll meet you outside.’

They walked away and Cas continued what he was doing, willing himself to go faster and make quicker decisions, so they wouldn’t be waiting outside for too long. He filled his cart with everything he thought he would need, paid, and exited the building.

Sam and Dean were outside, loading their bags into the trunk of a shiny, black ’67 Chevy Impala.

‘Is this your car?’ Cas asked, admiring it.

‘Yeah, it’s Dean’s,’ said Sam. ‘He loves this thing. He might even marry it one day.’

Cas laughed. ‘Well, it’s beautiful. It would make an excellent bride.’

Dean grinned at him and began loading his bags too.

‘What about my bike?’

‘We’re putting it in the back of the car, and you’re sitting up front,’ Sam said.

‘What about you?’

‘I’ll just call a cab.’

‘But-‘

‘Cas, this isn’t a discussion. I don’t mind – really. Now go get your bike.’

Cas did as he was told and retrieved it for Sam to carefully pack into the back seat of the car.

‘See you at home,’ Sam said as Dean climbed into the driver’s seat.

Cas lowered himself into the passenger side. The leather seats were worn but comfortable and Cas noticed that it was still equipped with a cassette player.

Dean started up the engine and smoothly backed out of the parking spot, then spun the wheel and drove out of the parking lot.

It was almost dark, making it difficult to look at anything out of the windows, so Cas looked through Dean’s tape collection instead. It consisted mostly of classic rock.

‘Not bad,’ Cas commented. ‘Not really to my taste, but not bad.’

Dean held out one of his hands, without taking his eyes off the road, and Cas placed a tape in his hand. He pushed it into the player and smiled as Led Zeppelin came through the speakers.

Cas listened quietly, the music the only sound in the car until they arrived back at the bakery. They pulled Cas’s bike out of the back seat and Dean unloaded his groceries while Cas unlocked the bakery door. He pulled the bike inside and locked the door behind them.

Dean hopped up on the counter in the kitchen and watched Cas put everything away. After a while, he dug in his pockets for a pen and notepad. He wrote something down, then put it next to him and waited for Cas to come back over. He tapped it and Cas bent to read it.

“ _Why are you so sad?”_

He tapped it again, then motioned for Cas to watch him. He signed slowly, so that Cas could see each individual gesture. _{Why are you so sad?}_

Cas copied the gestures before answering, so he could try and learn them. ‘I miss Charlie,’ he admitted. ‘And running the bakery alone is hard work.’

Dean nodded and wrote something else.

“ _Was she your girlfriend?”_

Cas laughed at this, and Dean again showed him the signs, and continued to do so for everything they both said. ‘Let’s just say I’m not really her type.’

Dean raised an eyebrow questioningly.

‘Her type’s name is Dorothy,’ he said, laughing again at Dean’s surprised expression. ‘Charlie did help me buy this place, though,’ Cas explained. ‘The lady that owned it before owed her a favour, so she sold it cheap. I could never have afforded it otherwise.’

“ _Charlie sounds like an interesting person.”_

Cas smiled. ‘She definitely is that.’

They both sat for a minute, nothing else to say, and Cas became uncomfortably aware of how close Dean was. He took a step away and shook his head. ‘Thanks for driving me. Here, I’ll let you out.’

They went out to the front, Cas bringing his bike with him and locking the door once again.

Dean stood with his notebook in hand and tapping with his pen, looking as if he wanted to write something else, but then he slipped it back into his pocket and went back to his car instead.

‘Goodnight, Dean,’ Cas said.

Dean smiled, then showed him the sign. { _Goodnight, C-a-s.}_

_{Goodnight, D-e-a-n.}_

And then he was gone, leaving Cas to cycle home alone in the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! Thanks to Castibella_Shipper_of_the_Lord and Suchafangirl23 for the comments :) see you again next week.


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

Cas continued to learn how to sign, and Sam and Dean visited him as often as they could. Sometimes during their lunch breaks, but mostly at the end of the day, when they would help Cas practice. It was slow going, but eventually, Cas was able to keep up a simple conversation.

Sam became busier at his new work, but Dean ended up reducing his work to part-time, telling Cas that he was meeting his targets at work so quickly, that he was spending a lot of his time doing nothing. He spent more time at the bakery, even teaching Alfie a few simple signs.

In return, Cas decided to offer to teach him to bake. { _Nothing complicated.}_ he signed in response to Dean's doubtful expression. { _If you have time after close.}_

Dean nodded. { _It couldn't hurt.}_

Cas locked the door at close and led Dean into the kitchen. 'We'll start with something simple,' he said, flicking through one of his recipe books. 'How about peanut butter cookies?'

{ _S-a-m would like that,}_ Dean shrugged.

{ _Let's start.}_

Cas rounded up the ingredients, a mixing bowl, a baking tray, a wooden spoon, and some measuring cups and spoons.

 _{You need all of this?}_ Dean asked.

 _{These are…}_ Cas stopped, then tried again.  _{This is…}_ But he didn't know the signs, so he said it out loud. 'This is the basic equipment you'll need for baking,' he explained.

Dean nodded and showed him the signs he had been trying to think of. Then Cas began directing him, watching closely, but not interfering too much, until it came to the eggs and Cas had to show him how to scoop bits of shell out of the mixture. Then he helped Dean roll the batter into little balls and place them on the baking tray, which Dean then put into the oven.

{ _Why are they round?}_ Dean asked.

'They'll flatten and spread as they cook,' Cas told him.

Dean bent down and watched them sink down and spread across the tray. Once they were ready, Cas handed Dean an oven glove and had him take the tray out of the oven. He carefully brought the cookies over to the plate Cas had put out for him and tipped them out.

 _{They look good}_ Cas smiled.  _{You can put that in the sink now}_

Dean took the tray and went to cross over to the sink with it. Cas turned around to clear up the counter, but he heard the tray clang to the ground and a loud, ' _Ouch!'_ Cas spun around and saw Dean wringing his hand.

'Dean!' Cas exclaimed, running over to him. He grabbed Dean's wrist and saw a red mark forming on the palm of his ungloved hand. He yanked Dean over to the sink, causing him to stumble slightly, and ran his hand under the cold water. 'Are you okay?'

Dean nodded and Cas sighed in relief.

'Tell me when it stops hurting,' said Cas.

Dean raised an eyebrow.

'Right, sorry. Just – hold that under there, I'll be right back.' Cas dug in one of the cabinets and pulled out his first aid box. He brought it over to the sink and flicked it open, pulling out a roll of bandages. 'Does it feel better?'

Dean nodded again, so Cas turned off the water and carefully dried Dean's hand with a clean hand towel. Dean winced as the fabric dragged over the burn. Then Cas gently wrapped the bandage around it. He sat Dean down, fastened the bandage, and made him hold his hand above his head. 'How is it feeling? Are you in shock?'

Dean gestured at his hand in the air and shook his head.

Cas squinted. 'I don't understand.'

Dean rolled his eyes and began to fingerspell, one-handed, instead.  _{I a-m f-i-n-e}_

_{Are you sure?}_

_{Yes. Thank you}_

Cas sat beside him and looked up at his hand. 'You can put it down now,' he said.

Dean slowly lowered it.

'What happened?' Cas asked.

Dean gave an embarrassed smile.  _{I dropped it and tried to catch it with my other hand}_

Cas laughed at him. 'Try to be more careful next time. Here, you want to try one of your cookies?' He reached up and grabbed two of them, one each.

Dean took a bite of his and looked pleasantly surprised.

'Congratulations on your first cookie,' Cas smiled.

_{You helped a little}_

Cas chuckled and had a bite of his own.

Dean examined his bandaged hand curiously.

'Are you sure you're okay? Do you need a painkiller? I have ibuprofen.'

Dean laughed quietly.  _{You… too much}_

'What was that?'

Dean got out his notepad again and wrote " _Worry". {You worry too much}_

'You are not the first person to tell me that.'

Dean finished his cookie.  _{What do you do now?}_

'Usually, I pack up all the leftovers, take them over to the homeless shelter, and then I go home.'

_{That's nice of you}_

Dean stared at him, inspecting every inch of his face, and Cas felt himself being drawn in by Dean's intense green eyes. His stomach fluttered, magnetically pulled towards Dean.

Then there was a knock on the door outside and they both jumped. Cas scrambled to his feet, muttering, 'I'll get it,' and desperately hoping his cheeks would stop burning by the time he got to the front door.

It was Sam, peering through the glass. 'Is Dean here?' he asked as Cas opened the door.

'Yeah, he didn't tell you?'

'No, he didn't.' Sam glared at Dean as he came out of the kitchen, holding out the plate of cookies in an attempt to appease Sam. 'He was supposed to pick me up from work.'

Dean shrugged, and proffered the plate.

'We made cookies,' said Cas.

'Oh, well that makes it better.' Sam took a cookie and tried it, and his expression immediately softened. 'Okay, maybe it does a bit, but still, not cool, Dean. Text me next time, okay?'

Dean nodded and put the plate down.  _{Sorry. I forgot}_ he signed.

_{It's fine. I just did more work while I waited for the…}_

'Sorry, Sam.'

'It's not your fault, you didn't know.' Sam took another cookie. 'Hey, you're closed on Sundays, right?'

'Yeah, why?'

'Why don't you come out with us on Saturday night? It's nothing special, we're just gonna go out to the bar for a few drinks. We're sort of celebrating.'

Cas looked doubtful.

'You won't have to drink anything,' Sam said hurriedly. 'I'll even buy you a soda.'

'I don't know, Sam…'

'Come on, it'll be fun, right, Dean?'

Dean nodded enthusiastically.

'I- all right, I'll come.'

'Awesome!' Sam said. 'We'll pick you up around seven, if that's okay with you?'

'Sure.'

Sam grinned, then caught sight of the bandage on Dean's hand. 'Whoa, what happened?'

_{I burned it}_

'You burned it making cookies? Good one.'

_{Shut up, S-a-m}_

'Whatever, let's go. See you later, Cas.' He picked up another cookie and he and Dean left.

Cas quickly fell back into his closing routine, and went home. Gracie was not impressed with his lateness, and gulped down her food.

'You act like I never feed you,' he said to her, chuckling at her.

He fell asleep in his chair again that night, with YouTube playing until the laptop ran out of battery.

By the time Saturday came around, Cas's nerves were getting the better of him, and he dropped several cakes on the floor throughout the day. He was thankful when the time to close came, and he could stop embarrassing himself in front of customers.

He was examining his wardrobe about an hour later, and sighed. Gabriel was right, he really did have nothing to wear. He ended up choosing his least stained clothes, a blue sweater-vest, which he threw on over his shirt. He quickly fed the fish, and waited for Sam to knock on the door.

'Ready to go?' he asked.

Dean looked him up and down and raised an eyebrow.

Cas shrugged. 'I should probably go shopping at some point.'

'Yeah, no kidding,' said Sam. 'Come on, let's go.'

They went to the same bar that Cas and Gabriel had gone to before, and Sam bought Cas a soda, fulfilling his promise. He and Dean bought themselves a bottle of beer each and they all sat down.

'So, what are we celebrating?' Cas asked, watching Dean gulp down half of his bottle.

'We finished buying furniture for our apartment, so I guess we're celebrating finally being settled.'

Dean gave a thumbs up, finished his drink, and got another one, then another one, until he'd finished three bottles before Sam and Cas could finish their first.

'Take it easy, Dean,' Sam said as he came back with his fourth.

 _{I thought we were celebrating}_ Dean signed, dropping back down into his seat.

 _{We are, but not that much}_ Sam laughed at his expression and sipped on his own beer.

'Why'd do you guys move all the way out here, anyway?' Cas asked.

Sam shrugged and Dean swallowed down more beer. 'Mostly just for a fresh start,' he said. 'Our dad… well, our dad passed away and we couldn't hang around in Sioux Falls anymore. Nothing special about this place, just a random pick on the map.'

'I'm sorry for your loss,' said Cas.

'We miss him, but what can you do? What about you? How come you're so far away from home?'

Cas bit his lip, his nerves suddenly making a reappearance. He took a sip of his soda, stalling for time. 'Not much choice,' he said slowly. 'I had nowhere else to go, and it was mostly Charlie's decision.'

'What do you mean, you had nowhere else?' Sam asked.

Cas shook his head.

 _{He doesn't have to say if he doesn't want to}_ Dean signed.

'No, it's fine,' said Cas. 'I didn't have anywhere to go because my parents threw me out of our house.'

'What? Why would they do that?'

Cas looked away. He couldn't bring himself to answer, but then he remembered what Gabriel had said. It was true, he had tried hiding himself before. Maybe it was time to take a chance and open up. He took a deep breath and, without looking at either of them, said, 'Because I'm gay.'

Dean choked on his beer and Sam exclaimed, 'What? That's terrible!'

Dean signed something, but the alcohol had made him sloppy. That, in addition to the speed in which he was signing, made it difficult for Cas to keep up. 'Dean- Dean slow down,' he said.

 _{I can't believe they would do that to you}_ he signed, deliberately slowing himself down as much as possible.

 _{You would if you'd met them}_ Cas signed sadly.

'Cas, I'm so sorry. They sound like awful people,' Sam said sympathetically. 'When was the last time you spoke to them?'

'Not since I left, so about seven years ago now.'

'Jeez, Cas, I don't know what to say.'

Cas shrugged. 'I'm here now, so it's not all bad, right?'

'No, I guess not,' Sam smiled at him.

Cas smiled back, relaxing now that they hadn't reacted badly.

Dean drained his drink and got another one, this time, bringing one back for Cas.

'Dean-'

_{Just one, I promise}_

_{Just one}_ Cas signed back.

Dean took a sip of his beer, beginning to slow down, although still fairly tipsy.  _{What kind of a name is C-a-s-t-i-e-l, anyway?}_

Cas laughed. 'My parents are Christian and really into angels. Castiel is the angel of Thursday, and my mom thought it fit since I was born on a Thursday.'

'Wow, that's really lame,' Sam sniggered. 'No offense.'

'None taken. It is really lame,' Cas laughed.

Dean sat, chuckling to himself and signing  _{Angel}_ several times.

They sat there for a little while longer, Cas and Sam talking idly about the bakery, and Sam's work, and Dean continued drinking until he was suitably drunk. He slammed a hand down on the table, interrupting their conversation.

 _{I have a question}_ he signed, Cas barely recognising the gestures.

 _{What question?}_ Cas asked.

_{Are you…}_

'I don't know that one.'

Dean tutted and turned to Sam.

Sam watched, then said, 'I am not asking him that!'

'Ask me what?'

'Nothing, Cas, Dean's just being an ass,' Sam said, glaring at Dean.

Dean didn't seem to care at all, and instead signed,  _{Fine, I'll ask him}_

'What-?'

Dean pulled his notebook out, clicked his pen and wrote something. He passed it to Cas and looked smugly at Sam.

Cas looked down at the paper and turned bright red.  _"Are you a virgin?"_

'Wow, okay,' he said.

'And on that note, I have to go to the bathroom,' said Sam, getting up.

Dean laughed loudly at both of their expressions.  _{Well, are you?}_ he asked once Sam had gone.

Cas smiled and gave in.  _{No, I'm not}_

_{Really?}_

_{You don't need to look so surprised, D-e-a-n}_

_{How many?}_

_{Three}_

Dean's eyebrows shot up.  _{That's more than I thought}_

Cas rolled his eyes.  _{What about you? Since we're going there, what's your number?}_

_{One}_

'One?' Cas exclaimed out loud.

 _{No need to look so surprised, C-a-s}_ Dean grinned.

'That's not – I mean – only one?' Cas stammered.

Dean shrugged.  _{It's hard to get to know someone when you can't talk to each other}_

_{Of course}_

Just then, Sam returned and Dean signed,  _{I think I'm done now}_

'Yeah? Cas, you ready to go home?' said Sam.

Cas drained his drink and nodded.

'All right then, let's go.'

Cas got up, but when Dean did the same, he stumbled sideway into Cas.

'Here,' said Cas, looping his arm through Dean's, 'I'll help you.'

Cas guided Dean outside, following Sam to the car. 'I had a good time tonight,' he said to them. 'We should do this again.'

'Yeah, it was fun,' said Sam, unlocking the car. 'Dean will probably not drink as much next time.'

Dean nodded blearily and clambered into the back seat. He turned and signed  _{Goodnight, C-a-s}_ before laying down on the seats.

Sam snorted. 'Do you need a ride home?'

'No, it's not far to walk. You should probably just get him home. Goodnight, Sam.'

''Night, Cas.' Sam drove them both away and Cas walked home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thanks to whyamidoingthisitswrongbutiloveit, Suchafangirl23, Castibella_Shipper_of_the_Lord, spaceyshipper and odett2011 for the comments, you guys are awesome. See you next week!


	8. Chapter Eight

Dean began staying at the bakery after close more and more often, until Sam started getting rides home with one of his colleagues, rather than waiting for Dean to pick him up.

Cas got more fluent in ASL with Dean’s help, and Dean avoided burning himself again while Cas taught him to bake.

On a rare lunchtime that all of them, including Sam, were in the bakery, Cas was showing Dean how to pipe buttercream frosting, when the bell rang and Alfie said, ‘Gabriel, you’re back!’ and then he gasped slightly and said, ‘Aunt Emily?’

Cas’s head snapped up and he exclaimed, ‘ _What?_ ’ He accidentally squeezed the piping bag too hard and it burst, splattering frosting all over him and Dean. ‘Sorry, Dean,’ he said, handing him a cloth.

He then looked over at the door, and there she was, casting her judgmental gaze over the shop.

‘It’s nice to see you, Samandriel,’ she said.

Alfie flinched and Cas immediately bristled.

‘You know he doesn’t like to be called that,’ Cas said through gritted teeth.

‘I’ll call him by the name his parents gave him,’ she said snippily.

They glared at each other for a moment, then Cas said, ‘Alfie, you can go.’

‘Thank you,’ Alfie whispered, whipping off his apron and flitting out of the door.

Sam and Dean remained where they were, frozen in place by the icy silence that had suddenly filled the bakery.

Cas switched his gaze to Gabriel. ‘Why would you bring her here?’ he all but spat.

‘You said if she had something to say, she should come here and say it herself, so here she is.’

‘I didn’t mean it!’ Cas spluttered. ‘I didn’t think she’d actually come either.’

‘Come on, Cas, don’t be like that,’ Gabriel said reproachfully. ‘She’s our mom.’

‘She’s not a mother, she’s a reptile,’ Cas hissed.

‘Well now you’re being dramatic.’

‘Gabriel, for the love of-‘

‘I will not be spoken about as if I’m not here,’ Emily interrupted. ‘Castiel-‘

‘Don’t speak to me,’ he growled.

‘Cas-‘

‘Get out of my bakery.’

Neither of them moved.

‘I said get out. Now!’ He threw his own cloth on the ground in fury.

Gabriel sighed and put his arm around Emily’s shoulder. ‘Come on, Mom, let’s go.’

‘I will not!’

‘I’m not giving you a choice here.’

‘Fine.’

They both walked out again, leaving Cas standing in the middle of the room, shaking.

After a moment, Sam and Dean slowly approached him.

‘Cas?’ Sam said quietly. ‘Are you okay?’

Cas sniffed slightly. ‘I’m sorry, guys, I have to close a little early today.’

‘Yeah, yeah, of course. Come on, Dean.’

Dean lingered a little at the door, casting a concerned look over Cas, but Cas refused to meet his eye, so he left with Sam.

Cas locked the door behind them and sunk down behind the counter. He didn’t even attempt to identify any of the swirling emotions washing over him, he just curled into a ball and sobbed. Eventually, they subsided enough for him to force himself up and leave the bakery. If he was going to break down, he might as well be at home.

One foot after the other, he walked himself home, but when he turned the corner onto his block, he froze. Three people were standing at his door. Dean was leaning on the door itself, arms folded stubbornly, while Gabriel and Emily stood in front of him. They appeared to be trying to argue with him, and Gabriel was holding a key in his hand.

He steeled himself, then approached them. Dean saw him first and unfolded his arms, his expression softening.

 _{Are you okay?}_ Dean signed.

_{I will be.}_

_{I saw them come this way, so I followed them}_ Dean explained. _{I found them looking for your spare key. I didn’t think you would want them in here}_

 _{You did the right thing}_ Cas reassured him.

Cas then addressed Gabriel and Emily. ‘When I told you to get out of my bakery, I didn’t mean get out and then break into my apartment. What is the matter with you?’

‘Tell your guard dog to get out of the way, so we can go inside and talk,’ Emily said.

Gabriel groaned.

‘No, no, you don’t get to talk about him like that,’ Cas said. ‘He means more to me than you ever have or ever will, so back off.’

‘All right, everyone needs to calm down,’ Gabriel said. He walked closer to Cas. ‘Cas, please. Just listen to what she has to say.’

Cas sighed and rubbed his eyes. ‘I can’t believe you did this, Gabriel.’

‘You know I wouldn’t unless I thought it was worth it.’

‘Yes, but you and I have very different definitions of “worth it” when it comes to her.’

‘Please hear us out, just this once.’

Cas bit his lip and looked from Gabriel, to Emily, to Dean.

 _{You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do}_ Dean signed, still standing at the door.

Cas ran his hands through his hair. ‘Fine,’ he said. ‘Fine, I’ll hear it if it makes you leave faster.’

Dean hesitantly stepped away from the door, but took the key from Gabriel. _{Are you sure about this?}_ He asked, then gave Cas the key.

 _{Not really}_ Cas shrugged.

_{I can come in with you}_

_{No, I’ll be fine. You should go home}_

Dean grabbed his notebook and wrote on it. _{Here’s my number. Text me if you need anything}_

 _{Thank you}_ Cas gave a weak smile as Dean squeezed his shoulder.

Dean shot Emily a nasty look over his shoulder, before grudgingly walking away.

‘Oh, Dean, wait,’ Cas said, slightly frazzled.

Dean turned back.

_{I forgot to pack up the leftovers, can you?}_

_{Of course I can}_

Cas gave him the bakery key. _{Just leave it where the spare goes when you’re finished}_

_{Sure. See you later}_

Dean disappeared around the corner and Cas opened his front door, stalling in the doorway for a moment before allowing Gabriel and Emily in. He closed the door once they were inside.

‘Sit on the couch,’ he said without looking at either of them.

Gracie came trotting out of the spare room, yowling loudly, clearly upset at their usual routine being disturbed. She jumped up on the counter, looking at Cas accusingly.

‘I know,’ he murmured to her, patting her on the head. ‘I’m sorry I disturbed you. Do you want a treat?’

She purred at his touch and he grabbed a can of sardines from the fridge.

‘Just this once, okay?’

She licked her lips and scarfed down the sardine he held out for her.

‘Will you get that thing out of here, so we can have a conversation?’ Emily said scathingly.

Still not looking at her, Cas said, ‘She lives here. You don’t.’

‘Mom, just chill out. Let him take his time,’ Gabriel chastised quietly.

Emily just tutted.

‘You’re really not helping yourself,’ Gabriel grumbled.

Cas dawdled a little longer with Gracie, but finally dragged himself over to his chair and sat down, cross-legged and stiff, with his hands clasped tightly in his lap.

Perhaps sensing his discomfort, Gracie, instead of going back to sleep in the spare room, sat next to Cas on the arm of his chair. She too glared at Emily.

‘All right, tell me what you want,’ Cas said finally.

Emily drew herself up. ‘I want a relationship with you. I’m tired of having to hear about you from third-hand sources.’

Cas laughed harshly. ‘Is this a joke?’

‘It absolutely is not a joke,’ Emily said in an offended tone.

‘Don’t tell me you believe this garbage?’ Cas said to Gabriel.

‘Excuse me, this is not garbage,’ Emily insisted. ‘You’re my son-‘

‘Funny, I seem to remember you saying the opposite the last time I saw you.’

‘And that was a mistake,’ said Emily.

Cas’s mouth clamped shut in surprise.

Gabriel smirked at his expression.

‘It was a mistake,’ Emily repeated. ‘I know that now, and I’ve come here to fix it.’

Cas groaned and put his head in his hands. ‘This isn’t something you just _fix,’_ he said. ‘You have no idea what I went through after you _threw me out._ None at all.’

‘So tell me.’

‘What makes you think you can come in here and I’ll just tell you my business?’ Cas said. ‘You gave up your look into my life when you – and I’ll repeat – kicked me out of our house.’

‘Come now, Castiel, I’ve admitted my mistakes, now it’s time for you to admit yours.’

‘My – my what?’ Cas said, flabbergasted. ‘ _My_ mistakes? How dare you?’

‘Cas, wait-‘ Gabriel began.

‘Wait for what? You know what, don’t even bother. You’ve said enough, which still didn’t include an apology, by the way. I’m done with this.’ He stood up and opened the front door, ushering them both out.

‘Cas, please.’

‘Goodbye, Gabriel,’ Cas said firmly. ‘If you want to visit again, don’t.’ He closed the door on them and locked it. He waited next to it until he heard them walking away, their muffled argument drifting under the door.

Gracie wound herself around Cas’s legs, but he was so numb he didn’t realise she was there. He paced around the kitchen for a while, attempting to organise his thoughts. Eventually, he decided to go for a walk, leaving Gracie to sleep.

Once she realised that Cas was leaving, she jumped up on the couch and rolled around where Emily had been sitting, as if she were trying to rid the couch of her scent. That was how Cas preferred to think of it, anyway.

Cas walked aimlessly around town for hours, but no matter what he did, he couldn’t see to clear his head. All he kept thinking of was the day he was thrown out, playing it over and over again in his mind. So much so, that he didn’t notice when it got dark until he tripped on a curb. He grazed his hand on the pavement, looking around dazedly and noticed the street lights were on. He stood up, holding his wrist, and decided to make his way home.

It was late, and Gracie was once again annoyed by how long it had taken to get her dinner. He fed her and the fish, and got ready for bed. He left his bedroom door open in case Gracie wanted a cuddle and tried to sleep.

Hours passed as Cas tossed and turned, unable to calm his thoughts or get comfortable. He dozed off just as dawn broke, but woke up less than an hour later, when his alarm clock went off.

He groaned and forced himself up, eyes gritty, shoulders tense and a headache forming, but he got himself dressed anyway and dragged himself to the bakery.

To his surprise, Sam and Dean were outside waiting for him.

‘Cas!’ Sam called. He wasn’t wearing his usual smart suit, and instead had on a loose long-sleeve shirt and jeans.

‘What are you guys doing here?’ Cas asked, fiddling with his keys.

Dean held up a bag of apples.

‘You want to make a pie?’ he said, surprised, jiggling the key in the lock.

‘Yeah, we thought we’d hang out for a while today, if you don’t mind,’ said Sam. ‘It’s my day off.’

‘It’s your day off and you want to spend it in the bakery?’ Cas said sceptically, still trying to unlock the door. ‘If you really want to… _Damn it.’_ Cas yanked the keys out of the door and threw them onto the ground in frustration.

Dean bent and picked them up.

‘Cas, it’s okay,’ Sam said. ‘Maybe you don’t have to open today.’

‘No, no, I’ll be fine,’ Cas sighed, taking the keys back. ‘I can’t do nothing, so I may as well open.’

He was finally able to unlock the door, and went straight into the kitchen. Dean followed, while Sam began organising everything out in the front.

Cas banged around the kitchen, grabbing everything and making a lot of noise to distract himself.

Dean began on his pie, and watching Cas out of the corner of his eye.

‘Smells good back there,’ Sam said a while later, as the smell of baking bread filled the building.

Cas was still flitting around the kitchen, mixing things and baking them at breakneck speed, but dropping them just as quickly. Around and around he went, getting more and more worked up until Dean grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing him to stop.

 _{You have to slow down}_ he insisted. _[You’ll hurt yourself}_

 _{I can’t. I can’t}_ Cas tried to turn away, but Dean grabbed him again.

Instead of saying anything, Dean pulled him into a tight hug.

Cas stiffened in surprise for a moment, but then wrapped his arms around Dean in return. He buried his face in Dean’s shoulder, but couldn’t stop his tears from soaking Dean’s shirt.

‘I can’t – I can’t,’ he said, his voice muffled.

Dean made quiet shushing sounds in his ear and just allowed him to cry. After a while, Sam poked his head around the door and signed, _{Everything okay?}_

Dean nodded slightly and continued to hold Cas, gently rubbing his back.

Soon, Cas pulled away and Dean handed him a tissue. ‘I’m sorry,’ he mumbled.

Dean shook his head. _{I understand}_

‘Cas, are you sure you want to open?’ Sam called from the other room.

Cas wiped his face, sniffling slightly. ‘Yes,’ he called back.

‘In that case, I’ll hold down the fort out here and you two can stay back there, okay?’

‘You don’t have to do that.’

‘Nah, it’s fine. I get to finally use all that retail training.’

Cas chuckled weakly. ‘Thanks, Sam.’

Cas and Dean worked quietly in the kitchen. Cas put Dean in charge of kneading dough and he finally made some progress without dropping anything.

They managed to open on time and things were running smoothly until a few customers came in and Sam called back, ‘Cas, the register’s jammed.’

Cas sighed and went up to the register. He felt up the side of it for the right spot and smacked it.

It popped open and Sam raised an eyebrow. ‘I think you need a new one of these,’ he said.

Cas shrugged and made to go back into the kitchen.

‘Wait, you got some mail,’ Sam said, handing Cas an envelope.

He took it out into the kitchen and smiled as he read the leaflet inside.

 _{What is it?}_ Dean asked.

 _{It’s a market I go to every year}_ he explained. _{I’ll have to close early on Wednesday. It’s a few hours away}_

_{Do you need a ride?}_

_{If you don’t mind}_

_{Sure}_ Dean grinned and carried on with his bread.

Alfie arrived at lunchtime and sidled into the kitchen.

‘Are you okay?’ Cas asked as soon as he saw him.

‘Me? I’m fine. Are you?’

Cas shrugged. ‘I’ve been better, but I’ll be okay. Thanks for coming in today.’

They worked through the day until they were all stood outside, waiting for Cas to lock the door.

‘Thanks for today, guys,’ he said quietly.

‘It’s no problem,’ said Sam. ‘It was fun, actually.’

Cas smiled at him.

 _{I’d make a pretty good baker}_ Dean added.

‘I’d better get home before the cat gets mad at me.’

‘Yeah, of course. Take care of yourself, Cas.’

_{See you Wednesday}_

_{Goodnight}_

Cas trudged home and fed Gracie, but once again found himself unable to get to sleep. This time, instead of wasting his time trying to force himself to sleep, he used his time more productively and wrote lists and lists of recipe ideas and ingredients needed to try them. He filled several notepads until Gracie woke up, demanding her breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Thanks to Cerdic519, spaceyshipper, Andrew, Castibella_Shipper_of_the_Lord, whyamidoingthisitswrongbutiloveit and V for the comments :) Hope you enjoy the chapter and I'll see you next week.


	9. Chapter Nine

By the time Wednesday rolled around, Cas was running on two hours of sleep in total. His limbs felt like lead, but he trudged on anyway, making it through the morning with several burns and a small cut on his thumb. He closed just after lunchtime and Dean was waiting for him outside, leaning against the side of his car. Cas smiled and packed his bags and a couple of coolers in the back seat, then climbed into the passenger side.

Cas thought that the dashboard looked like it had been polished, and everything was slightly less dusty than the last time he’d been inside it. He sunk into the comfortable seat and sighed.

Dean got into the driver’s seat. _{Buckle up}_ he signed to Cas before putting the key into the ignition. The car purred and Dean smiled, pulling out of the space and out of town.

Cas stared out of the window for the first hour or so of their journey, only glancing over at Dean to watch him expertly manoeuvre the car. He seemed to be in his element, his fingers lightly flicking the indicators when needed, and firmly gripping the wheel when not.

Dean caught him staring out of the corner of his eye, and raised an eyebrow questioningly. Cas blushed slightly and looked away.

‘So, how do you and Sam talk while you’re driving?’ Cas asked.

Dean glanced at him and used one hand. _{F-N-G-S-P-L}_

‘What?’

Dean repeated the letters, but slower.

‘Oh! Like a shorthand version of fingerspelling?’

Dean grinned and nodded. _{S-M T-L-K, I S-P-L}_

‘”Sam talks, I spell”. Wow, that’s really smart.’

Dean just chuckled, but didn’t sign anything else. Cas again sunk back into his own thoughts until they arrived at the market.

Rows upon rows of market stalls and food trucks had been set up in a large field, with all their owners’ vehicles parked in the next field. A few people dressed in flourescent orange vests were directing the visitors into another part of the field to park.

Cas made for the fruit stalls first, with Dean trailing behind him. He became quite interested in a stall that was offering several kinds of homemade jelly in jars, as well as their selection of fresh fruit. He examined them closely.

‘How long do these keep for?’ he asked, holding a jar of strawberry jelly.

‘Well unopened they can last for months,’ the vendor said. ‘But I probably wouldn’t give it more than a couple of weeks once you open it.’

‘Hmm, could be good for some jelly rolls,’ he muttered. ‘I’ll take a few of these strawberry ones and that blackberry one looks interesting.’

‘Awesome.’ The vendor wrapped them in a paper bag, which Cas then placed in one of his own bags.

 _{I thought A-l-f-i-e or C-h-a-r-l-i-e did this for you}_ Dean signed.

‘Looking for interesting ingredients is a lot more fun than grocery shopping,’ Cas explained, picking up a shiny red apple at another stall. ‘Besides, I have to look for ideas at some point.’ He took some of the apples, then moved on towards the honey stand.

‘Why don’t you pick one, Dean?’ said Cas, adjusting his bags.

Dean bent down and looked at all the jars of honey, eventually choosing one that said ‘Orange Blossom’ on it.

‘That’s a good choice,’ said Cas, putting it in his bag. ‘Do you want something to eat? There are some food trucks over that way.’

Dean nodded.

For a while, they wandered around eating a couple of hot dogs until they found themselves among a row of refrigerated vans. They all seemed to be selling some sort of meat or dairy.

‘What do you think, Dean, should I start expanding my savouries?’ Cas asked, looking at some deli meats.

Dean just shrugged.

‘Yeah, you’re right, I’m not equipped to store meat… Maybe some cheese, though?’ he said, moving along to look at a dairy stand.

It had several different boards all covered in neatly arranged sample cubes. Cas tried a cube of cheddar. ‘Nice,’ he said to the vendor, but then was distracted by Dean tugging on his sleeve. ‘What’s the matter?’

Dean picked up a different cube of cheese and made Cas try it.

‘Wow,’ said Cas, eyebrows raised in surprise. ‘That’s a really nice brie. You think I can use this?’

Dean nodded enthusiastically.

‘Yes…’ Cas said slowly. ‘I could go back to that guy with the cranberries and make some tarts…’

 _{I could really go for some pizza}_ Dean signed, looking at a small sample of mozzarella

Cas looked at it too. ‘I could make pizza… Yeah, I’ll take a wheel of the brie and a few mozzarella balls,’ he said to the vendor, ‘then we’ll get some cranberries and tomatoes, and maybe stop for some fresh herbs on our way back to the car.’

 _{Sounds good to me}_ Dean signed, taking a couple of the bags from Cas.

They made their way back around the market and to the car, where Cas spent a few minutes packing the food into the coolers before getting back into the passenger side and waiting for Dean.

The sun was beginning to set as Dean drove them back towards town. Cas was more relaxed than he had been in days, and his eyelids grew heavy. The motion of the car and Dean’s music playing quietly relaxed him further until he was fast asleep.

 

The next morning, Cas awoke to the sound of his alarm, in his own bed. Gracie was curled in the crook of his knee and he reached down to scratch the top of her head. ‘What are you doing in here?’ he mumbled to her.

She purred quietly, then rolled herself over to let Cas get up.

He walked into the living room and realised he was wearing the same clothes he had been wearing the day before, minus his socks.

He then noticed that a bowl and a fork were sitting on his drying rack, next to the sink. He went over to it and picked up, frowning. He hadn’t made anything the night before. Then he heard a noise behind him and whirled around, pointing the fork.

It was Dean, standing in the doorway of the spare room in a baggy white t-shirt and his boxer shorts. He held up his hands defensively.

‘Dean?’ Cas said incredulously. ‘What are you doing in my apartment?’

Dean nodded at the fork and motioned for Cas to put it down.

‘Right, sorry.’ Cas put the fork away in the cutlery drawer.

Gracie came out of the bedroom and rubbed up against Dean’s legs, then jumped up on the counter, waiting expectantly for her breakfast.

 _{What, were you going to fork me to death?}_ Dean signed, laughing slightly at his own joke.

 _{Maybe another time}_ Cas joked back. _{Why are you here?}_

_{You fell asleep in my car. I drove you around for a while, but it got late. I was tired when we got here and didn’t think I should drive anymore. I ate some of your noodles. I hope you don’t mind}_

_{Of course I don’t mind}_

Dean went up to the counter, ruffling his hair. It was unstyled and looked soft to the touch. Cas kept his hands at his sides. _{You sleep like a log}_ Dean smiled. _{I walked you in here and you didn’t even open your eyes]_

Cas blushed sightly. _{Where is all the food we picked up?]_

_{I put it away at the bakery before we came back here}_

Cas nodded and sighed. Despite the fact that he’d finally gotten a good night’s sleep, he was still feeling fuzzy and slightly lightheaded, but he ignored it and began getting ready for the day, feeding Gracie.

‘You can stay here if you want,’ Cas called from the bathroom as he switched on the shower.

When he was finished, he went out into the living room, wrapped in a bathrobe, where Dean sitting on the couch, playing with Gracie, until she saw him and ran over to him. She rubbed her face against his leg, but stopped half way through and swiped at his leg when she realised it was wet.

‘Hey, that’s your fault for not checking first,’ he said to her, swatting at her. She ran back to Dean, tail held aloft indignantly.

_{It’s sweet how you talk to your cat}_

_{She gets upset if iI don’t}_

Dean laughed and Cas went to get dressed. He quickly dried his hair and shoved on his shoes. ‘Here’s the spare key,’ he said, giving it to Dean. ‘Make sure to lock the door when you leave.’

_{I’ll drop by the bakery around lunchtime}_

‘See you then.’

Cas rushed down to the bakery to get started, stopping a few times when he felt dizzy. He was slower than he would have liked during his morning prep time, and didn’t end up making the brie and cranberry tarts that he wanted, however he did manage to make a pizza base, ready for lunchtime when he would make it for Dean.

Alfie arrived at the usual time, but immediately looked alarmed when he saw Cas. ‘You look awful,’ he said. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing,’ said Cas, waving him away. ‘I’m fine.’ He took a large gulp of the water that he’d been carrying around with him. He fumbled with the batch of cupcakes he had been attempting to decorate and put them out on display.

‘If you insist,’ Alfie mumbled, before pulling out his phone and sending a quick text.

Cas checked his watch then began on the pizza, carefully blending his tomatoes and herbs into a thick pizza sauce and allowing it to simmer on the stove for a while. Then he spooned and spread it on the base he’d made earlier, along with slices of the mozzarella and herbs on top.

By the time it had finished baking, Dean had arrived, so he put it up on the counter and sliced it.

Dean ignored it, however,ad came around the counter to look Csa directly in the face.

 _{Something’s wrong]_ he signed.

‘I’m fine’ Cas said.

_{You’re shaking}_

_{I am not}_ Cas pushed past him but stopped at the corner of the counter. He had been a little dizzy before but now the entire room was spinning. He grabbed hold of the counter, but it wasn’t enough. His vision went grey at the edges, then everything lurched sideways and he smacked his head on the counter, out cold before he even hit the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to Queen_and_Three, Queen0fHearts, snips92 and Castibella_Shipper_of_the_Lord for the comments and I'll see you all again next week.


	10. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

Cas's eyes fluttered open and the first thing he saw was Dean. He groaned softly and put a hand to the large lump that had formed on his head. 'Dean… what happened?'

'You passed out and hit your head.'

Cas was confused for a moment, then realised that he and Dean weren't alone.

It was Gabriel that had spoken and he was sitting in a chair at the foot of the bed Cas was lying on.

'What the - Gabriel?' Cas tried to sit up, but his head throbbed and Dean pushed him back down. 'Where am I?'

'You're in the hospital, genius. You passed out.'

'Why are you even here?' Cas snapped.

'I thought that was obvious.'

'Yeah, well no one asked you to come, so you can go now.'

'Actually, Dean asked me to come. He got my number off your phone and texted me.'

'Why?' Cas asked Dean.

 _{He knows your medical history better than I do}_ Dean rationalised.  _{I figured you'd prefer him over your mom}_

Cas sighed. 'Fine,' he said grumpily. 'Let's just get out of here.' He tried to get up again, but Dean wouldn't allow it.

_{Wait for the doctor}_

Cas glared at him.

 _{Will you grow up?}_ Dean signed, a slight, amused smile playing at his lips.

Cas folded his arms and dropped back down on the bed, then Dean grabbed the little remote beside his bed and pushed down a button. It made the bed move upwards, pushing Cas up in a sitting position.  _{Better?}_

_{Thanks}_

Just then, the doctor entered holding a clipboard. She smiled at Cas when she saw he was awake. 'Welcome back to the world,' she said warmly. 'How are you feeling?'

'Like I got hit in the head.'

'According to your friend, here, you hit your head on a counter when you collapsed, so that would explain that,' she smiled. 'Now, I need to ask you a few questions. It might be more comfortable if we were alone?'

Cas shrugged. 'It doesn't matter. They can stay.'

'Well, if you're sure… First of all, do you drink?' she asked, flipping through his paperwork.

'No.'

'Do you smoke?'

'No.'

'Height?'

'Six foot.'

'Weight?'

'Uh… a hundred and thirty pounds, or thereabouts.'

'Okay, a little underweight, but okay. Let's see, it says here your blood pressure's a little high but nothing too bad. Are you currently on any medications?'

'No.'

'Are you sexually active?'

Cas flushed and glanced briefly at Dean before saying, 'No.'

The doctor raised an eyebrow at him. 'Are you sure?'

Cas turned even redder and Gabriel laughed at him.

'Oh, he's sure,' Gabriel sniggered. 'How long has it been, exactly, Cas?'

'None of your business,' Cas snapped.

'I'll take your word for it,' the doctor said, smirking slightly. 'Now, let's take a look at your blood work…' She flipped to another page, analysed it for a moment and frowned. 'What was the last thing you ate?' she asked.

'I had a hotdog yesterday.'

'And before that?'

Cas thought back and his heart dropped. 'Some oatmeal,' he said quietly.

'Uh-huh, and when was that?'

Cas mumbled something.

'Sorry, what?'

Cas cleared his throat. 'About four days ago.'

'Oh, okay. Mystery solved in that case, you just had a little drop in your blood sugar,' she said, checking the notes on the last page on her clipboard. She looked up at him and hesitated, glancing at Dean and Gabriel. 'It says here that you used to take Citalopram, is that correct?'

Cas inhaled sharply, then sighed. 'Yes, I did. I came off it years ago, though.'

'I see. I'm going to refer you back to your GP, so you can discuss whether or not you need to go back on it, and also to see if we can't do anything about that blood pressure.'

Cas nodded and winced, his head throbbing.

'All right, so I'll get someone to come in and get that cannula out, and then you can go home. Make sure you rest up and get something to eat, and we can avoid this trip a second time, all right?'

'Thank you, doctor,' said Cas. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

'You didn't tell me you came off your meds,' Gabriel said.

'Yeah, I didn't tell you I started taking vitamins either. It's not a big deal.'

'Come on, Cas-'

'Don't.' Cas finally looked at Dean, who was keeping a close watch on him.  _{Thank you. I'm not angry. You did the right thing}_

Dean grimaced.  _{You scared me, you know?}_

_{I'm sorry. That's the last thing I wanted}_

Dean put a hand on Cas's shoulder, squeezing in gently.

 _{Could I have a moment with my brother?}_ Cas asked.

 _{Of course}_ Dean stood and brushed down his jeans, then left the room.

'Well, this is awkward,' said Gabriel, with a nervous laugh.

'Where are you staying?'

'What?'

'Clearly you never went home. It would have taken you too long to get here, so where are you staying?'

'Just at a hotel in town.'

'Why? Where's Mom? You didn't bring her, did you?'

'No, she's at home now. I stayed 'cause…'

'Because what?'

'I wanted to talk to you, I just couldn't figure out what I wanted to say.'

'You could start with "sorry".'

'Oh my God, Cas, I am. I'm sorry, I'm  _so_ sorry. I should've known better than to let her convince me everything would be fine.' Gabriel grabbed Cas's hand and shuffled closer in his chair. 'She made it seem so easy, that she would come here and you guys would talk, and we would all be a family again…'

'Gabriel-'

'But I was wrong and I exposed you again. I'm sorry, I really am. I made a mistake, but you're my baby brother and it would kill me if you stopped talking to me too.'

Cas felt tears prick his eyes as he saw Gabriel's filling up. He gripped Gabriel's hand tightly. 'It's okay,' he whispered past the lump in his throat. 'I understand why you'd want that. I know this has all been hard on you too. You always were the peacemaker.'

'I'll never do it again, I promise you.'

'It's okay, Gabriel. I just- a little warning would have been nice. I understand why you did it, but it caught me by surprise. I wasn't prepared for it at all. I sprayed frosting all over one of my best friends.'

Gabriel's mouth twitched. 'Your friend? Are you sure?'

Cas squinted at him. 'I'm confused. Yes, he's my friend.'

'And that's it?'

'What- Yes, that's it, Gabriel. Do we have to have this conversation every time you come here?'

'All right, I'll stop, jeez.' Gabriel leant back in his chair, thinking for a minute. 'You know, Mom thinks you're a really good baker.'

'Now you're just messing with me,' said Cas.

'It's true. We had someone go in and buy some stuff before we came to see you. We didn't know if you'd sell anything to her or not.'

'Mom would never eat any baked goods. Too many carbs.'

'See, I thought you'd say that, so I made her record it.'

Cas's eyes widened. 'You did what?' he said, a smile spreading across his face.

'Yeah, I totally did. I'll show you - I mean - if you want.'

'Show it to me.'

Gabriel dug in his jacket pocket for his shiny smartphone and pulled the video up on it.

Cas flinched at the sight of their mom, standing on the street with his bakery just visible along the road.

Gabriel's voice came from behind the camera.  _'Mom, tell Cas what you think of his food.'_

Emily rolled her eyes. ' _Why can't I just tell him when I see him?'_

' _We're dealing with some pretty heavy stuff today, we might not get a chance.'_

Emily folded her arms.

' _Come on, Mom, humour me.'_

' _All right, fine,'_ Emily sighed. ' _Castiel, I tried some of your food today. I enjoyed these little lemon tarts you made, and your bread is beautiful. You're a talented baker.'_ A small smile turned up the corners of her thin lips.

' _That's awesome, Mom. I'll show him later.'_

The video ended and Cas pushed the phone away. 'Why do you have to do this to me?' he said to Gabriel, mostly joking.

'I know what she did to you was terrible, and if you can't forgive her, I totally understand, like, no question,' Gabriel said, putting the phone back in his pocket. 'But maybe think about giving it another chance?'

Cas gave a slight shake of his head. 'She did eat bread for me,' he conceded.

'Yeah, exactly,' Gabriel laughed.

'All right, I'll think about it.'

Gabriel gave a great sigh of relief and leaned over to hug Cas tightly. 'Thank you so much, that's all I could ever ask of you.'

'You're not getting anything for Christmas, you know,' Cas joked, his voice muffled by Gabriel's shoulder.

'That's fair,' Gabriel replied.

There was a knock on the door, and in came a nurse, pushing a wheelchair that had some medical equipment in a tray sitting on it. 'Okay, Castiel, let's just get that cannula out and we can get you out of here.'

Gabriel moved out of the way and Cas noticed Dean hovering in the doorway, waiting.

The nurse pulled on his latex gloves and got to work on the cannula in Cas's hand.

Pulling off the tape was the worst part. Cas gripped the sheet with his other hand, eyes watering, until it was finally over. The nurse carefully placed on a small dressing. 'All right, you're good to go. Let's just get you into this wheelchair.'

'I don't need that, do I?' Cas said, eyeing it distastefully.

'Sorry, everyone has to do it,' said the nurse, gesturing at the chair.

Cas tutted an swung his legs over the side of the bed. He stood up, but swayed violently, his head swimming from the bump on it and his limbs emptying of feeling.

'Careful,' said the nurse, taking him by the arms and lowering him into the chair.

Cas took a few deep breaths until his head stopped spinning, then the nurse began to wheel him out. 'Who's at the bakery?' he asked Gabriel.

'Sam and Alfie are working it out, don't worry.'

 _{My car is outside. I'll take you home}_ Dean signed as Cas was wheeled out.

'Not back to the bakery?'

'Absolutely not,' said the doctor, who had been coming up to them with Cas's paperwork. 'Go home and rest. Make sure you eat something, and you'll be fine to go back to work  _tomorrow_ ,' she insisted, handing him his discharge papers.

'But-'

'You need rest,' she repeated. 'If you try to go back to work now, you'll just end up back here. Take care of yourself, Castiel.' With that, she grabbed another clipboard from the nurse's station and dashed off in another direction.

'Come on, then,' the nurse said bracingly, wheeling Cas towards the door of the ward.

Dean went ahead of them to bring the car around, and Cas and Gabriel waited for him at the front entrance.

'Gabe,' Cas said quietly, his voice weaker than he'd expected.

'Yeah?'

'Can you stay wherever it is you're staying tonight? You can come by the bakery tomorrow, if you want…'

'Yeah, of course I can.'

Dean's Impala came around the corner and the nurse helped Cas to his feet slowly, then into the passenger side of Dean's car.

'I'll see you tomorrow,' Cas said to Gabriel, waving as Dean pulled away.

Cas was silent as they drove, gazing out of the window. He felt a gentle nudge and looked to see Dean glancing at him.

 _{R- U- O-K?}_ He spelled with one hand.

'I'm fine,' Cas said. 'A little dizzy, I guess. Disappointed with myself.'

_{Y?}_

'I let her get to me too much, and now I'm here.'

 _{I-T H-P-P-N-S.}_ They rounded a corner, then Dean continued.  _{N-T -Y-R F-L-T}_

'Hmm…'

_{U W-R S-R-P-R-S-D}_

That one took Cas a moment to decipher. 'Oh, I was definitely surprised.'

They arrived back at Cas's apartment and Dean helped him inside, to his chair.

Gracie immediately trotted out of the bedroom, yowling loudly. She jumped up to Cas's lap and sniffed at him, shoving her furry face into his cheeks.

'Get down,' he muttered, trying to keep his face away from her. 'I'm fine.'

After she had thoroughly investigated him, she settled down on his lap, seemingly satisfied.

Cas looked up and saw Dean going through his cupboards. 'What are you doing?' he asked.

Dean turned around and signed  _{I'm making dinner. Why do you only have noodles in here?}_

Cas shrugged. 'All of my good ingredients go to the bakery.'

Dean nodded and picked up his keys.  _{Don't move. I'll be right back}_

He left again and Cas dozed off while he waited, jolting back awake when the door closed.

Dean smiled at him, as he put his bags up on the counter.

Cas smiled back, allowing one of his eyes to close lazily, but keeping the other slightly open in case Dean wanted to talk to him.

Soon, the apartment was filled with cooking smells.

 _{You like sausages?}_ Dean signed, picking one up and waving it at him suggestively, eyes twinkling.

Cas laughed loudly, almost dislodging Gracie. 'I like sausages a healthy amount, Dean.'

Dean chuckled and placed a couple of sausages in the sizzling frying pan.

Cas watched him as he cooked. He seemed confident, flipping the sausages over regularly, his broad shoulders hunched over the frying pan. With Dean's concentration elsewhere, Cas took the opportunity to allow his gaze to slowly travel down Dean's body. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, exposing his defined forearms. Every movement was deliberate, all of his muscles moving in concert with each other. Then Cas noticed he was slightly bow-legged and smiled to himself at the way Dean walked with it. He caught a glimpse of Dean's expression of concentration, a little frown creasing the space between his eyebrows. Cas felt a fluttering in his stomach, but quickly pushed it away, putting it down to his light-headedness.

Dean brought Cas a plate once he was finished cooking, and sat on the couch with his own plate.

'This is really good, Dean,' Cas said, slowly taking bites of his food.

Dean grinned, digging into his.

'Dean...' Cas said uncertainly. 'You won't tell anyone about- about my medication, will you?'

Dean looked at him for a moment, then drew out his notebook and wrote something. He turned it to Cas and he read 'Lexapro'. Dean nodded and pointed at himself.

'Oh,' Cas said quietly.

 _{I'm anxiety on legs}_ Dean signed lightly.  _{Medication is nothing to be ashamed of}_

Cas nodded.

 _{Who would I tell?}_ Dean joked.  _{I do want to talk again someday}_  he signed, more seriously.  _{I started seeing a therapist}_

 _{That's great, D-e-a-n}_ Cas signed enthusiastically.  _{A really good step}_

_{I hope so}_

Once they had finished their food, Dean washed up all the dishes, fed Gracie and the fish, then brought Cas a glass of water and some Tylenol.

Although he felt a lot better now that he had eaten something, his head was still sore from its contact with the counter.

 _{I'm staying here tonight}_ Dean signed.  _{I'm making breakfast, no arguments}_

 _{If you insist}_ Cas shrugged. He took the pills and pushed Gracie off his lap. As soon as Dean realised he was getting up, he was at Cas's side, steadying him, with one arm wrapped around Cas's shoulders, and the other hand at his chest to stop him from falling forwards.

It was slow going, with Dean not allowing him to go too quickly, but he eventually made it to the bedroom. Dean gave him some privacy in which to change into his pyjamas, but then helped Cas lower himself into bed.

Dean fussed over the pillows for a minute.  _{Are you okay?}_ he asked eventually.

_{I'm fine}_

Dean hesitated before leaving the room.  _{I tried your pizza while we were waiting for the ambulance. It was really good}_

Cas laughed.  _{Was that really the best time for pizza?}_

_{It's always a good time for pizza. Goodnight, C-a-s}_

_{Goodnight, D-e-a-n}_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, what's up, welcome back! Thanks to Castibella_Shipper_of_the_Lord, M, KAL, QueenofHearts and snips92 for the comments!  
> Hi everyone, sorry I missed a week. I was in the hospital for a little while, but don't worry, everything's fine now! I'll be back to my regular schedule now so I'll see you all next week!


	11. Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

The next morning, Cas felt almost back to normal, but for the pain in his head, though not as strong as it had been the day before. He gave Gracie her breakfast and went for a shower. When he came out, Dean was in the kitchen grabbing a frying pan.

 _{Nice}_ Dean signed, grinning and indicating at Cas, only wrapped in a towel around his waist.

Cas blushed and pulled it tighter around himself.

_{How do you like your eggs?}_

‘Uh - scrambled,’ Cas replied, his brain feeling much the same way, and hurried back into his room to get dressed. He realised that he needed to do some laundry when all he had left to wear was the lumpy, grey sweater with a tomato sauce stain on it. He sighed and put it on, then went back out to the living room to the smell of cooking bacon.

Gracie was extremely interested, standing on the counter next to the stove. Dean was keeping her at bay by scratching the top of her head with one hand and flipping the bacon with a spatula in the other hand.

‘I think she likes you,’ Cas said.

Dean turned around and raised his eyebrows at Cas’s sweater. _{I think she likes the bacon}_ he signed, smiling at him. _{You still need to go shopping}_

_{It’s a shame. This was a nice sweater before I spilled tomato on it}_

_{I’m not so sure about that}_ Dean teased, before turning back to the bacon. He passed Cas his breakfast once it was finished and sat across from his chair on the couch again.

_{I have a lot to do today, so I might not be able to come by the bakery}_

_{That’s fine. You’ve done more than enough for me these last few days}_

Gracie then jumped up onto the couch and curled up next to Dean.

 _{It’s not the bacon}_ Cas smiled.

Dean grinned, little crinkles appearing at the corners of his eyes, and gently pet Gracie.

They cleared up the dishes together, then left the apartment. Dean walked Cas to the bakery, where they found Alfie waiting outside.

‘What are you doing out here?’ Cas asked him, fiddling with the front door.

‘I’m helping you out today,’ he said. ‘Since you’re sick.’

‘I’m not sick, Alfie,’ Cas frowned.

Alfie just shrugged.

Dean tapped Cas on the arm. _{I have to go. I’ll see you later}_

 _{Okay, bye, D-e-a-n}_ Cas signed with a smile.

 _{Bye, D-e-a-n}_ Alfie signed slowly, reminding them of when Cas himself had begun learning.

Dean waved and disappeared back around the corner to pick up his car.

‘You don’t have to do this,’ Cas said to Alfie as they entered the shop.

‘Sure I don’t, but that doesn’t change anything,’ Alfie said, tying on his apron. ‘Besides, I finished my latest commission last night and I need something to do until the next one.’

‘In that case, I’m glad to be of service.’

They both went out into the kitchen and began working on that morning’s food.

‘How did yesterday go?’ Cas asked Alfie, bringing out a large bag of flour.

‘It went well,’ Alfie told him, grabbing some baking trays from one of the cupboards. ‘Sam was great on the counter. I’m not as good a baker as you, but I followed your recipes and they seemed to turn out okay.’

Cas nodded.

‘And I took the leftovers to the homeless shelter as well.’

‘That’s great, Alfie, thank you, I appreciate it.’

They worked together in a comfortable silence for a while, kneading and rolling. Cas thought again about Gabriel and remembered he would be visiting later on. He glanced sideways at Alfie and bit his lip. Since Sam and Dean now knew, he didn’t see any reason why Alfie shouldn’t. He didn’t think Alfie would react badly, considering the amount of time he’d spent with Charlie, but that didn’t make it any easier. He took a shaky breath and, with a dry mouth said, ‘Alfie, I’m gay.’

There was a beat of silence, then Alfie said, ‘Oh,’ mildly surprised.

‘That’s why- that’s why Mom and Dad threw me out.’

Alfie nodded. ‘That makes sense.’ Then he looked at Cas with a horrified expression, realising what he had just said and quickly backtracked. ‘That’s not what I meant - I mean, obviously they shouldn’t have - I don’t think that at all-’

Cas started laughing, mostly in relief. ‘It’s all right, I know what you meant.’

Alfie laughed nervously. ‘Thanks for telling me, Cas. It must be hard for you, since Aunt Emily and Uncle Charles are your parents.’

Cas shrugged. ‘I think I’m feeling better about it lately.’

‘Good.’

They carried on working, Cas tackling the bread and Alfie getting started on the cake batters.

‘So…’ Alfie said after a while. ‘What about Dean?’

‘What about him?’

‘Is he…?’

‘What? No. I don’t think so.’

Alfie looked doubtful. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes.’

‘I don’t know… But you like him, right?’

Cas groaned. ‘Come on, Alfie, not you too.’

‘All right, all right. I’m gonna go get the coffee started.’

Alfie hung around until just after lunchtime, and was getting ready to go when Gabriel walked through the door.

‘Alfie!’ he exclaimed.

‘Gabriel,’ Alfie said warily, glancing behind him in case he’d brought Emily back with him.

‘Don’t worry, just me,’ Gabriel said, correctly interpreting Alfie’s expression. ‘Where’s Cas?’

‘Cas, it’s Gabriel,’ Alfie called, keeping his eyes fixed on Gabriel.

Cas came out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel.

Gabriel whistled at the large bruise on Cas’s head. ‘That does not look like fun,’ he said, pointing at it.

‘It’s fine,’ Cas said, brushing it off. ‘Here, I made some food for you.’ He pulled a small basket out from under the register and passed it to Gabriel. ‘Are you going home soon?’

‘Actually yeah, I’m going home tomorrow morning. I figure it’ll be safe, since we talked and everything.’

Cas nodded. ‘You could visit more often, if you wanted.’

Gabriel grinned. ‘I’ll text Alfie and make sure you know next time.’

‘Fine by me,’ said Alfie. ‘Do you want a coffee before I go?’

‘Sure.’

Alfie handed him a cup and then said goodbye.

Gabriel hung around for the rest of the afternoon, charming all the customers and getting sprinkles everywhere when he tried to decorate some cupcakes.

At the end of the day, Cas closed up and Gabriel hugged him tightly after he locked the front door.

‘I’ll see you soon, I promise,’ he said.

‘I’ll try and be better with my phone,’ said Cas. ‘And, uh, let me know if Mom’s free to talk maybe sometime next week.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, sure, why not?’

Gabriel’s face lit up. ‘Okay, yeah, I’ll let you know. I’ll set something up.’

‘Okay. See you soon, okay?’

‘Yeah, see you soon.’ Gabriel grudgingly walked away and Cas made his way to the homeless shelter, where he dropped off his spare loaf of bread and a chocolate cake.

Once at home, Cas began stuffing his dirty clothes into a large canvas bag to take to the laundromat. The straps were a little long for him, so he struggled to pull it outside, having to yank it through backwards. It popped through the doorway, and Cas stumbled backwards and bumped into something that made an ‘ _oof’_ sound. He spun around and there was Dean, looking extremely confused and rubbing his chest.

 _{What are you doing?}_ Dean signed.

‘Laundry,’ Cas said, heaving the bag off the floor where he’d dropped it. ‘Why are you here?’

_{I came to see you. I mean, I came to see if you were okay. I thought I would make dinner again}_

Cas hadn’t even thought about what he was going to do for dinner. ‘How about after I do this?’ he said, adjusting the bag.

Dean looked at it. _{Give me that}_ he signed. _{Clearly your little noodle arms can’t handle it}_ He smirked and held his hand out for the bag.

Cas passed it over and Dean motioned for him to lead the way.

Once there, Cas got to work, separating his clothes and putting them into machines, hurriedly shoving in his underwear when Dean wasn’t looking. He put coins in the machines and settled down on the bench in the middle of the room to wait.

Dean sat next to him, looking at the bruise on his head. _{How is it today?}_ he asked, then reached out to brush it lightly with his thumb.

 _{It’s not bad. It still hurts, but not too much}_ Cas shifted until he was sitting cross-legged on the bench, facing Dean. Then he noticed that Dean’s eyes and cheeks were red and splotchy. _{What’s wrong?}_ he asked, alarmed.

 _{It’s nothing}_ Dean signed, waving away his concern. _{I had therapy earlier. It’s tough}_

_{In a good way?}_

_{Yeah, in a good way}_ Dean looked around the room that was empty but for the two of them. He had an uncertain expression on his face and was lightly chewing his lip. _{I have something to show you that I’ve been working on in therapy}_ He signed, avoiding Cas’s eyes.

_{What is it?}_

Dean took a few deep breaths and checked the room was empty again. He cleared his throat and spoke two words out loud. ‘Hello, Cas.’

Cas was stunned, sitting with his mouth slightly open in shock. Dean’s voice was low and husky, and slightly hoarse from lack of use.

‘I- wow - that’s amazing, Dean.’

 _{I’ve been practising. You worked so hard to talk to me. I wanted to return the favor}_ Dean smiled briefly, and Cas pretended he didn’t notice Dean’s hands shaking.

_{The therapy is going well, then?}_

_{Yeah, really well}_

_{I’m glad to hear that}_

Dean smiled again, stood up and walked around the room, discreetly wringing his hands.

‘Are you okay?’ Cas asked.

Dean nodded, then turned back to Cas, looking him up and down.

‘What?’

_{Nothing}_

_{You’re a terrible liar}_

Dean rubbed the back of his neck, his smile growing wider. _{I was wondering about your__}_

_{My what? I don’t know that one}_

Dean wrote on his notepad ‘Tattoo’ and showed Cas the sign again.

 _{Tattoo. You want to know about my-}_ Cas cut himself off and groaned, embarrassed.

_{I saw it when you were - I saw it this morning}_

_{I can’t believe you saw that}_

_{What is it exactly?}_

Cas said nothing.

 _{I’ll show you mine if you show me yours}_ Dean offered.

_{You have one?}_

_{Sure}_ Dean pulled down the collar of his shirt and revealed a pentacle on the left side of his chest, made with simple black lines and surrounded by a corona.

Cas stared at it, forcing himself to focus on it and not the lines of Dean’s collarbone.

 _{Our mom was into this stuff}_ Dean explained. _{S-a-m has one too}_ Dean’s face fell slightly, but he picked himself back up again with a shake of the head. _{Your turn}_

Cas sighed and got to his feet. He grabbed the hem of his sweater and pulled it just up his ribcage, to show Dean the tiny set of feathery wings inked into his side.

Dean moved closer.

‘I got it just before I came here,’ Cas told him, his breath becoming shallow as Dean lightly traced Cas’s tattoo with a finger. ‘I thought that if my parents wouldn’t look out for me, then perhaps my namesake would.’

Dean’s eyes were soft and sympathetic. He stopped tracing the tattoo and cupped it in his hand. The air between them grew warm, though neither of them dared take a breath and break the spell.

Cas dropped his sweater, but Dean’s hand didn’t move, holding Cas firmly in place. His heart was thumping so loudly that he thought Dean must be close enough to hear it, and electricity shot through him as he saw Dean’s gaze briefly flick down. He hesitantly reached out, intending to grab Dean by the hips, but then the door to the laundromat opened and several children and their harassed-looking mother all piled into the room.

Dean dropped his hand and stepped back, watching the children scatter throughout the room, yelling at each other.

 _{I’m going to get dinner}_ Dean signed. _{I’ll meet you back at yours when you’re finished here}_ He hurriedly exited the room.

Cas exhaled and sat heavily down on the bench again.

‘Sorry, did we interrupt something?’ the mother said, looking apologetic.

Cas shook his head but didn’t say anything. Had they? His heart was still racing but now that Dean had left, he couldn’t help but feel as though he’d imagined their entire encounter. He patted his pockets, hoping that this one time he hadn’t forgotten his phone, and found it tucked all the way down in his back pocket. He held it in one shaking hand and dialled Charlie’s number.

‘ _Cas? What’s going on?’_

‘Charlie, I’m so glad you picked up. Something just happened and I’m confused and very afraid.’

‘ _Oh my God, are you okay? What happened? Should I call the cops?’_

‘No, Charlie, it’s not _that_ bad,’ Cas said, grateful, for once, for Charlie’s ability to overreact and put things into perspective. ‘I just…’

‘ _Oh, okay, I get it. There’s a guy.’_

‘I- maybe… I’m not sure.’

‘ _Is it Dean?’_

‘Charlie-’

‘ _Is it?’_

Cas sighed. ‘Yes,’ he admitted.

‘ _Oh my God, you have to tell me everything - Wait! Let me get some Doritos first!’_

‘No, Charlie, don’t get Doritos…’ But it was already too late, and he could hear her opening and closing cabinets, looking for a bag. Eventually there was a rustling. ‘Whenever you’re ready, Charlie,’ Cas grumbled.

‘ _Okay,’_ Charlie said, voice muffled by the Doritos she’d just stuffed into her mouth. _‘So, you like him, obviously. Why don’t you just ask him out?’_

‘He’s straight, well at least, I thought he was.’

‘ _Elaborate please.’_

‘I-’ Cas cast a glance around the room. The children and their mother were still there, so he lowered his voice. ‘I think we almost just kissed. But I hit my head so maybe I was just imagining it. I don’t know, Charlie.’

‘ _You hit your head?’_

 _‘_ Yeah, I passed out yesterday and hit my head. I was in the hospital for a few hours, but I’m fine.’

‘ _What the hell, Cas, you didn’t call me? Is there something wrong with you, did they tell you?’_

Cas pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘There’s nothing wrong with me besides the usual. My mom came to see me. It wasn’t fun and then I forgot to eat for a while.’

‘ _Your mom, seriously? How did she find you?’_

‘Gabriel brought her.’

‘ _Son of a bitch. See, this is why you need to call me more often.’_

 _‘_ I know. Sorry.’

‘ _Are you going back on your meds?’_

 _‘_ I don’t know.’

‘ _Do you think you need them?’_

 _‘_ I don’t know.’

Realising Cas’s reluctance, Charlie changed the subject. ‘ _Anyway, anyway, back to Dean. You nearly kissed?’_

 _‘_ It seemed like, maybe… I don’t know.’

‘ _Come on, Cas, tell me already.’_

‘Well… He wanted to see my tattoo-’

‘ _Your tattoo?’_

 _‘_ Yes, so I showed him and then he started touching it...’

‘ _Dude, he was totally making a move. You don’t touch someone’s tattoo unless you’re making a move.’_

 _‘_ Oh, is that the rule?’

‘ _Duh. Then what happened?’_

 _‘_ Then he was close to me. Really close…’

‘ _Uh-huh, then what?’_

Cas heard her stuff more chips into her mouth. ‘And then some children came in and he left.’

‘ _Oh, lame. Still, that doesn’t sound like a particularly straight encounter.’_

 _‘_ I don’t know, Charlie…’

‘ _I don’t know why you’re having so much trouble with this, it’s not like you haven’t done it before.’_

Cas lowered his voice even further. ‘First of all, I was extremely drunk all three of those times. I don’t even remember the second guy’s name,’ he hissed. ‘Second, this is not like that at all. I’m not just trying to hook up with someone.’

‘ _Wow, serious business. Why are you whispering?’_

 _‘_ Those kids are still here.’

‘ _So grab your clothes and go home. Come on, stop holding back on me.’_

 _‘_ I can’t. Dean’s there.’

‘ _Wait, he’s at your place? Why?’_

 _‘_ He wanted to make sure I was okay, so he’s getting dinner.’

‘ _Oh my - Cas - what the - how is this even a question?’_ Charlie stammered. ‘ _The guy is getting you dinner. You’re totally in there. Seriously. Get your clothes right now, go home, and ask the guy out. Jeez.’_

 _‘_ Charlie, I can’t.’

‘ _You can. He likes you. You like him. Sorry, but you gotta.’_

 _‘_ Charlie-’

‘ _No, listen to me, Castiel, it has been way too long and you have to start living your life. I’m going to hang up this phone and you are going to call me in a couple of hours and tell me all about how you got this great guy to go out with you. I mean it. Talk to you later.’_ She did as she said and hung up, leaving Cas limply holding his phone in his hand.

‘Damn it,’ he muttered, tucking it back into his pocket.

Once his clothes were dry, he stuffed them all back into his bag, but stopped at the entrance, chewing on his lip.

‘Here, let me get that for you.’ The woman, who was still washing a load, held the door open for Cas, smiling politely.

‘Thank you,’ he stuttered, pulling the bag out the door with him. His legs carried him home and he stood outside the door, stomach churning. He took a deep breath and went inside.  

Dean looked up and smiled as Cas fell through the door, tripping over his laundry bag.

 _{Good, you’re home}_ Dean signed. _{Come on, dinner’s getting cold}_

Cas forcefully closed the door and dragged his bag into his bedroom. He put the bag in the closet, deciding to put the clothes away later. A nervous sweat slicked his palms, but he was going to do it. He would ask Dean out. He went back out into the living room and saw Dean putting something on plates.

Dean pushed his notepad towards Cas. It said ‘Mac and Cheese’ and showed Cas the sign.

 _{It looks good}_ Cas signed. He picked up a plate, sat down and decided to ask after dinner.

Though it was delicious, Cas didn’t manage to eat much of it, as nervous as he was.

 _{Are you okay?}_ Dean asked, noticing this. _{Is your head hurting?}_

Cas nodded, grateful for the excuse, although it was beginning to ache.

Dean took his plate and scraped the leftovers into a tupperware box, which he put in the fridge. _{Your lunch for tomorrow}_ he informed Cas.

 _{Thank you}_ Cas stared at him, willing himself to say more, to ask, but his arms refused to move more. His mouth, too, remained clamped shut.

Dean was taking his time washing the dishes and putting them away, glancing up at Cas every so often. He fed Gracie, too, then dawdled towards the door. _{I guess I’d better go}_ he signed.

Cas nodded, miserable in the knowledge that he wasn’t brave enough. _{Goodnight, D-e-a-n}_

_{See you tomorrow}_

Dean finally left and Cas groaned loudly once the door was closed.

Not wanting to speak to anyone else, Cas texted _I didn’t do it,_ to Charlie.

Her text in response said _You suck. I love you._

Cas said, _I know. I love you too,_ then went to bed, closing the door a little harder than he meant to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to Castibella_Shipper_of_the_Lord, Impala-baby, cas-you-assbutt-dean-needs-you (scarlet_willow) and QueenofHearts for the comments. See you again next week!


	12. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

The next few days were extremely uncomfortable for Cas whenever Dean came into the bakery. Caught between completely suppressing his feelings and the urge to blurt them all out whenever he saw Dean, he spent most of his time in a state of constant anxiety.

Alfie noticed Cas’s discomfort and tried to keep him from hurting himself in the kitchen, but there was only so much he could do during his three hour shift.

After a particularly difficult lunchtime, in which Dean lingered longer than usual, Cas hid in the kitchen for a while, trying to focus on something - anything - else, to de-frazzle his mind.

‘Stupid,’ he muttered. ‘This is not sustainable.’

‘Cas, are you okay?’ Alfie called from the front of the shop.

‘Yes, I’m fine,’ Cas lied.

Just as he was beginning to feel a little better, he heard his phone vibrating somewhere and scrambled to find it, eventually pulling it out from inside a stack of cake pans, briefly confused as to how it got there.

‘Gabriel?’ he said, seeing his name on the screen.

‘ _Hey, you answered! Congratulations.’_

 _‘_ I’ll give myself a pat on the back.’

‘ _You’re hilarious. Anyway, how are you doing?’_

 _‘_ I’m doing fine.’

‘ _Uh-oh, that doesn’t sound good.’_

 _‘_ I said I’m fine, Gabriel.’

‘ _Well, I’m convinced.’_

 _‘_ You should be,’ Cas said stubbornly.

‘ _Okay, then, if you’re sure… Mom wants to call tomorrow.’_

Cas dropped his phone on the floor, and was glad he hadn’t opted for something more expensive.

‘ _Cas, you there?’_

 _‘_ I’m here,’ Cas said faintly.

‘ _You still okay?’_

 _‘_ Actually, yes, I’m fine.’

‘ _Really? So I can give her the go ahead?’_

 _‘_ Uh… Yes, all right,’ Cas said hesitantly. ‘Thanks for the warning. I appreciate it.’

‘ _Of course. I gotta go. Catch you later.’_

Gabriel hung up, but Cas kept his phone clutched in his hand, a knot forming in his stomach, where it remained for the rest of the day.

There was a feeble attempt at dinner, but most of his noodles were uneaten when they got cold. He plugged his phone in, but kept checking it to make sure it was charging correctly, then changed into his pajamas. However, even look at his bed he knew that he would not be able to sleep. He picked up his phone again, careful not to dislodge the charger, and looked through his contacts for someone who could distract him. All it did, however, was serve as a sad reminder that he knew hardly anyone. The list consisted of Alfie, Charlie, Dean, Gabriel and Sam. He stared at Dean’s number. It would be a distraction at the very least.

 _I can’t sleep. Any tips?_ he texted.

There was an almost immediate response. _Get a blanket and a pillow and meet me outside._

Cas froze, having not expected Dean to want to come over. He looked down at himself in his pajamas and tried to reason with himself that Dean had seen him in them before.

Once the initial shock at Dean’s willingness to come over at the drop of a hat, Cas did as he said and grabbed a pillow and a blanket.

Gracie watched him curiously from the couch. She was very used to routine and this was decidedly not part of it.

A little while later, he heard the blast of Dean’s horn outside and locked his door behind him, then walked a little way up to the turning in the street, where Dean was waiting for him.

‘Hello,’ Dean said, his smile and voice both making Cas want to melt right into the pavement.

‘What’s this about?’ Cas asked.

_{You always fall asleep in my car. It might help}_

‘Oh,’ Cas said, embarrassed. ‘What about you? Don’t you need to sleep?’

 _{I had a nap earlier. I’ll be fine. Come on}_ He grabbed Cas’s bedclothes and began arranging them in the backseat, then held the door open for Cas.

He climbed in and lay across the backseat, pulling his blanket over himself, and jumped as he felt Dean arranging it over his legs. ‘You don’t need to tuck me in, you know,’ he said, slightly amused.

 _{Not true}_ Dean signed. _{Everyone needs to be tucked in by me. I’m the best}_

‘Well, there’s no arguing with that.’ Cas scooted down further into the back seat and found it to be a lot more comfortable than he was expecting. He relaxed a little more while Dean got back into the driver’s seat and switched on his music.

Once the car was moving, Cas soon drifted off to sleep. It was a soft, dreamless sleep at first, but then he was plunged into a nightmare, where there were angry voices all around him, accompanied by a deep and terrible cold. What seemed like a clawed hand grabbed him by the shoulder and he shot awake with a yell. After a moment, he realised that the car had stopped, and it wasn’t a clawed hand that had grabbed him, but rather Dean trying to shake him awake, crouching next to him in the door of the car.

Cas sat up and wrapped his arms around himself, shivering and breathing heavily.

Dean gently tapped him on the arm. _{Let’s get some air}_ he signed, then helped Cas out of the car. He hopped up onto the hood of the car and patted the space beside him for Cas to sit on.

Cas climbed up and sat stiffly, with his arms and legs crossed, still shivering until Dean slipped off his leather jacket and draped it over Cas’s shoulders.

 _{What was it about?}_ Dean asked.

Cas sighed. ‘A recurring nightmare I have. It’s been a while since the last time, though.’

Dean watched him intently, waiting for more.

Cas pulled the jacket more closely around himself. ‘When my parents threw me out,’ he began haltingly. ‘I didn’t have anyone I could go to. Or anywhere. I-’ He stopped himself and shook his head, then continued. ‘I was homeless. Seventeen years old and wandering around the streets for two months.’ Cas was still shivering, so Dean moved closer and put a comforting hand on Cas’s back.

‘That’s what the nightmare is about,’ he explained. ‘It was January at the time, and you never really appreciate the warmth of your own home until you’re stuck outside in the middle of winter, and the cold… It’s the worst part. Of course, the hunger is terrible, and the shame of having to beg and not being able to wash regularly… But the cold. Even on the nights I could find some sort of shelter, I was too scared to sleep, in case I froze to death.’

Dean gasped at this.

‘Charlie found me eventually. We’d met a few times before and she recognised me when she saw me begging. She took me back to her place and helped me clean up a little. Even though I had a place to stay, I couldn’t shake the cold for weeks. I’ll never forget it…’

Dean squeezed Cas tightly. _{That’s terrible. I’m sorry}_ he signed once he’d let go.

Cas shook his head. He was still shivering slightly, but he somehow felt lighter, and leaned back against the windshield, gazing up at the clear sky. Dean joined him.

‘This is the best part of living all the way out here,’ Cas said. ‘You can actually see the stars. Where are we anyway? What time is it?’

_{We’re a couple hours outside of town. It’s one in the morning}_

Cas nodded, already feeling better.

_{You like stars? Do you know what we’re looking at?}_

Cas smiled, the tension in his neck and shoulders fading. He pointed upwards. There are a few constellations visible all year round in the northern hemisphere. I’m sure you already know Ursa Major?’

_{What?}_

‘The Big Dipper?’

 _{You know the fancy name for it}_ Dean grinned.

‘Well if you follow those two stars on Ursa Major, you can find the Pole Star.’ Cas traced the path with his finger. ‘You’ll always be able to find North as long as you can find that. And then there’s Ursa Minor on the other side, and the constellation Draco, that sort of looks like a snake. Do you see it?’

Dean nodded, looking up at it. _{Which is your favourite?}_

‘That’s easy,’ said Cas. ‘Cassiopeia, the Queen. She’s up there, near the Pole Star. That one that looks like a “W”.’ But when he glanced at Dean, he saw the Dean wasn’t looking at it at all. Instead, he was staring at Cas, with a twinkle in his eye. ‘What?’ Cas asked.

Dean shrugged. _{I didn’t know you were so into that stuff. It’s cool}_

‘I’m glad you think so.’

Dean then stared at him for an uncomfortable amount of time, making him squirm a little.

‘Is there something on your mind?’ Cas asked quietly.

Dean bit his lip, then slowly raised his hands. _{Will you go out with me?}_

Cas nearly slipped off the hood of the car. ‘What?’ he gasped, catching himself.

 _{Will you go out with me?}_ Dean asked, more confidently this time. _{On a date?}_

 _‘_ You mean it?’

_{I do. What do you say?}_

_‘_ I- I would like that,’ Cas said smiling nervously.

 _{Great}_ Then Dean’s face fell slightly. _{Would you do me a favour and not mention it to S-a-m just yet? He doesn’t know that I… about… You know?}_

‘Oh. Of course,’ Cas said. ‘I understand completely.’

Then Dean was smiling again. _{Great. I’ll see what work is like tomorrow and text you}_

 _{Good plan}_ Cas signed.

His heart was fluttering the whole way home, and he went to bed feeling quite giddy, and with Dean asleep in the spare room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to snips92, Just_A_Cartoon_Lover, hoveringcat9, Castibella_Shipper_of_the_Lord, KAL and Suchafangirl23 for the lovely comments! Hope you all enjoyed the chapter and I'll see you again next week!
> 
> Also, follow me on Twitter @Nurmengardx


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Cas was humming quietly to himself and decorating some sugar cookies with Dean the next morning, when the bell above the door rang.

‘Oh, there you are.’ It was Sam, and Cas briefly glanced at Dean, who had stiffened slightly. ‘Sleepover at Cas’s again?’

Dean nodded.

‘Morning, Sam,’ Cas said, his nervousness causing his voice to rise a note.

‘Are you okay?’ Sam said, noticing this.

Cas cleared his throat. ‘Fine,’ he said, hastily grabbing a cloth and wiping down the counter, carefully avoiding looking at Dean.

‘Are you sure? You’re being kinda weird.’

‘Um…’ Cas glanced up. ‘My mom is supposed to be calling me today.’

‘Ah, I see. Will you be okay?’

Cas nodded.

‘Good. I just came to grab a cup of coffee before work. Is that okay?’

‘Help yourself,’ Cas said, moving out of the way of the coffee machine.

‘Great, thanks.’

Cas and Dean waited in tense silence while Sam poured himself a coffee, paid and left.

Once Cas was sure he was gone, he exhaled loudly. He finally looked Dean in the eye and they both began to laugh.

 _{I think it is important you know that I am a terrible liar}_ Cas admitted.

 _{Really? I think you did fine}_ Dean signed.

_{It wasn’t technically a lie. My mom is calling me today}_

Dean’s smile dropped. _{Are you ready for that?}_

_{I suppose we’ll find out}_

Dean sighed and checked his watch. _{I better go. I’ll text you later}_

_{Okay. Bye}_

Dean left him with a brief smile and a dollar for the cupcake he grabbed on his way out.

Cas went back into the kitchen and began preparing more bread dough, allowing his mind to wander. He knew his mother wouldn’t be calling him while it was still early in the day. She never roused herself before midday, but he kept his phone on the counter near the register just in case, fiddling with it until he was sure that the ringtone was on loud.

Alfie arrived at the usual time and stared at Cas for a while.

‘Is there something I can help you with, Alfie?’ Cas asked.

Alfie shook his head. ‘You’re in a weird mood. I can tell. What’s going on?’

‘Is everyone suddenly a mind reader today?’ Cas said, rolling his eyes.

‘No, you’re just terrible at hiding your emotions and I’ve known you since I was born.’

‘True,’ Cas conceded. ‘Mom is calling me later.’

‘Ah, okay. Are you closing early?’

‘We’ll see,’ Cas said. ‘Depends what time she calls.’

‘So you don’t have a time?’

‘No. Just that it’ll be today.’

Alfie nodded, then set about cleaning out the coffee machine again, although Cas noticed over the net few hours that he served more customers than he usually would, and even decorated some of the cupcakes.

Cas was grateful for the moments of quiet this provided him, as he felt himself becoming more and more tense once the clock had passed midday.

‘I have nothing to do this afternoon. I can stay, if you like,’ Alfie offered as he prepared to leave.

‘It’s fine, Alfie. You can go home,’ Cas smiled. In truth, he would rather he took his mom’s call either alone, or in the company of people who didn’t know him all that well.

At around 3pm, Cas was preparing for the after-school rush, when a peppy tune rang out from somewhere on the counter. He was confused at first, but then recognised his own ringtone and scrambled to grab it. He froze with it in his hand and took a few short, sharp breaths, then forced himself to press the ‘accept call’ button.

‘Hello?’ he said, a little hoarsely.

‘ _Castiel, is that you?’_

 _‘_ Yeah, Mom, it’s me.’

_‘How are you?’_

_‘_ I’m fine. Listen, I can’t talk long. The schools will be letting out soon and they’ll all be in here for cupcakes.’

‘ _Oh, of course. Have you been very busy?’_

 _‘_ Not really today. Weekends are usually busier.’

‘ _That makes sense, although I think you should be busy all the time. Your food is excellent.’_

Cas’s breath caught in his throat. ‘You really think that?’

‘ _Of course! Didn’t Gabriel show you the video he took of me?’_

 _‘_ Well, he did, but it’s different hearing it live.’

‘ _I see. I enjoyed what I ate when I came to visit. You should be proud of yourself, you’re quite skilled.’_

 _‘_ Thanks, Mom,’ Cas said faintly, chest constricting. He could hear his own breath becoming shallow. ‘I have to go. My cupcakes are ready.’

‘ _I understand. Can I call you again next week? I’ll avoid the school rush.’_

 _‘_ Yeah, that’s fine,’ Cas said hastily. ‘I’ll talk to you next week.’

_‘Goodbye, Castiel.’_

_‘_ Bye, Mom.’ He hung up the phone, then slumped against the counter to catch his breath. He didn’t have long, though, before kids began streaming into the bakery, so he rubbed his face, pulled himself together, and helped some of them decorate their own cupcakes.

Eventually, he began to wind down for the day, and texted Dean during a quiet moment.

_Mom called._

It wasn’t long before he got a text back. _How did it go?_

 _Mixed,_ Cas replied.

_Do you need some company?_

Cas sighed. As much as he would have liked to see Dean, he was feeling too frazzled. _I think I’ll just close up and go to bed._

_Sounds like a good plan._

Cas went to text back, but got another one from Dean in quick succession. _How’s Saturday at around 7 for you?_

Cas was glad that no one was around to see him flush. _That works for me._

_Awesome. I’ll pick you up at yours. You won’t need to wear anything fancy, but try and avoid that gray sweater. What pie are you making tomorrow?_

_Key Lime._

_Sweet. Save me some._

_Sure. See you tomorrow._

Cas put his phone away and began closing up. It was a little earlier than usual, but he wasn’t too upset about this. He packed everything up for the homeless shelter and locked the door behind him. It was still light outside, so when Cas got home, he decided to give Charlie a call.

 _‘Wow. Two calls in one week. I must be blessed or something,’_ Charlie said when she answered the phone. ‘ _That, or you’re having boy trouble.’_

 _‘_ Can it be both?’ Cas said, pouring food into Gracie’s bowl. ‘Although, I wouldn’t necessarily call it trouble.’

_‘All right, spill it. I already have some snacks, so go ahead. Did you ask him out?’_

_‘_ No, but he asked me.’

_‘How’d you swing that one?’_

_‘_ I wish I knew.’

_‘Come on, man, details. What happened? Was it romantic? Did you gaze into each other’s eyes and all that crap?’_

Cas rolled his eyes. ‘That depends on your definition of romantic, and yours includes getting wasted and hitting on her in a convenience store at 3am.’

‘ _Hey, she was just as wasted, and I think we both came off better for it. Whatever, you’re avoiding the subject.’_

 _‘_ Fine, I’ll tell you.’

‘ _Don’t try and make out like you’re not dying to tell me.’_

 _‘_ If you’re going to keep interrupting me, then maybe I won’t.’

‘ _Sorry, jeez. I’ll be quiet.’_

‘I couldn’t sleep last night, so Dean and I went for a drive. I fell asleep in his car-’

‘ _You fell asleep in his car?’_

 _‘_ It’s very comfortable in his car.’

‘ _Really? What kind is it?’_

 _‘_ How would I know that?’

‘ _I don’t know, maybe by using your eyes.’_

 _‘_ Why would I be looking at Dean’s car when he’s standing right in front of me?’

‘ _Good point. Continue.’_

 _‘_ He woke me up when I had that nightmare I get, so I told him all about it while we were sitting on the hood of his car out in a field somewhere.’

‘ _Wait, you told him about your nightmare? And what it’s about?’_

 _‘_ I did.’

‘ _Nice. Brave. He took it well?’_

 _‘_ He seemed sympathetic.’

_‘Uh-huh, so then what?’_

_‘_ Then I started talking about stars and I showed him my favourite constellations, and then he asked me on a date.’

‘ _It’s like you’re living in a romance movie. A super gay one, that is. When is the date?’_

 _‘_ It’s on Saturday.’

‘ _That’s so awesome, Cas! I’m so excited for you!’_

Cas grinned, and ignored Gracie’s attempts at gaining his attention. ‘It is exciting, isn’t it?’

‘ _It so is! Especially since you didn’t scare him away by being such a nerd either. Or with your awful fashion sense. What are you going to wear, by the way?’#_

 _‘_ Uh… That’s a very good question.’ Cas went into his room and began to dig through his closet. As much as he loved his sweaters, none of them were good enough for a date.

‘ _As long as you don’t wear that gray sweater with the tomato stain,’_ Charlie sniggered.

‘Why does everyone hate my sweater so much?’ Cas complained, rifling even further back into his closet.

‘ _Because it’s ugly, dude. What about that suit you have?’_

 _‘_ No, Dean said nothing fancy. Charlie, I have nothing.’

‘ _Don’t worry, I can help you. I know your measurements, so if you just let me pick something, I can have it delivered to the bakery for you.’_

 _‘_ You know my measurements?’ Cas said suspiciously.

‘ _You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to buy you a decent outfit. Come on, Cas, trust me. I got your back.’_

Cas sighed. ‘All right, but nothing pink, and nothing with studs.’

‘ _Okay, I get the studs, but why not pink?’_

Cas shrugged. ‘It’s not my color.’

‘ _You’re so weird. Okay, I gotta go. I have got this covered, so don’t you worry about a thing. I’m so good at shopping.’_

 _‘_ Thanks, Charlie.’

‘ _No problem. ‘Night.’_

 _‘_ Goodnight.’

She hung up and Cas changed into his pajamas.

He turned and looked at his bed, but the thought of trying to get to sleep in it was too daunting, so he grabbed a blanket and dragged it into the living room. He got himself comfortable in his recliner, but he couldn’t seem to sleep. His thoughts were racing, but he didn’t want to disturb Dean at work. He looked around the room for a solution and found one with his laptop. He might not be able to replicate the exact feeling of being in the car, but perhaps putting on some music might help. He pulled it towards him and put on a random classic rock playlist on YouTube, then switched off the lights. It wasn’t perfect, but the music at least helped him fall into a shallow, restless sleep for a few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up everyone, welcome back. Thanks to KAL, Suchafangirl23, Queen0fHearts, deadgloves and snips92 for the comments. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter and I'll be back next week.  
> Follow me on Twitter for updates @Nurmengardx


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Saturday rolled around, and a package from Charlie arrived just after Cas opened. He left it under the counter for the day and kept himself occupied for the day, despite his stomach churning.

He brought the box home and was just about to open it when his phone rang.

‘Charlie, what is it? I’m just about to get ready,’ he said.

‘ _Open your computer so I can set up Skype. I gotta see you in those clothes,’_ she said excitedly.

‘You can do that?’

‘ _Sure, I made it so I could access your computer from mine, just in case.’_

 _‘_ It’s a good thing I don’t actually use it for anything important, otherwise that would be intensely creepy.’

‘ _Just shut up and do it.’_

 _‘_ All right, fine.’ Cas went out into the living room and switched on his computer. After a moment, the cursor began moving on its own. ‘Is that you?’

‘ _Yeah, that’s me. Okay, this’ll take a minute. Go do whatever you need to do.’_

Cas threw himself through the shower, taking care to wash all of the flour out of his hair, and quickly dried himself off, towelling his hair until it was dry and fluffy. He put on a robe and went back into the living room.

‘Hey!’ Charlie’s voice said, making him jump.

‘What the- _Charlie!’_

Her face was fullscreen on his laptop, on what he assumed was Skype.

‘What’s up?’ Charlie said. ‘You look great, but I think Dean might prefer you a little more clothed. Well, in public, at least.’

‘I could have been naked!’ Cas hissed.

‘Nah, you never leave the bathroom naked. Come on, I want to see you take it out of the box.’

Cas rolled his eyes and opened the box. The first thing he pulled out was a deep blue sweater, that was exceedingly soft. ‘Charlie, this is nice,’ he said, surprised. ‘I thought we were steering away from sweaters, though.’

‘I didn’t want you to be too far outside your comfort zone. Besides, it’s not sweaters, it’s _your_ sweaters that are terrible.’

‘Thanks.’

‘You’re welcome. So that blue is definitely your colour, and the softness will make you totally irresistible. Next.’

Cas then unfolded a creamy-white shirt. It too was soft, not at all like the stiff suit shirt he had in his closet.

‘That’s to go under your sweater,’ Charlie said.

‘Yes, Charlie, I know how clothes work.’

‘Debatable. Keep going.’

‘I’m not wearing these,’ Cas said, as he pulled out a quality pair of black skinny jeans. ‘They’re ridiculous.’

‘Are you kidding? They’ll look amazing on you. They’re super comfortable and easy to move in, and they’ll make you look taller. Come on, Cas, just give them a chance.’

‘No.’

‘Okay, then, what would you rather wear? One of your hundreds of pairs of awful, beige canvas pants, or how about that one tweed pair you have from that suit you lost half of?’

Cas said nothing.

‘Yeah, that’s what I thought. Just trust me, Cas, you’ll look great. Now hurry up and get dressed.’

‘How do I turn off this camera?’

‘Just click on that little camera icon on the bottom of the screen.’

‘Okay, I see it.’

‘Don’t forget the sneakers in the bottom of the box.’

Cas put on the clothes, careful not to crease them. ‘They are comfortable,’ he conceded.

‘Let me see, let me see!’

Cas switched the camera back on, after a moment of searching for the icon, and stood back so she could get a full view.

‘Nice,’ Charlie said, nodding approvingly. ‘Fits great.’

‘I should hope so, since you know my measurements.’

‘No time for your sass right now, so just turn around, I need a look.’

‘ _What?_ No!’

‘Cas, how many times do I have to tell you to trust me? Hurry up and spin.’

Cas groaned, but turned around, holding his head in his hands.

‘Yep, hot stuff. You’re gonna dazzle him and it’ll be all thanks to me.’

‘Yes, thank you, Charlie,’ Cas said, quickly turning back around. ‘What should I do with my hair?’

‘Leave it. It’s fine the way it is. Besides, you could never tame it without it looking like you dumped a bucket of hair gel on your head.’

‘I suppose.’ Just then, Cas heard the unmistakable sound of Dean’s car outside and his heart leapt. ‘That’s him, I have to go.’

‘Okay, have a great time! You’re gonna be amazing.’

‘Thanks, Charlie.’

She hung up the call just as Dean knocked on the door.

Cas ran his hands through his hair and quickly threw his robe into the bedroom before opening the door.

Dean’s eyebrows shot up when he saw how Cas was dressed, and whistled. _{You look great}_

_{Thank you}_

_{Who picked it out for you?}_

_{C-h-a-r-l-i-e. She says I have terrible fashion sense and thought I might wear that gray sweater}_

_{You do have terrible fashion sense, but that sweater isn’t so bad}_

Cas blinked in surprise.

 _{It’s cute}_ Dean shrugged. _{Let’s go. After you}_

Cas went to Dean’s car and climbed into the passenger seat, which was just as comfortable as it always was.

 _{Don’t fall asleep}_ Dean teased as he got in. _{We’re not going far. There’s a great grill and bar across town}_ He pulled away, slowly driving through the town and past the bakery. He glanced at Cas a few times. _{R U N-R-V-S?}_ he asked.

‘Yes. I am. Very,’ Cas admitted.

Dean turned a corner and the restaurant appeared in front of them. _{Me too}_

They parked the car and walked into the building. It was warm and welcoming, with the general sound of chatter and the grill sizzling. A girl with a ponytail bounced over to them.

‘Good evening and welcome to the Huntsman - hey, Dean! Back again, huh?’

Dean nodded.

The girl looked Cas up and down. ‘Well, you’re not Sam.’

‘Oh, no, I’m Cas.’

‘Like Cas from that sweet little bakery in town?’

‘Yes, that one.’

‘I love that place! Okay, I’m gonna get you guys a _great_ table, come with me.’ The girl turned on her heel and led them through the restaurant. She sat them down at a table for two, next to a window. They could see an expansive garden, with a river flowing along the bottom of it.

‘All righty, guys, I’m Maddie, and I’ll be your server tonight. I’ll give you a minute to browse our menu, but I think Dean’s already got his eye on his usual order.’ She walked away, back through the tables.

 _{I didn’t know this was here}_ Cas signed as they sat down.

_{What? I thought you’ve lived here for years?}_

_{I have, but I don’t go anywhere. Except the park sometimes}_

_{I suppose that means I’ll have to take you everywhere. Sorry, I don’t make the rules}_

Cas laughed. _{I think that’s a good idea. I’m very…}_ He couldn’t think of the signs he needed. ‘I’m very under-travelled,’ he said out loud.

Dean laughed, then grabbed them a menu each. _{I come here a lot with S-a-m}_ he explained. _{All the staff try really hard to help me. Some of them started learning to sign too}_

_{That’s great. Why don’t you show me what’s good?}_

_{With pleasure}_ Dean grinned. He opened it out and pointed at a few different dishes. _{I usually go for the burger. They have the best burgers here}_ Dean looked up at him. _{But you seem like more of a utensils guy. Plus we can’t talk if we’re both holding burgers}_ he joked. _{S-a-m says the chicken salad is nice, but I wouldn’t know, I never eat salad}_

_{You never eat salad?}_

_{No. I had it once when I was a kid and I was scarred for life}_ Dean signed with an amused smirk. _{That’s actually the reason I can’t talk. The lettuce killed my vocal chords}_

 _{That is highly inaccurate, D-e-a-n, your vocal chords clearly still work]_ Cas joked back. _{The lettuce only caused emotional damage}_

They both dissolved into a laughing fit until Maddie the server bounced back over.

‘Ooh, looks like we’re already having a good time over here,’ she said. ‘How are you guys doing, you ready to order?’

Dean nodded and pointed to some things on the menu.

 _‘_ Okay, so that’s a mac and cheese with a side of sweet potato fries and a beer, gotcha. How about you?’

‘I think I’ll have the chicken salad and some sparkling water,’ Cas said.

‘Okay, guys, it won’t be long at all, and just give me a shout if you need anything.’ She left again, her ponytail swishing merrily.

 _{Sparkling water?}_ Dean asked, his nose wrinkled.

 _{What? I like water and…}_ He sighed. ‘There are so many words I don’t know. The carbonation. I like water and carbonation. Putting them together just makes sense.’

Dean looked incredulous. _{You’re so weird}_

_{I spend most of my time in silence, mixing the same ingredients over and over again. The mind wanders. It gets weird}_

_{Makes sense. You’ve been baking a long time. How did you get into that?}_

Cas shrugged. _{There aren’t many options when you fail out of high school}_

Dean’s eyes widened. _{You failed high school? No way. I don’t believe that at all}_

_{It’s true}_

_{What happened?}_

_{By the time I figured out that I’m gay, I already knew my parents were extremely prejudiced. There may have been some flying off the rails. Just a little}_

_{That was a lot sadder than I was expecting, I’m sorry}_

Cas waved it off. _{It’s fine. It was a long time ago}_

Dean thought for a minute, then a sly smile tugged at his lips. _{How off the rails are we talking?}_ he asked.

Cas rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. _{There was blue hair involved}_

Dean snorted. _{There better be pictures of that}_

_{No. All destroyed by my parents most likely}_

_{I bet C-h-a-r-l-i-e has some}_ Dean smirked.

_{You wouldn’t}_

_{I would}_

Just then, Maddie returned with their dishes. ‘Okay, guys, here we go. One chicken salad, and one mac and cheese with a side of sweet potato fries. I’ll be right back with your drinks.’

 _{This looks great}_ Cas signed, taking in the salad in front of him. It was made with crisp spinach and lettuce, pecans, celery, and a generous amount of grilled chicken.

 _{Enjoy your death leaves while I eat some real people food}_ Dean teased, digging into his mac and cheese. _{So baking?}_ he asked with his mouth full.

_{There wasn’t much to do when I was living with C-h-a-r-l-i-e. She told me I needed to find something to do to take my mind off other things. At first I just tried cupcakes, and then I obsessively made multiple batches of them every day for about a week. I was not a functional human being. I barely am now but at least now I can make money from it.}_

Dean chuckled. _{Sounds like you could use some therapy. I can hook you up}_

_{That would be a good idea if I had the time. I’ll probably just let it fester}_

_{Why do you even know the sign for fester?}_

Cas shrugged. _{How is your therapy going?}_

_{It’s up and down. We got stuck last time. I’ll figure it out though}_

_{That’s good. Was S-a-m excited to hear you talk?}_

Dean shook his head, taking another bite of his food. _{I haven’t spoken to him yet}_

_{Why not?}_

Dean hesitated. _{It’s harder with him. Every time I try, I can’t think of the right words}_

 _{Why do you need the right words?}_ Cas waited patiently for Dean’s answer.

_{S-a-m’s been waiting for me to talk for a long time. I don’t want to disappoint him}_

Cas took a bite of his chicken. _{Maybe I don’t know S-a-m as well as you do, but I think he would be happy to hear you say anything}_

_{But what if I don’t say anything?}_

_{He’s your brother. He loves you. He would never be disappointed in you for not talking}_

_{I wish I was as confident about that as you are}_

_{You will be eventually. When you’re ready}_

_{That’s sweet of you}_ Dean smiled.

Maddie came over briefly and refilled Cas’s drink for him, then placed down another plate of fries for them with a wink.

 _{How is the current S-a-m situation?}_ Cas asked.

Dean groaned. _{I haven’t… I don’t know what to tell him. I’ve never… I don’t know what this is}_

Cas nodded. _{You’ve never felt anything for a man before. I understand. It can be confusing}_

_{Was it like that for you?}_

‘Oh,’ Cas said in surprise.

 _{If you don’t mind}_ Dean signed hurriedly.

_{There wasn’t a big realisation for me. As I said, I already knew how my parents felt about the subject, so I repressed it a lot until I couldn’t anymore}_

_{What happened?}_ Dean asked.

_{A lot of house parties. I kept it away from my parents but there were rumours. They were fine as long as they could deny it, but then they caught me with the neighbor’s son in my bedroom}_

Dean’s expression was sympathetic.

 _{You’ve never felt anything at all before?}_ asked Cas.

_{I don’t know. Maybe. I’ve never thought about it before. I want to be sure before I talk to S-a-m}_

Cas nodded.

_{I know that I like you}_

They both blushed, then Maddie returned. ‘Can I get you guys any desserts?’ she asked.

 _{What do you think?}_ Cas asked Dean, flustered.

 _{If you want. S-a-m and I usually just go to you but since you’re here}_ Dean joked.

‘What do you recommend?’ Cas asked Maddie.

‘The sundaes are always good, but I’m a huge fan of the cheesecake too.’

Dean pointed at his menu.

‘Okay one chocolate brownie sundae, and for you?’

‘I’ll have the honeycomb, thank you.’

‘Great! I’ll let the chef know the pressure’s on,’ Maddie laughed.

‘You don’t have to do that.’

‘Don’t be silly! Chef loves your food. We all bring him stuff from your bakery all the time. He would definitely want to know. All right, do you guys need any more drinks? Dean?’

Dean nodded and she took his empty bottle.

 _{Aren’t you popular}_ Dean laughed.

Cas grinned and finished off his glass of water.

_{You know, I think it’s about time you had a sign-name}_

_{You think so?}_

_{Definitely}_

_{Any ideas?}_

Dean looked him over critically, then smiled. _{How about this?}_ He made the sign for “C” and rolled it into the sign for “Thursday”. _{What do you think?}_

_{I like it. Do you and S-a-m have them?}_

_{Yes, we just spell it out when we’re with you, so you know what we’re talking about. This is S-a-m’s}_ Dean made the sign for “S” the brought his other hand through it to make the sign for “Tall”.

Cas copied it until Dean was satisfied he was getting it right.

 _{This is the one Sam uses for me}_ He made a “D” sign next to his cheek, then touched it briefly with four fingers, as a variation of “Freckles”

Cas copied that one as well.

 _{It’s good to see you use my name}_ Dean signed. He leaned back in his chair comfortably while Cas practiced their names.

 _{Thank you for showing it to me. Thank you for mine}_ Cas signed back.

Dean’s gaze intensified, and Cas felt Dean’s leg gently press against his.

Cas tensed, his heart fluttering, but they were once again interrupted by Maddie, bringing them their desserts and a refill for Cas.  

Dean’s leg twitched, but he didn’t move it away.

‘Enjoy!’ Maddie said, noticing nothing.

Cas looked at his dessert and shook his head in mock disappointment.

 _{What?}_ Dean asked.

 _{Whipped cream from a can is cheating}_ Cas explained.

 _{Of course}_ Dean nodded seriously, scooping out a large spoonful of his ice-cream.

_{It’s good though. How is yours?}_

_{Awesome}_ Dean signed, followed by a thumbs-up. He went to eat another spoonful, but he dropped some on his shirt.

‘I got it,’ Cas laughed, grabbing a napkin. He dipped it in his water and dabbed at the ice-cream.

Dean reached out and rubbed Cas’s arm while Cas cleaned him up.

 _{This thing is soft}_ Dean signed in surprise, before going back to holding Cas’s arm.

‘Charlie will be pleased to hear it,’ Cas said quietly, not wanting to move his arm away.

Dean reluctantly went back to his ice-cream.

Cas tried his as well and was pleasantly surprised by the light taste of honey, having expected it to be a lot thicker. He ate half of it, but couldn’t finish it, so he waited patiently for Dean to finish his.

 _{You ever think about doing ice-creams?}_ Dean asked.

_{No. Can’t bake ice-cream}_

Dean hastily yanked his notepad out of his pocket and scrawled on it. He passed it to Cas.

‘Touché,’ Cas laughed, reading ‘Baked Alaska’ on Dean’s notepad.

Dean looked around the room and gestured Maddie over.

‘Did you guys have a good time?’ she asked, picking up their sundae glasses.

‘Yes, thank you,’ Cas said.

‘Can I get you anything else, or are you guys good for the night?’

Cas looked Dean.

 _{I’m good if you are}_ Dean signed.

Cas nodded. ‘No thanks, we’ve finished.’

‘Okay, I’ll just get you the bill.’

While they were waiting for her, they both pulled out their wallets, then stared at each other awkwardly.

‘You want to split it?’ Cas suggested eventually.

 _{Works for me}_ Dean shrugged.

Maddie brought them their bill and they put down their money, along with a generous tip for her.

‘Goodnight guys,’ Maddie said cheerfully.

They walked slowly out to the car, Dean’s hand creeping around Cas’s waist as they did so.

 _{How do you think this went?}_ Dean asked nervously once they’d reached the car.

 _{I think it went well}_ Cas signed, smiling reassuringly.

 _{Good}_ Dean grinned, opening the passenger door for him.

Dean swung the car around and pulled out of the parking lot. He didn’t sign anything while they were driving, but he rested his hand on Cas’s knee for most of the short journey. He stopped at the end of Cas’s street and walked him to his door.

 _{We should do this again}_ Cas signed. He got out his keys and unlocked his front door, but then Dean grabbed his arm and turned him around.

‘Cas,’ he said out loud, sending a shiver down Cas’s spine.

‘What?’ Cas said, goosebumps forming on his arms.

Before Cas could react, Dean moved forward and pressed his lips into Cas’s.

His lips were softer than Cas had expected, but he leaned into it, clutching the front of Dean’s shirt with both hands.

One of Dean’s hands found its way to Cas’s waist again, just over his tattoo, and the other ran through his hair.

Everything was silent except for their breathing, and Cas could hear his heart thumping. For a moment, he thought he could feel Dean’s beneath his fingers, but then Dean pulled away.

They both stood, breathless and staring.

 _{Too much?}_ Dean asked, his fingers shaking.

‘I - no - I-’ Cas stammered. He stared at Dean a few moments more, then kissed him again.

Dean was a little more forceful this time, making Cas take a few steps backwards until he was pressed against the wall of his apartment. Cas pulled him closer by the hips, Dean’s belt bumping against his fingers.

Dean slowly stopped, though he didn’t move away, instead hanging his head beside Cas’s, breathing heavily in his ear.

Cas looked up. ‘Would you like to come inside?’ he murmured.

Dean nodded, followed Cas into the apartment and waited for him to lock the front door.

Cas then took his hand and led him to his bedroom, slamming the door behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to KAL and snips92 for the comments.  
> Thanks again for reading and I'll see you next week!


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Cas woke up the next morning and lazily rolled over. It was still early, but there was a little light to see in. Dean was still peacefully asleep and Cas gazed at him for a while, hardly daring to believe what had happened.

Dean’s eyelids flickered open briefly at the movement.

‘Go back to sleep,’ Cas whispered.

Dean mumbled something unintelligible and quickly dozed back off.

Cas gently slipped out of the bed and put on the robe he’d thrown into the room the night before, leaving a spare one out for Dean, in case he wanted it.

Gracie was waiting for him outside, her tail held upright in annoyance.

‘I know, I know. I’m sorry,’ Cas said to her, going over to the kitchen counter and pulling her food out of the cabinet.

She hopped up next to him, yowling indignantly.

‘Relax,’ he murmured. ‘I’m doing it already.’ He put the bowl down and she shoved her face into it, purring loudly. ‘Don’t think I didn’t hear you yelling out here last night,’ he said to her. ‘Not cool.’

She flicked her tail in response, but didn’t pause her eating.

Just then, Dean came out of the bedroom, wrapped in the robe, arms folded.

Cas smiled, but Dean didn’t return it, instead avoiding his eyes.

‘Are you okay?’ Cas asked, his smile falling away.

Dean nodded, then went into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. Soon after, Cas heard the shower switch on.

He tried to push down the nervousness fluttering in his chest, and wrote out a grocery list while he waited for Dean to emerge.

Gracie remained sitting on the counter after she finished eating, keeping Cas company, and somewhat calm.

Dean crept out of the bathroom, still avoiding looking at Cas, and went to get dressed.

Cas attempted to continue his list, but ended up just doodling while he waited again. He paced around the living room and watched the fish for a while, until Dean finally came out of the bedroom.

‘What’s wrong?’ Cas asked.

 _{Nothing}_ Dean signed hurriedly. _{I have to go. Sam needs me for something}_ He rushed out of the front door, ignoring both Gracie and Cas’s attempts at getting his attention.

With nothing else to do on his day off, Cas went to the store, this time taking a taxi instead of his bike, but didn’t realise until he’d gotten it back to the bakery that he’d accidentally bought a sack of pears instead of apples. He slung it into the store cupboard, annoyed, and texted Dean, but got no response.

He sighed and went home again and set about cleaning up his bedroom. Gracie followed him around as he did so, which he appreciated, seeing as she usually slept through most of the day when he was around.

At the end of the day he went to bed irritated and anxious, with his phone switched on and sitting next to him on the bedside table.

 

The next morning at the bakery was quiet, except for a visit from Mrs Holden.

‘Good morning, my dear,’ she said, shuffling through the door.

‘Hello, Mrs Holden,’ Cas smiled. ‘Can I get you a poppy seed muffin?’

‘I would love that.’ Her voice was just scratchy as it always was, but it had a certain warmth. ‘Is everything all right? You seem a little down today.’

Cas’s smile widened. ‘I’m completely fine, Mrs Holden, don’t you worry about a thing.’

‘All right, dear, here’s your two dollars.’ She passed the money to him and he held out the bag. ‘You’ve such a lovely face,’ Mrs Holden told him, ‘and that smile makes it even lovelier.’

‘Thank you very much.’

‘Bye, dear, I’ll see you soon.’ She shuffled back out.

Cas checked his phone again and sighed. Still nothing.

The day dragged by until late afternoon. Cas was just beginning to close and was sweeping up the crumbs on the floor, when the front door opened. Cas turned, but before he could say anything, he was pulled into a crushing hug.

‘Sam?’ he said, voice muffled by the shoulder he was being pressed into.

‘This is the part where you hug me back,’ Sam said.

‘Oh.’ Cas hesitantly wrapped his arms around Sam until he pulled away.

When he did, Cas noticed that he had tears in his eyes, but he was grinning from ear to ear.

‘What’s going on?’ Cas asked.

Sam wiped his eyes. ‘It’s Dean, he - he spoke to me. _Out loud.’_

 _‘_ That’s amazing, Sam.’

‘He told me that you helped him. I don’t know what you said, but whatever it was, thank you. Thank you so much.’ Sam hugged him again. ‘I can’t believe it. He didn’t say much, and his voice is way deeper than it used to be, but still…’

‘Is he okay?’ Cas asked. ‘I’m sure that would have been difficult for him.’

‘Yeah, he’s been a little off today, but he always freaks out a bit if he forgets to take his meds, so he’ll be fine as soon as he calms down.’

‘He forgot to take his meds?’

‘Yeah, he was out last night and forgot to take them with him. Don’t worry about it though.’

Cas nodded, a weight lifting off his shoulders.

‘Anyway, I gotta go, can I grab a coffee and some cookies?’

‘Oh, yes, of course.’

Cas wrapped up the cookies while Sam got himself a coffee.

‘Are you okay, Cas?’ Sam asked. ‘You seem kinda jumpy.’

‘I’m fine,’ Cas said hastily.

Sam narrowed his eyes but didn’t question any further. ‘Well, see you later, Cas. Thanks again.’ Sam paid and left the shop.

Cas sighed in relief and continued closing. Dean still hadn’t texted back, but Cas was willing to wait.

 

By Wednesday, Cas had heard nothing, nor had Dean been to the bakery, and Cas’s worry returned. He paced around the bakery, while Alfie watched in amusement. There were few customers and Alfie quickly dealt with the ones that did come in, allowing Cas to think about other things.

Eventually, however, Alfie needed to get Cas’s attention, and it took several attempts.

‘ _Cas,’_ he said loudly.

‘Hmm?’

‘Cas, the register’s broken.’

‘What?’

‘It’s broken. I can’t get it open.’

Cas went over to the register and felt down the side for the right spot and smacked it, but nothing happened. He tried it a few more times, and pressed some of the buttons, but still nothing.

‘This is what you get for keeping a register from the 80s,’ Alfie said. ‘Do you even still have the manual?’

‘There was never a manual. This register was already here.’ He lifted it up to look for any sort of reset button.

‘Do you have the key for it?’

‘No.’

‘Wait a minute, you don’t have a key for the register?’ Alfie said, aghast. ‘Don’t you lock it?’

‘No. I empty it and put everything in the safe, which does have a key.’

‘Well, what now?’

Cas went into one of the cabinets and pulled out an address book. Most of the contacts had been written in by Charlie, and he found one labelled ‘REGISTER GUY’. ‘I suppose he’ll be the one to call.’

‘Helpfully labelled, I see.’

Cas sighed. ‘You might as well go home, Alfie. I’ll have to close until the register’s working.’

Alfie shrugged. ‘All right. I got a new commission so I might as well get a head start on it. See you later.’

Cas dialled the number.

‘This is Jacob Harris, what can I do for you?’

‘Yes, hello, I have your number for register repairs?’ Cas said.

‘Oh, are you the guy from that bakery?’

‘Yes, that’s me.’

The man on the phone chuckled. ‘Yeah, Charlie told me about you. Your register broke?’

‘Yes,’ Cas said, a slight suspicious tone to his voice.

‘Don’t worry about it, man. Listen, I’m busy right now, but I can be down there in about two hours, that work for you?’

‘I-’

‘Cool, see you then.’ Jacob hung up the phone and Cas switched the sign on the front door from ‘open’ to ‘closed’.

He wandered around the bakery aimlessly for a while, wondering whether or not he would have time to reopen once the register was fixed, or if he should take his extra food to the shelter now. As always, his thoughts eventually drifted to Dean. Though there was still no word from him, Cas realised that he suddenly had a fair amount of time on his hands that he didn’t usually have. He smiled and set to work on a fresh pie, a vague idea of visiting Dean in his mind. It was almost finished by the time Jacob arrived.

Cas let him in, but was dismayed when he pulled a whole new register out of his car.

‘What is this?’ Cas demanded.

‘It’s - a new - register,’ Jacob puffed, dropping it onto the counter.

‘But I-’

‘Sorry, man, but yours is a lost cause. I took a look at it before you moved in and it’s basically a dinosaur. This is it for this register. I’ll get your cash out, so don’t worry. It’ll take me a little while to set this new one up though, so do whatever you want for a while.’

Cas hesitated, but he could smell that the pie was finished, so he left Jacob to it and carefully pulled it out of the oven. ‘Will you be all right here on your own?’ he asked Jacob while he waited for it to cool. ‘I have to go out.’

‘Yeah, whatever,’ Jacob said without looking up.

Cas packed up the pie and walked out into the fresh air. He knew that the mechanic wasn’t far, so he walked until he smelled oil. It was grimy, as expected, and Cas walked into what he assumed was the reception area, though it was no more than a three-walled shack with a desk in it.

There was a man sitting behind the desk, leaning back in his chair with his hat over his face.

‘Excuse me?’ Cas said politely.

The man peeked out from under his hat, looking Cas up and down disdainfully, but didn’t say anything.

‘I’m looking for Dean Winchester. Is he here?’      

The man looked him up and down, then grabbed a radio from his desk drawer. ‘Winchester, get in here,’ he said into it. ‘That queer from the bakery wants to see you.’

Cas nearly dropped his pie, and his blood ran cold. His eyes darted around, checking that his way was clear and preparing to bolt.

Then Dean came around the corner, flustered, sweating, and covered in grease.

Cas smiled, but the smile was gone as soon as he saw the expression on Dean’s face.

 _{What are you doing here?}_ Dean demanded.

‘I-’

_{Go away}_

‘What?’                                                 

_{You can’t be here. Get out}_

‘But-’ Cas’s eye was caught by a group of men, not far behind Dean. There were four of them, and they were all laughing, holding each other up and pointing at Cas. Cas looked from them, to Dean, to the man behind the desk. ‘I see,’ he said quietly. He pushed past Dean, and the howling laughter followed him all the way out.

He fled all the way back to the bakery. It wasn’t until he got inside that he realised he’d dropped the pie at some point.

Jacob was still working on the register, so Cas went through to the back of the kitchen. Unable to just close and go home while Jacob was still there, Cas tore down a stack of boxes that were blocking a door.

It was dusty and dark in the old room, but the bed was still there, so he slumped down on it and buried his head in his hands.

He didn’t hear it at first, since he’d switched his phone to silent, but his phone had been vibrating in his pocket for some time. He pulled it out and answered it, forgetting to check who was calling.

‘ _Castiel!’_

 _‘_ Mom…’

‘ _I’m glad to hear your voice again, Castiel. I was thinking, maybe I could send you some new recipes-’_

 _‘_ Mom.’

‘ _Gabriel says he’ll show me how to do email. Do you have email? I have a lot of ideas-’_

 _‘_ Mom,’ Cas said more firmly. ‘I can’t talk right now.’

‘ _Wait a minute, you sound odd. Is something wrong?’_

‘No, Mom,’ Cas’s chin wobbled. ‘Nothing’s wrong, I just-’ He bit down on his lip and hoped she couldn’t tell that tears had started pouring down his cheeks. ‘I just can’t talk right now. Please, Mom…’

She was silent for a moment. ‘ _All right, Castiel. I’ll call you next week. And we’ll talk about some recipes then.’_

‘Thanks, Mom.’

She hung up, and Cas put his phone on the bed, then curled up a little. He didn’t get a chance to hide for long. Soon, he could hear Jacob calling his name, so he hastily wiped his face and went back out to the front of the shop.

‘Okay, it’s all done,’ Jacob said without looking at him. ‘Your instructions are on the counter and I’ll take this old one for you. See ya.’

Jacob hauled the old register out of the door and he was gone.

Cas took one look at the new register, sighed, and decided he would figure it out the next day. He locked up the bakery and went home to cuddle with Gracie, though sleep eluded him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to Kamera, Suchafangirl23, KAL, Queen0fHearts, Sweet_Tooth_Cosplays, snips92 and twistedshadows for the comments!  
> Hope you all enjoyed it and I'll see you again next week.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Dean avoided entering the bakery for the next few weeks, but whenever Cas saw him in other places, he felt a sharp jolt in his chest and he would hold his breath until Dean was gone.

Similarly, whenever Dean saw Cas, he would scowl and look away. A few times Cas thought he saw a hint of guilt on Dean’s face, but he realised it was just wishful thinking.

The days passed and eventually Cas’s hurt curdled into a boiling anger, with his frustration at his new register as the catalyst.

Logically, he knew that it should be easy enough, but he was too easily confused by the touch screen and all the functions he wasn’t used to. Alfie attempted to help, but in Cas’s current state of mind, he wasn’t able to take in what Alfie was saying to him.

Even Charlie tried to ask him what was going on, but after telling her he didn’t want to talk about it, he switched off his phone and hid it underneath the register. Alfie saw him do it, but said nothing.

Cas threw himself into his baking and did almost nothing else, though he was a little too forceful with his utensils and broke several of them, which only served to anger him further. He only went home to make sure Gracie was fed and watered, and slept in the back room of the bakery. It was an all too familiar feeling being in the back room again, and he tried his best to ignore it. He couldn’t face sleeping in his own bed, or even the spare, so he convinced himself that it would be easier staying in the bakery.

 

Sam too noticed the sudden change in both Cas and Dean’s demenours, and went to both of them trying to figure it out, but neither would say anything. He would drop by the bakery on some afternoons and pick up food for him and Dean. Sometimes Dean waited outside, and it was on one of these afternoons that Cas snapped.

He was already irritated by the register. He hadn’t been able to make it work properly all afternoon, so by the time Sam came in, he had given up and was attempting to decorate some cupcakes, but most of the frosting was just coming out in blobs rather than the neat pattern he normally liked.

‘Hello, Sam,’ he said when Sam came in, without looking up from his cupcakes.

‘Hey, Cas. Is it cool if I grab some coffee?’

Cas shrugged, which Sam took as a yes.

‘Are you okay?’ Sam asked, waiting for the machine to fill his cup.

Cas shrugged again but didn’t say anything.

Sam sighed and went back around the counter with his coffee.

Both of them jumped when a horn blasted outside and Cas gritted his teeth.

‘Ah, yeah, Dean’s waiting outside,’ Sam said sheepishly.

‘I see,’ said Cas.

‘Okay, so I’m after a few of these muffins.’

Cas nodded and started bagging up some blueberry muffins, the horn outside blasting again as he did so.

‘All right, and some cookies, as always,’ Sam said, attempting to keep his tone light. ‘And I think Dean will have-’

The horn blasted again, and Cas dropped the cookies.

Sam watched him apprehensively.

‘Tell Dean,’ he said in a low growl, ‘that if he wants something, he can come in here and get it himself.’

‘That’s it,’ Sam said, dumping his muffins on the counter. ‘I’ve had enough of this.’ He left the bakery, and came back a moment later with Dean in tow.

Cas’s stomach lurched horribly at the sight of him.

 _{What is your problem?}_ Dean asked him, signing angrily.

 _{I’m not the one with the problem}_ Cas retorted.

‘All right, stop it,’ Sam said, grabbing Cas’s keys from behind the counter. ‘I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but you better figure it out, ‘cause I can’t take any more of whatever this is.’ He walked over to the door. ‘I’ve got stuff to do, so I’m locking you guys in here until you work it out.’

‘ _Sam!’_

‘Cas, it’s the end of the day. The only customers you get at this time are me and Dean. If there’s a fire or something, I’ll pay for any windows you need to smash. You’ve got two hours.’

Sam left and locked the door, giving them a pleasant wave on his way past.

They watched him go in silence. Cas looked at Dean, but sighed when Dean stared resolutely at his shoes with his arms folded.

He went out into the kitchen and began packing away the leftovers. He didn’t hear Dean come in behind him and jumped when Dean put a hand on his back. Cas thought he was angry, but it all melted away when he looked Dean in the face. Instead, and perhaps more annoyingly, tears rushed to his eyes and he bit his lip to keep them down. He shrugged Dean’s hand off, moving away.

Dean sighed.

Cas decided to go first. _{What happened?}_ he asked. _{I thought things were going well}_

 _{I don’t know}_ Dean signed. _{I got too in my head about what I would say to Sam, and then you showed up at work. I didn’t want any of them to say something to you. I panicked. I’m sorry}_

_{Wait, you’re not angry with me?}_

_{No, of course not}_

_{You’ve been avoiding me}_

A hint of a smile tugged at the corners of Dean’s mouth. _{I assumed you wouldn’t want to see me after that incident}_

Cas exhaled and leant against one of the counters. He ran a hand through his hair. _{I would have understood. You should have talked to me. It hurt me that you didn’t}_

_{I know I should have. I couldn’t. I got scared. I’m sorry}_

_{You aren’t ready. I understand. I wish you had told me because I’m okay with just being the one with a crush. I’ve been that many times before}_

Dean shifted around for a moment, then _{I’m not okay with that}_

_{What?}_

_{I’m not okay with not being with you}_

Cas froze, not quite able to believe what Dean was saying, even as he took a step closer.

 _{I thought about it a lot. I want to be with you. I’ll talk to Sam)_ He came even closer, lifted Cas’s chin with a finger and kissed him.

Cas allowed himself a moment to enjoy it, then pulled away slightly. ‘I need you to be sure,’ he said into Dean’s shoulder. ‘I can’t go through this again.’

Dean squeezed him tightly. ‘I’m sure,’ he whispered in Cas’s ear. He kissed Cas on the forehead, and this time, Cas didn’t stop him when he went for the mouth.

All the fluttering and tingling he’d felt before returned, and he tentatively put his hands on Dean’s waist.

Dean reluctantly pulled away. _{How long until Sam comes back?}_ he asked.

Cas checked his watch. _{Just over an hour}_

_{Will that be enough time?}_

Cas cocked his head. _{For what?}_

Dean grinned slyly and Cas flushed.

‘Oh.’

_{I won’t freak out this time, I promise}_

‘Dean-’ Before Cas could argue, Dean had grabbed him with both hands and lifted him up onto the counter. ‘You’re getting flour all over my pants,’ he complained.

_{That’s a shame. You might have to take them off}_

‘Dean-’

But Dean interrupted him again by kissing him on the neck, eliciting a shocked gasp.

‘Not in here, not in here,’ Cas stammered as Dean’s hands began to wander. ‘There’s a room back there…’

Dean looked over his shoulder at the door while Cas hopped down from the counter. Dean kissed him fiercely once more, then took his hand and pulled him into the back room.

 

When Sam returned, Dean was helping Cas clean up the kitchen.

‘Putting him to work, huh? I like it,’ Sam grinned. ‘You guys work it out?’

Cas and Dean glanced at each other.

‘Yes, I think we did,’ Cas smiled.

‘Awesome. Dean, you ready to go?’

Dean bit his lip. _{Actually, I want to say something}_

 _{Now?}_ Cas signed, eyes widening.

 _{What’s going on?}_ Sam asked.

Dean nodded. _{Now}_ he confirmed.

Cas turned away and pretended to scrub down the counter to give them some privacy. He heard Dean take a deep breath, then, a minute later, a soft gasp from Sam.

‘Thank _God!’_ Sam exclaimed, beginning to laugh.

Cas’s turned around again and saw Sam grinning widely, and Dean looking confused.

‘What?’ said Cas.

Sam laughed harder. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t mean to ruin this for you, but you guys are not subtle. At all.’

 _{What do you mean?}_ Dean signed.

_{Please. Cas is the worst liar on the planet, no offense. Also, a few weeks ago, you came home wearing his sweater. You know, that ugly gray one?}_

‘Wait, you have that?’ Cas said.

Dean turned pink. _{I like it}_ he signed defensively. _{I didn’t mean to take it. I was in a hurry}_

Sam shook his head. ‘Whatever makes you happy, man.’ He pulled Dean into a tight hug. ‘I love you, no matter what.’ Sam let him go, then wiped his eyes a little. There was a moment’s silence, then. ‘So, you two are…?’ He gestured at them.

‘Uh…’ Cas looked at Dean uncertainly.

Dean blinked, squeezed Cas’s hand with one of his, and signed _{Yes}_ with the other. Then he dropped Cas’s hand and flushed an even darker shade. _{If that’s okay with you}_ He said to Cas.

_{Sure, if you give me back my sweater}_

Dean laughed. _{Seems like a fair deal to me}_

Sam shook his head. ‘You know, this was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. I thought I was gonna have to lock you in here overnight.’

‘As much as I appreciate it, Sam, I’m going to need you to not do that again. You violated a lot of regulations and I could get in trouble for that,’ Cas chastised, holding his hand out for his keys.

Sam gave them back. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘It was a spur of the moment thing.’

Cas tucked them safely in his pocket.

‘All right, I gotta go home,’ Sam said. ‘I need a nap, or something. You coming, or you staying here?’ he asked Dean.

_{I’m going to stay and help get all this stuff over to the shelter}_

_{Okay. See you later}_ He gave them another huge grin and exited the kitchen.

Once he was gone, Dean let out a huge sigh and sank to the ground.

‘Are you okay?’ Cas said in alarm, kneeling beside him.

Dean didn’t answer for a minute, then started laughing giddily. _{I’m fine}_ he signed, though his hands were shaking so hard, it was difficult to discern what he was saying. _{Give me a minute}_

Cas sat down, cross-legged, and held Dean’s hand while he calmed down.

Eventually, he signed for water and Cas scrambled to get a glass for him. He took a few long gulps from it, then set it on the ground.

 _{Are you sure you’re okay?}_ Cas asked. _{You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready}_

 _{I think I’m the one that decides when I’m ready}_ Dean said. _{It was scary before, but you help with that anyway}_ Dean looked at him thoughtfully. _{Let’s go on another date next Saturday. Maybe it’ll help you feel better about this}_

Cas smiled. _{Let’s do that}_

They stood up and dusted themselves off. _{What about those men at your work? What if they see us? What if-}_

Dean held up a finger and interrupted him. _{I don’t care about them anymore. They’re not worth the effort}_

 _{That doesn’t sound like you}_ Cas teased.

_{My therapist helped me see it that way}_

_{I’m glad you have a therapist that helps you this much}_ He picked up the bag with the leftovers in and exited the bakery.

Dean locked the door for him, and walked past his car, to the shelter, then walked Cas home.

 _{Tell G-r-a-c-i-e I say hello}_ Dean grinned.

Cas looked at his front door, then, ‘Dean, wait.’

_{What?}_

_{Will you help me sleep again tonight?}_

_{Of course I will}_ He brushed his lips against Cas’s lightly. _{It’s not my place, but I’m worried about you}_ he signed hesitantly. _{I think you should see a doctor soon}_

Cas nodded. _{You’re right. I’ll make an appointment}_

 _{Good}_ Dean kissed him again. _{I’ll see you later}_

_{Bye, Dean}_

He walked back up the street with a slight spring in his step.

Cas leaned heavily against his door once he was inside. It had been a long day, and he still couldn’t quite believe it had actually happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone. Thanks to Suchafangirl23, Kamera, bslove17, ShippingTrash4Life, KAL, Queen0fHearts and Lady_Lola for the comments!  
> See you again next week.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Cas stared apprehensively at the little brown bottle sitting on his kitchen counter, with his cheek resting on his hand.

Gracie was sitting next to it, flicking her tail impatiently. When Cas still didn’t move, she batted the bottle with her paw, knocking it to the ground.

Cas sighed. ‘I feel the same,’ he said, picking it up. It rattled slightly, and he put it down while he fed Gracie.

It had been easy enough to have Alfie watch the bakery while he went for his appointment, but forcing himself to describe his symptoms to the doctor was another story. He had finally been prescribed his medication, but at a lower dosage than before, in an attempt to mitigate the severity of the side effects he’d had last time. He wanted to call Charlie, but he’d left his phone in the bakery again and couldn’t remember how to get Skype to work on his laptop.

‘Screw it,’ he muttered. He popped the cap off and took one of the tiny pills with a glass of water. He fed the fish and rearranged his cabinet of recipe books twice before he finally resigned himself to attempting to sleep. Dean had an early morning the next day, meaning a late-night drive wasn’t an option, so Cas put on the playlist he had used before and went to sleep with that on instead. It wasn’t the worst night he’d ever had, but he was looking forward to it getting better.

The medication wasn’t too bad at first, but after a few days of taking it regularly, the side effects hit him hard. It started with a mild nausea, but by the next Saturday, when he was supposed to be meeting Dean, he was exhausted, ill, and a little dizzy. He thought about making an effort, but only managed to put on one of his nicer sweaters, and couldn’t even get all the flour out of his hair.

Dean took one look at him when he opened the door and grimaced. _{You started your medication?}_

Cas nodded and leaned against the door frame.

_{You’re not hungry at all, are you?}_

_{No}_

_{Have you eaten anything?}_

_{No}_ He could hardly even face being in the bakery that morning, let alone actually eat something.

_{Why don’t I come in and make you something, and you just lie down and take it easy?}_

Cas shook his head. _{I want to go out with you}_

Dean looked around thoughtfully. _{Come back to my place. We can watch a movie and relax}_

_{That sounds nice}_

_{After you}_

Cas stepped out of the door, but remembered he hadn’t taken his pill yet, so he grabbed the bottle and went out to the car.

Dean tried to drive as slowly as possible, but it didn’t help with Cas’s nausea. He wound down the windows and Cas breathed in the fresh air.

Sam and Dean’s place was a lot larger than his own. Spread across two floors instead of just one, the kitchen and living room were open plan like his, and he assumed the bedrooms were upstairs.

The main features of the living room where the decent-sized flat-screen TV, and the large leather couch that was draped in different sorts of blankets and, with a couple of squashy cushions sitting on it.  

Dean sat Cas on it. _{How about this; I’ll make dinner for me, and if you feel like you want any of it, you can take some off my plate, okay?}_

Cas made a face.

_{You have to eat something. Let’s not have a repeat of you passing out}_

Cas sighed. _{I’ll try}_

Dean grinned and turned to the kitchen.

Cas watched him and smiled to himself. ‘You know, I can’t actually cook,’ he said.

Dean gave him a disbelieving look.

‘It’s true. Baking is easy - more a science than anything. All the ingredients are exact and measurable. Real cooking takes more instinct, which I have none of.’

 _{That explains your kitchen}_ Dean teased.

Cas laughed and leaned into the couch while he watched Dean cook. It was a simple meal, consisting of homemade burger and fries. Unfortunately for Cas, the smell just made things worse, so he curled up tightly and tried to fight it.

Once it was finished, Dean pulled out a fold-up stand to put his food on and sat down next to Cas. Dean offered a fry to him, but he shook his head.

‘Where’s Sam?’ he asked.

Dean shrugged. _{Out somewhere. Doing work, I think}_ He picked up the remote and clicked the TV on. _{Do you watch a lot of movies?}_ he asked.

‘Not really.’

Dean stuck his tongue out as he focused on the TV. He stopped on ‘Elf’ and grinned at Cas.

‘You can’t watch Elf when it’s not Christmas, Dean,’ Cas chuckled.

Dean sniggered and moved on. Eventually, he stopped on ‘The Avengers’.

‘You like superheroes?’

Dean nodded enthusiastically, pressed play, and quickly ate his dinner.

Cas managed to eat one of the fries, and then another when Dean beamed at him. He was quite content to sit and watch the movie. He didn’t understand a lot of it, but Dean was more than happy to explain anything to him. Part way through, Dean paused the movie and got up to make popcorn.

 _{If it’s this bad, why don’t you try a different medicine?}_ he asked while waiting for the popcorn to cook.

_{I react badly to most of them. This one isn’t the worst}_

Dean gave him a sympathetic look. _{Will you be okay?}_

 _{I will soon}_ Cas smiled. _{It will settle down eventually}_

 _{Did you take today’s?}_ Dean asked, pointing at the bottle Cas had left on his counter.

Cas shook his head, so Dean brought the bottle over with a glass of water. Cas reluctantly downed it. Once he was finished, Dean sat back down beside him and put an arm around him, then unpaused the movie. Before he knew it, the two of them were closely nestled together on the couch. Cas’s legs were curled underneath him, and he’d leant his head against Dean’s chest. He could faintly hear Dean’s heartbeat, relaxing him even further. He felt his eyelids begin to droop, and the rise and fall of Dean’s steady breathing, combined with the effects of his medicine, gently put him to sleep.

Cas was slow to wake. He was so comfortable that he didn’t want to move. A blanket had been draped over him at some point, and a hand was softly rubbing his back. He wanted to go back to sleep, but a voice caught his ear.

‘That’s adorable,’ it whispered.

There was a shushing sound above him, and Cas realised that he’d turned completely into Dean, his face almost completely buried in Dean’s chest. He felt Dean’s arms move slightly and sighed quietly.

‘Are you seriously watching Butch Cassidy again?’

Dean shushed again, but it was too late.

Cas rolled over and pushed himself up a little. He saw Sam first, who was holding a bottle in his hand, gleefully grinning at them.

‘Hey, Cas,’ he said, containing his laughter.

‘Sam,’ Cas said groggily. He made to sit up, but Dean wouldn’t let him. Sam snorted at this, but Cas was too sleepy to be embarrassed.

‘Please, don’t mind me,’ Sam chuckled. ‘I’m going to bed. Do I need my ear plugs?’

Dean signed something that Cas couldn’t see.

‘All right, I’m going, jeez! Don’t get your panties in a twist.’ Sam went up the stairs, and they could hear him laughing all the way up.

Once they heard his door close, Dean gently moved Cas around until they were facing each other, but so he could still wrap his arms around Cas. By that point, Cas was lying across Dean’s lap. Dean grinned down at him, then bent and kissed him. Cas extricated one of his arms, and reached up to cup Dean’s cheek, feeling the thick, rough stubble beneath his fingers. He smiled and Dean held him close. ‘Are you okay?’ Cas whispered.

Dean nodded and squeezed Cas tighter.

‘Are you sure? You’re kinda crushing me.’

Dean let him go and he sat up next, crossing his legs. _{Sorry}_ Dean signed sheepishly.

_{What’s going on?}_

Dean shrugged. _{I just think you’re beautiful}_

Cas flushed. _{I don’t know if you’ve seen a mirror lately}_ Cas signed back.

_{I’m being serious}_

_{So am I}_

Dean kissed him lightly on the nose, and laughed at his shocked expression. _{I win}_

 _{I wasn’t aware it was a competition}_ Cas signed. _{Otherwise, I would win}_

 _{Is that so?}_ Dean grinned.

 _{I would say so, yes. I’m very stubborn}_ Cas didn’t let Dean sign any further, instead kissing him fiercely. He reached down with both hands and slipped them up Dean’s shirt. His fingers brushed over Dean’s ribs and he yelped and pulled away.

‘What?’

Dean said nothing, but brought Cas’s hands out from under his shirt.

Cas’s eyes widened as he realised what had happened. ‘You’re ticklish.’

Dean shook his head hastily.

‘You are! You’re-’

Dean put a hand over Cas’s mouth and pointed upstairs.

_{Sam doesn’t know? How can Sam not know?}_

_{By being very careful. He will definitely take advantage if he knew}_

Cas sniggered. _{How do you know I won’t?}_

 _{Because there are other, more fun ways of taking advantage of me. But you’re smart enough to know that}_ Dean signed, one eyebrow twitching suggestively.

Cas bit his lip. _{I think I’m too tired to take advantage of anyone tonight}_ he admitted.

Dean smiled at him. _{It’s okay. Do you want to go to sleep?}_

Cas nodded.

 _{Come on, I think I have something you can wear}_ Dean took Cas by the hand and led him upstairs. One of the doors was shut tightly, which must have been Sam’s room, but the other was slightly ajar. Cas felt the slightest moment of hesitation, before Dean pushed open his bedroom door and switched on the light.

The bed sat in the centre of the room, with a thick mattress sitting on the frame. There was only one bedside table that had a lamp and a well-read copy of _The Lord of the Rings_ on it. In the corner of the room was a large dresser and a chair next to it, which was stacked with blankets.

Dean left Cas next to the bed and went to the dresser. He pulled out a few of the drawers, before he found something he thought might be good for Cas to wear. He brought it over to Cas, then began making the bed. _{The bathroom is just on the left out there}_ he told Cas.

‘Thanks.’ Cas went out to the bathroom and got changed into the thin, long-sleeved shirt that Dean had given him. The sleeves were a little too long for him, and the lower hem covered just enough for him to be comfortable.

Back in Dean’s room, Dean was shoving the extra blankets into the lowest drawer of his dresser, and he had changed into what Cas assumed he wore to bed, consisting of a grey t-shirt and red plaid pants.

Dean smirked at him. _{Looking good. Come on}_

Cas went to the bed obediently and allowed Dean to help him under the covers. Dean then slid in beside him. Cas turned to face him, and lay there, staring at Dean until he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to KAL, Kamera, snips92 and claire420 for the comments! Hope you all enjoy the chapter and I'll see you again next week.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Cas stayed at Dean’s for most of Sunday, and returned to his apartment to check on Gracie. He started Monday morning with a warm glow in his chest, and with Dean helping him make some loaves of bread.

He opened the bakery, and put up a sale sign for bread when he realised they’d made too many.

Dean was leaning against the counter and Cas was just about to shoo him away from it again, when the door burst open. In came Alfie, red in the face and extremely distressed.

‘Alfie, what is it?’ Cas said in alarm.

‘Cas!’ he gasped. ‘Your mom-’

‘What about her?’

‘She’s coming.’

‘What? When?’

‘Now!’

‘ _What?’_ Cas’s heart leapt to his throat.

‘She - she said you weren’t answering her calls and she wanted to come check on you.’

‘Did you tell her I was fine?’

‘Of course I did, but she never listens to me.’

Cas wrung his hands trying to collect himself. ‘Okay, it’ll be fine. How long until she gets here?’

‘She called me from the cab, so ten minutes?’

Cas exhaled loudly and found it becoming difficult to breathe. Then he looked at Dean and it got worse. ‘You can’t be here,’ he said in a strangulated tone. ‘You have to go.’

_{I’m not going}_

‘But, Dean-’

_{She’s already called me a guard-dog, what more can she say?}_

‘She can say plenty. Please-’

 _{If she wants to have a relationship with you, then it has to be with all of you, or not at all}_ Dean signed firmly.

‘Dean’s right,’ Alfie said, ‘if I read those signs correctly. If she’s going to come here, then she has to get used to you having guys around.’

 _{Are you sure about this?}_ Cas asked Dean, with shaking hands.

 _{I’d like to know whether she’s serious about this, or if she’s just doing it to make herself feel better}_ He frowned slightly at this.

Cas nodded, and then a car pulled up outside.

‘I’m out of here,’ Alfie said, dashing out of the door, and disappearing just as the car door opened.

Emily got up out of the car, carrying several large bags, and closed the door behind her. The car drove away and Cas gulped. ‘Here we go,’ he whispered.

Emily entered the bakery, looked around, and put all but one of the bags on the ground. ‘Good, you’re all right,’ she said. ‘I was worried.’

‘I just forgot to turn on my phone,’ Cas said weakly.

‘Well, after our last conversation, I thought something was wrong. I brought you a gift.’ She pulled a huge jar out of the bag she was holding and handed it to Cas. ‘This is your grandmother’s sourdough starter. She left it to me, but I never knew what to do with it, and I’ve been having the cook take care of it. I didn’t know if you had your own, but I thought you might like it regardless.’

Despite himself, Cas held it up to eye-level, fascinated. ‘How old is it?’ he asked.

‘I’m not sure exactly, but I think it’s around nineteen years old. She was an old-fashioned woman, to say the least.’

‘Wow.’ He set it down on the counter, and Dean caught his eye. He cleared his throat. ‘Mom, you remember Dean?’

‘Of course.’ She walked over to him and, to their surprise, shook his hand. ‘Dean, I want to apologise. My behaviour was unacceptable the last time we met, and you did nothing to deserve it. You were trying to make sure my son was all right, and I’m grateful that he has friends he can rely on.’

Dean looked at Cas.

 _‘_ Actually, Mom…’ Cas looked away, but took Dean’s hand.

‘Oh…’

Cas waited with bated breath.

‘Gabriel told me that this might happen,’ she said, and Cas turned back to face her. To her credit, she was wearing a pleasant smile and, though Cas could tell she was struggling behind it, it was far better than the fury that he had seen when he was outed. ‘He taught me a sign, just in case.’

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. 

She was slow, but she signed out _{My name is Butt-Face and I like to pretend I'm a fairy}._ ‘That means, “Hello, how are you?”, right?’

Cas pressed his lips together to hold back his amusement. ‘Yeah, Mom, that’s what it means.’

She smiled widely. ‘Okay, then, I’ve brought lots of ingredients, so let’s get to the kitchen.’ She picked up the other bags and went into the kitchen.

Cas shot Dean a brief, confused look. ‘Wait, Mom, what are you doing?’

‘What do you mean, what am I doing? I’m going to bake with you,’ she called from the kitchen.

Cas went into the kitchen, pulling Dean with him by the hand. ‘But you never cook.’

She was unloading her ingredients onto one of the counters. ‘I’ve been practicing,’ she told him. ‘I’ve brought this recipe from my friend Gladys, for some cheese biscuits, she calls them. They’re not too bad in my opinion.’

Cas was gobsmacked, but quickly shook himself out of it, when he saw Dean sniggering at his expression. ‘Can I see the recipe?’ he asked, dropping Dean’s hand.

‘Of course.’ Emily handed Cas a piece of cardboard that had been scrawled on.

He squinted at it, while Dean went about gathering up the utensils and baking sheets they would need.

‘Do you bake much, Dean?’ Emily asked.

Dean shrugged.

‘I’ve been teaching him,’ Cas said, helping to prepare the ingredients.

‘Oh. That’s nice.’

‘He’s a much better cook than I am, though,’ Cas continued. ‘His homemade fries are amazing.’

‘You’ll have to make them for me someday.’  This time, Emily’s smile was warm and genuine.

Dean nodded. _{I will}_

‘What did he say?’ Emily asked.

‘He said he will,’ Cas translated.

‘Oh, good.’

Together, they made two batches of cheese biscuits, after Cas tweaked the recipe slightly, to make them less dense.

‘You can keep this,’ Emily said, sliding the recipe into Cas’s book.

They kept one of the batches in the kitchen for them to eat, but Cas put the other out in the bakery to sell.

‘Thanks,’ he said.

Emily hesitated.

‘What?’ Cas asked.

‘I’d like you to come home - just for dinner. Dean too.’

‘I can’t do that,’ Cas said, shrinking away.

‘Why not?’

‘You know why. Besides, Dad will be there…’

‘Oh, don’t mind your father, Castiel, I know he wants to see you.’

‘He said that to you? Out loud?’ Cas said sceptically.

‘Well, no-’

‘Then he doesn’t want to see me.’

‘That doesn’t matter,’ Emily insisted. ‘I want to see you. You’re my son and I miss you.’

‘Oh, Ma-’

‘Don’t “Oh, Ma” me. Just come and visit. It won’t be as bad as you think, and Gabriel will definitely want to see you.’

Cas rubbed his face, and Dean placed a hand on his shoulder.

 _{I wouldn’t mind}_ he signed. _{I’d like to see where you grew up}_

 _{You don’t understand}_ Cas signed back. _{That place has a lot of bad memories for me. If you didn’t think much of my mom, she’s nothing compared to my dad}_

_{It’s up to you. I support whatever decision you make}_

Cas turned back to Emily. ‘I’ll think about it,’ he said.

‘That’s all I’m asking,’ she said, smiling in relief. ‘I should get going. My flight’s in a few hours.’

‘Before you go, I want you to apologise to Alfie, and to start using his name.’

Emily nodded. ‘That’s fair. I’ll call him when I get home.’

She washed up everything they’d used and put the remaining ingredients in Cas’s fridge before she left. She also bought the remaining lemon tarts in that day’s batch, saying that her friends would love them.

‘Please remember to call me,’ she said, standing in the doorway.

‘I will.’

‘I’d like to see you again soon. I enjoyed today with you.’

‘Me too.’

‘Good. Goodbye, Castiel.’

‘Bye, Mom.’

She finally left and Cas exhaled loudly, leaning heavily on the counter. Dean came over, and Cas turned around and hugged him tightly, burying his face in his chest. They stood there for a while, arms wrapped around each other.

 _{Do you want to close?}_ Dean asked when he finally pulled away.

_{No, but can we go for a drive tonight? I’m still having trouble sleeping, and this won’t help}_

_{Of course}_ Dean kissed him lightly, then went back into the kitchen to make some peanut butter cookies.

The cheese biscuits turned out to be quite popular, and sold out by the end of the day, so Cas decided he would keep making them. On their way out of the bakery, Dean pocketed Cas’s phone that he had stashed under the register.

That night, Dean drove them out to the spot where he’d first asked Cas out on a date. It was another clear night, so they lay back on the hood of the car, stargazing.

‘It was his idea,’ Cas said eventually. ‘Mom wasn’t happy, but he was the one that wanted me gone.’

Dean turned to him and waited for him to keep talking.

‘He’s a quiet man. You can never tell what he’s thinking right up until he says it.’

Cas paused again, and Dean gently squeezed his hand, rubbing it with his thumb.

‘They went out for dinner that night. Either I lost track of time, or they came back early. I don’t remember which. I didn’t hear Mom coming up to check on me. Gabriel was supposed to be my look out but I guess he fell asleep.’ He sighed and moved closer to Dean as a chill came over him. ‘After they showed George out - that was his name - Mom was screaming so loud I thought the whole street must be able to hear. Gabriel was yelling too, but Dad just stood there. He didn’t say anything for the longest time and neither did I. We mostly just listened to Mom and Gabriel. It was very strange. Eventually it began to die down a little and I remember exactly what Dad said. He said “I can’t have you here” and he grabbed my arm and dragged me outside. He locked the door behind me and that was that. I didn’t know what to do and I could still hear Gabriel yelling inside. From what I gathered, I think he was trying to get to me, but they wouldn’t let him. It went quiet, so I walked away and kept walking for hours and hours until it was light. All I had was my clothes and a little change in my pocket, which I used to get the bus into the city. Of course, I soon wished I hadn’t.’ He looked at Dean, who was watching him intently. _{How are you so easy to talk to?}_

 _{I think it has something to do with the not talking back thing}_ Dean joked.

Cas leaned in and kissed him deeply, seeking comfort in Dean’s lips, while trying to convey how much he appreciated Dean’s presence with his own. He pulled himself closer and Dean’s arms found their way around him. He didn’t realise he had fallen asleep until his nightmare returned and he jolted awake, shivering. ‘Sorry,’ he mumbled groggily to Dean, who he had nearly knocked off the car.

Dean put Cas in the passenger seat of the car and drove them both back to Cas’s apartment.

Cas didn’t sleep any more that night, but being cuddled in close to Dean made it bearable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone. Thanks to Queen0fHearts, Kamera, deadgloves and Suchafangirl23 for the comments!  
> Hope you all enjoyed it and I'll see you again next week.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Over the following weeks, Cas thought that he’d well and truly lost his phone this time, though it wasn’t such a great loss. He felt bad about not contacting Charlie more, but it allowed his mother’s request to slowly fade from his thoughts.

Dean was in and out of the bakery regularly, spending the least amount of time he could at work. He tried to hide it, but Cas noticed him getting more and more uneasy over time.

‘Why do you stay there?’ he asked one day, as Dean mooched around his kitchen after a morning of work. ‘You’re talented. You could go anywhere, and I’m sure there are mechanics near where Sam works.’ To his surprise, Dean blushed. ‘What?’ he asked.

Dean rubbed the back of his neck, then signed, _{This one is closer to you}_

Cas too felt his cheeks redden. ‘Don’t stay somewhere that you don’t like on my account,’ he said, rolling out some pastry. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

 _{I like being close to you}_ As if to illustrate his point, Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist from behind, and slid his hands underneath Cas’s apron.

‘Hey, now,’ Cas murmured, ‘not in front of the pastry.’

Dean raised an amused eyebrow.

‘It’s too young for any of your shenanigans.’

Dean chuckled and spun Cas around. _{Then maybe we should go in the other room. We wouldn’t want to scar it so young}_ He kissed Cas fiercely, not allowing him to say anything just yet. _{What do you have that for?}_ he asked eventually.

Cas cleared his throat. ‘I, um, used to live in there. Before Charlie found the apartment,’ he mumbled, slightly flustered.

Dean nodded, then went back to kissing Cas and allowing his hands to wander. Cas began gently guiding him towards the back room. Dean ran a hand through Cas’s messy hair, but as he did so, caught sight of his watch. He broke away abruptly. _{I have to go}_ he signed. _{I’m late for therapy}_

‘Wha- Dean!’ Cas said indignantly.

 _{We’ll finish this later}_ he said with a wink, before dashing out of the front door.

Cas groaned once he was gone, and held his head in his hands. He forced himself to focus on anything else, splashing cold water on his face. Soon, he was back to normal, and got on with making the cupcakes for that afternoon.

At the end of the day, he began his usual routine, when Sam burst into the shop.

‘Sam, what’s wrong?’ Cas asked.

‘Have you seen Dean?’ Sam said breathlessly.

‘Not for a few hours, why?’

Sam ran both hands through his hair. ‘Uh, okay, let me know if you see him.’

‘Wait, Sam, what’s going on?’

Sam bit his lip, hovering around the front door. ‘I got a message from Dean’s therapist. She said they had an uncomfortable session. He got upset and stormed out, and he left his phone behind. I don’t know where he is. I was hoping he would be here… I gotta go. Let me know.’ Sam went back out the front door.

‘But Sam, I-’ the door snapped shut. ‘-don’t have my phone…’

Cas dropped his normal routine, and instead scoured the bakery again, pulling out all the baking trays and mixing bowls and patting along the back of all the cabinets. He was clattering around the kitchen so much that he didn’t hear the bell ring on the front door, and when he got up to check under the register, he nearly ran head-first into Dean coming into the kitchen. He reeled back in surprise, then caught a look at Dean’s balled-up fists, his clenched jaw and swollen, red eyes.

‘Where have you been?’ Cas said as Dean brushed past him. ‘Sam was looking for you. Are you all right?’

Dean slowly spun, looking around the room. _{Can I make something?}_

 _{Of course}_ Cas signed back, perturbed. _{What do you want to make?}_

_{Bread}_

Cas watched him stomp around the kitchen, mixing ingredients. He began kneading the dough, almost punching it with the force at which he was pushing the heel of his hand into it.

‘I, uh, think you’re overworking it a little,’ Cas mumbled nervously.

Dean kneaded it harder for a while longer, but then his movements slowed to a stop. His shoulders began to shake slightly, then Cas heard a sob.

‘Dean, what’s wrong?’ he asked in alarm, going over and putting a hand on Dean’s back.

Dean turned around and buried his head in Cas’s shoulder, squeezing him tightly.

‘What is it, sweetheart?’ Cas whispered, holding him close. ‘What’s wrong?’

Dean shook his head, and lowered them both to the ground, so they were sitting up against the kitchen counter. Cas opened one of the cabinets and pulled out a box of tissues. He offered them to Dean, who took one, but gave him a confused look.

‘I’ve cried a lot in this kitchen,’ he explained. ‘Particularly in this spot.’

Dean cleaned up his face a little, but tears continued to leak from his eyes, so he just balled it up in his fist.

‘What’s wrong?’ Cas asked again, softly brushing Dean’s cheek with his fingers. ‘Did something happen in therapy?’

Dean nodded stiffly. _{What if-}_ he began, but stopped, chin trembling. He took a deep breath and started again. _{What if I can never talk properly again?}_  he dropped his hands and stared up at the ceiling, sniffling.

Cas thought about it for a moment. ‘Do you want to talk again?’ he asked.

Dean nodded.

‘Are you sure? Because you don’t have to.’

Dean looked back down at him. _{What do you mean?}_

_{This is how you communicate. You don’t have to do it any other way if it’s not what makes you happy. That’s all any of us want, is for you to be happy. Especially me}_

Dean thought about it, then signed, _{I do want to talk}_

 _[Then you will}_ Cas signed. _{In your own time and in your own way}_ He briefly squeezed Dean’s hand. _{What brought this on?}_

Dean sighed. _{My therapist told me that I was relying on this too much, and if I really wanted to talk, then I should stop using it}_

_{Perhaps it was different when you were a child, but this is part of you now. You should tell her that you will do this, but only on your terms, and with your signing. If she can’t understand, then it may be time to find a new therapist}_

Dean groaned. _{It’s so hard finding someone who’ll take me like this}_

_{You might not have to. If she’s any good, she’ll understand}_

Dean nodded. _{You’ve never called me that before}_

_{What?}_

_{Sweetheart}_

Cas looked away, embarrassed.

Dean gently brought Cas back around to face him. _{It’s cute. Usually you only call me by name}_

_{I like saying your name}_

Dean snorted. _{I already knew that}_

Cas nudged him playfully, eliciting a short chuckle. ‘You know what I meant,’ he said.

Dean gazed at him for a while, his smile fading a little. _{You’re the only one that’s never asked me why I’m like this}_ he signed eventually.

Cas blinked. _{I always thought that if it was something you wanted me to know, you would tell me}_

_{Maybe I want to tell you now}_

_{I’m always here to listen}_

Dean positioned himself, cross-legged, across from Cas. _{When I was a kid, Sam had just been born, and we lived with our parents in K-A-N-S-A-S. I don’t remember much from before. But I remember my Mom. She-}_ Dean stopped, hands shaking. He swallowed hard.

Cas reached out and grabbed both of Dean’s hands with his. ‘You don’t have to,’ he murmured.

Dean brought Cas’s hands up, kissed them, then let them go. _{I want to. I want you to know}_ He took another steadying breath, then started again. _{When Sam was a baby, some crazy tried to kidnap him. When my mom stopped him, he set fire to our house. I got Sam out, but I tried to go back in for her. I couldn’t save her, but I saw}_ Dean paused for a moment to catch his breath. _{I saw her burn. I saw the whole thing}_

‘Oh, Dean,’ Cas breathed.

Dean wiped his face and continued. _{People kept asking me what happened. Wanted to know what I saw. Police, my dad, other kids, a few psychologists. It was just easier not to say anything at all}_

‘I’m so sorry,’ Cas whispered. ‘That’s awful.’

Dean rested his head on Cas’s shoulder, and they both sat in silence.

‘What happened to the guy that did it?’ Cas asked, stroking Dean’s hair.

Dean shrugged. _{Died in the fire}_ He slid even further down until his head was resting in Cas’s lap.

Cas put one hand protectively on Dean’s arm, but continued to stroke his hair with the other one. ‘I’ve got you,’ he whispered. He let Dean lie there, until the light from the setting sun turned the bakery orange and Dean sat himself up. His eyes had dried, but were still bloodshot.

 _{How long were you going to let me stay there?}_ Dean asked.

_{As long as you needed}_

Dean smiled weakly, then put a hand in his pocket. He pulled out Cas’s missing phone and pressed it into Cas’s hand.

‘Dean-?’

_{I miss my mom so much, all the time. If there’s even a chance that yours is serious, then you have to take that chance. What if your dad really does want to see you? Isn’t it worth it to visit and see for yourself?}_

Cas bit his lip. ‘You’ll come with me?’

_{Of course}_

‘I - all right, I’ll arrange it. Do you have a suit?’

_{Why?}_

‘Can’t have dinner with my parents without a suit.’

_{I think I have one somewhere}_

Cas nodded, and felt his heart beating slightly faster. ‘You had this the whole time?’ he asked, twirling his phone with his fingers.

_{You needed time, but your friends needed to know you were okay. I let them know for you}_

‘Did you find a minute to let Sam know you’re all right?’

Dean’s eyes widened and he scrunched up his nose.

‘I’ll take that as a no, then,’ Cas chuckled. ‘He’s probably still out looking for you, you know.’

 _{Let him look}_ Dean shrugged. He kissed Cas on the forehead, then signed, _{Thank you}_

 _{No need for thanks}_ Cas smiled.        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to Tatum, snips92, Beawild, Suchafangirl23 and Sweet_Tooth_Cosplays for the comments!  
> Hope you all enjoyed it and I'll see you all again next week!


	20. Chapter Twenty

Emily had been ecstatic when Cas called to arrange their dinner, and soon, his flight was booked.

Dean, however, was not impressed. _{I can’t fly}_ he signed uneasily.

‘What do you mean?’ Cas asked as he washed their dishes from that night’s dinner. Dean had stayed over at Cas’s almost every night since he’d told his story, and was now sitting on the couch, with his legs up and Gracie in his lap.

_{I can’t fly. I just can’t}_

_‘_ Are you - are you afraid of flying?’ Cas asked incredulously.

_{I’ll just drive}_

‘You can’t do that! That’s like a four day drive!’

_{I’ve driven longer before}_

‘Dean-’

_{It’ll be fine. I’ll just meet you there}_

Cas sighed and turned back to the dishes, so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t hear Dean get up, and jumped at his touch. He squirmed away from Dean’s embrace.

 _{You’re nervous}_ Dean signed as Cas ran both his hands through his hair.

_[Of course I am}_

Dean leaned against the counter and Gracie jumped up next to him. _{We’re visiting because they asked but it’s all on your terms. Don’t forget that you can leave whenever you want. You don’t owe them anything}_

Cas nodded, mostly to himself.

 _{Take your medicine, and come sit with me}_ Dean lay back down on the couch and waited for Cas to join him. _{You need TV in here}_ he signed.

‘I’ll get right on that.’ This time, he allowed Dean to bundle him up in his arms. ‘Everything will be all right,’ he whispered.

Dean nodded, then pressed his lips to Cas’s, his hands sliding up Cas’s neck and into his hair.

Cas shivered at the fingers travelling up the back of his neck, and kissed back. ‘As long as you’re there, I’ll be fine,’ he murmured into Dean’s lips.

 

The day before his flight, Alfie had come over for the evening and watched as Cas packed and unpacked his suitcase three times. Dean had left a few days earlier, and Cas was attempting to think rationally, though, for the most part, he was completely frazzled.

‘Are you sure this is a good idea?’ Alfie asked, holding a couple of Cas’s sweaters.

‘No,’ Cas said, throwing a few pairs of pants onto the couch. ‘but I should find out, right? Mom apologised to you and actually meant it, that has to mean something, right?’

Alfie shrugged.

‘What am I forgetting?’ Cas said, looking around the room and scratching his head. He looked at his bedroom door. ‘My suit!’

Alfie struggled to contain his snigger, then helped Cas repack his suitcase for what was hopefully the final time.

‘And you’ll be fine with the bakery?’ Cas asked Alfie.

‘Yeah, I have all your instructions.’

‘My phone number?’

‘Yes.’

‘All the recipes?’

‘Cas, stop. It’ll be fine.’

Cas nodded. ‘You’re right.’

‘I want to hear everything when you get back.’

Cas smiled. ‘Sure.’

At last satisfied with his packing, he said goodnight to Alfie and went to bed early, making sure he left the instructions for Gracie on the kitchen counter.

 

The flight was uneventful, but to his surprise, Gabriel was waiting for him at the airport.

‘I was just going to take a cab over,’ he said as Gabriel took his suitcase.

‘Don’t be ridiculous, the cab fares here are extortionate. Come on, let’s go.’ He led Cas out to the parking lot.

‘What on earth is that?’ Cas asked, as Gabriel unlocked the doors to a bright blue Cadillac Eldorado.

‘You like it?’ Gabriel grinned.

‘It’s hideous.’

A set of fake horns had been bolted on to the hood and wings on the back. Some pink, fuzzy dice hung from the rearview mirror, and the whole thing was filled with creamy white upholstery.

‘What, like it’s any better than Dean’s monstrosity?’

‘Hey, don’t talk about the Impala like that.’

‘You like that thing?’ Gabriel said, climbing in.

‘It’s a great car,’ Cas said, sitting in the passenger side.

‘Really?’ Gabriel turned the key in the ignition. ‘Have you done it in the back seat yet?’

‘Come on.’

‘Oh my God, you totally have! Nice!’

Cas flushed and rolled his eyes. ‘Just drive.’

‘With pleasure.’ Gabriel drove off with a jolt.

Cas watched the city out of the window and felt himself shivering, with the memories all rushing back.

‘You okay, kid?’ Gabriel said, breaking into his thoughts.

‘Yes,’ Cas murmured. ‘Just thinking.’

Gabriel seemed to realise what was happening. ‘They locked me in my room,’ he said.

Cas looked around, confused.

‘When you… left… They locked me in my room for three days, so I couldn’t go after you. I want you to know that I would have.’

‘I know you would have,’ Cas said, voice cracking. ‘But why are you telling me this right before I see them?’

‘Because I want you to see how different things are now. And for that, you need context.’ He rounded a corner sharply, and Cas recognised most of the buildings. His shivering worsened and he wrapped his arms around himself in an attempt to cover it up, though he wasn’t altogether successful. Gabriel switched on the heater, but it didn’t do much good.

He didn’t say much else for the rest of the short drive, which was unusual for him, but took the pressure off Cas to make conversation. He slowed as they entered their street and heard a sharp intake of breath from Cas. ‘Almost there, kid,’ he said with a grimace.

Theirs was a long driveway, with short trees lining it. Gabriel brought them right up to the solid oak front door, with matching porch, and parked the car.

Cas’s fists uncurled when he saw the drive was free of their father’s black Mercedes, but he made no move to get up when Gabriel parked.

Gabriel got out and pulled Cas’s suitcase out of the trunk, then went over to the passenger side when Cas still hadn’t moved. He opened the door and bent over to look in. ‘You need a minute?’ he asked.

Cas nodded.

‘Okay. I’ll take your bag up to your room.’

‘My room,’ Cas croaked.

‘Yeah. Stay here as long as you want. No rush.’ Gabriel went inside and once the door had closed on the rolling wheels of Cas’s suitcase, it was quiet again.

Cas remained in the passenger seat for a while, gazing up at his childhood home. It was mostly the same, but the creeping ivy that had slowly been climbing up the left side of the house had grown almost to the roof. A breeze blew in through the car door and Cas shuddered. He finally got out of the car and stepped up onto the porch. He stood in front of the door for a minute, but then turned to a heavy, wooden chest that sat underneath one of the windows. He crouched and opened it, and was pleased to find that it was still stuffed with blankets and cushions, although they were beginning to smell a little musty. He bundled them up in his arms and walked back down the driveway with them, to where the drive met the street. A particularly sturdy tree stood there, with a long bench hanging from it. Of all the things still here, Cas was glad that this was. That and the top of the lighthouse that peeked over the roofs of the houses opposite. Cas arranged the cushions on the bench, wrapped himself in a blanket and sat down.

After while, the shivering abated and Cas closed his eyes, waiting for his mind to stop racing and his muscles to relax.

‘Castiel?’

Cas jumped and his eyes snapped open.

‘Is that really you?’

Cas stood up and looked at the man staring at him. He looked familiar, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

The man smiled widely and threw himself at Cas, slinging his arms around Cas’s neck. ‘Oh my God, you’re okay!’ he exclaimed. He let Cas go and suddenly Cas recognised his face.

‘George! Wow! I- I don’t know what to say.’

‘I’m so glad you’re okay. When you disappeared that day - well - you could have been anywhere. I mean, we looked for you, but we never heard anything else.’

‘You looked for me?’

‘Of course! My mom was so mad, I thought she was going to take your mom’s head clean off when she heard you were missing. She was all “I can’t believe what you’ve done to that sweet boy. If I find him, he’s coming back with me and he’s staying with me”. I couldn’t believe it, she never yells like that.’

‘That was really nice of her.’

George nodded, preoccupied, then seemed to shake himself out of it. ‘Anyway, what are you up to these days?’ he asked, walking them slowly up the driveway.

‘I have a bakery now. In Oregon.’

‘Oregon? Couldn’t get much further away,’ George joked.

‘There’s always San Francisco,’ Cas joked back. ‘What about you? What do you do now?’

‘Oh, you know, working at my dad’s firm… I got married.’

‘Congratulations.’

‘Yeah. Her name’s Anne.’

‘Anne? I certainly hope I wasn’t a phase,’ Cas said with a smile.

‘Oh no, of course not! I really liked you, I just… I love Anne.’

‘George relax, I was kidding.’

George laughed. ‘Right. You got me. What are you doing back here, anyway?’

‘Mom invited me,’ Cas told him as they reached the porch. ‘And my partner. She wants to have dinner with us.’

‘That’s - different.’

‘You can say it. It’s weird.’

‘And your partner?’

‘Yeah. He should be here any minute, actually.’

George considered him for a moment. ‘You’re not going to forgive them, are you?’

Cas looked up at the house, then back at George. ‘That’s not decided yet,’ he said.

‘I wouldn’t even consider it,’ George admitted. ‘I heard some of the things they said to you.’

‘Is it not worth it to see if they’ve changed their minds?’

‘For who? You or them?’

Cas said nothing.

George shook his head. ‘I get it. You always did feel so much of everything, and I’m betting you still feel love for them.’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘It’s a good thing, I suppose. Makes you more optimistic than me, that’s for sure.’

Just then, the sound of the Impala approaching interrupted them, and Cas felt his spirits lifting. ‘That’s him,’ he said.

‘How can you tell? That could be any car.’

‘Trust me.’

And sure enough, the shiny black and silver car rounded the end of the driveway and pulled up next to Gabriel’s.

Dean got out with a huge grin on his face, took a few steps over to Cas and kissed him fiercely enough to push him backwards a little.

Cas was suddenly uncomfortably aware of where they were and pushed Dean away.

George cleared his throat awkwardly.

‘Sorry,’ Cas said, ‘George, this is Dean. Dean, George.’

Dean shook his hand. _{Wait, is this the G-e-o-r-g-e?}_

Cas nodded.

Dean grinned again.

‘What?’ George said, confused.

‘Dean’s mute,’ Cas explained. ‘He uses sign language.’

‘Oh, okay. What did he say?’

‘Nothing,’ Cas said hastily.

‘Well, it’s nice to meet you, Dean,’ George said politely.

Dean nodded.

‘I better get going. I was supposed to be on my way home. Not to mention my mom will be pleased to hear about you.’

‘It was good to see you, George.’

‘Yeah, you too.’ George reached out and hugged Cas again, though Cas remained stiffly in place. He walked off down the driveway and Cas exhaled loudly, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Dean put a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged away from it.

 _{What’s wrong?}_ Dean asked.

_{I’m sorry. It’s just this place… I don’t like it when people can see me with someone. I know it’s weird, but I can feel eyes on me}_

_{I understand}_ Dean took a step back to give Cas some space, then looked around. _{A couple of questions}_

‘Yes?’

 _{First: what the hell is that?}_ he pointed at Gabriel’s car and Cas laughed.

_{That’s G-a-b-r-i-e-l’s}_

_{It’s an insult to cars, is what it is}_

_{What’s the next question?}_

Dean glanced up at the house again. _{Are you rich?}_

Cas shuffled his feet self-consciously. _{I suppose so}_

Dean whistled, then signed _{Are we going in?}_

Cas sucked in a breath, while Dean grabbed his bag from the car. They both stepped up the porch to the front door and, just as they were about to go in, Cas grabbed Dean’s hand, who smiled at him encouragingly.

They opened the door and walked inside the spacious hallway and Dean stared around in awe. There were flowers and expensive-looking decorations everywhere, and all the hardwood floors, banisters, and grand staircase were gleaming. Cas breathed in the familiar smell of lillies and lemon and held onto Dean’s hand tightly.

‘Hey, Deano!’ Gabriel said, appearing out of one of the large doors along the hall. ‘How you doing?’

_{Your car is gross. You should get rid of it immediately}_

‘Aw, thanks, pal, I appreciate that.’ Gabriel clapped him on the back and didn’t notice him, or Cas, straining not to laugh. ‘Ma, they’re here!’ he yelled down the hall.

The door right at the end of the hall swung open and Emily strode along the length of it. She enveloped Cas in a hug. ‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ she said. ‘And Dean!’ She grabbed his free hand with both of hers. ‘It’s so good to see you. Come through, come through. Gabriel get their bags upstairs.’

‘Sure thing, Ma,’ Gabriel said, rolling his eyes. He grabbed Dean’s things and Cas and Dean followed Emily through the hallway.

The door at the end of the hall opened into a huge, modern kitchen, and Dean walked around it, squinting at all the machines. _{I don’t even know what most of these are for}_ he grinned.

‘That one’s a dehydrator,’ Cas said to Dean, as he pulled the plastic cover off to examine it. ‘For fruit.’

‘I showed Gladys the changes you made to her recipe, and she loved it,’ Emily said, digging through one of the cupboards, ‘so I started looking through some of my old recipe books.’ She pulled out a small stack of old notebooks, and dropped them onto the counter. ‘If you want these, you can have them,’ she said.

‘Mom, I can’t-’

‘I don’t need them,’ Emily insisted. ‘The cook makes most of my food for me now, and I have copies of my favourite recipes. I thought you could make a project of these. Update them and experiment.’

Cas smiled. ‘That could be fun,’ he conceded.

‘Do as you like,’ Emily smiled.

She turned to look at something else and Dean tugged on Cas’s sleeve.

_{What?}_

_{You have a cook?}_

_{Yes}_

_{So rich}_

Cas rolled his eyes. ‘Mom, when is Dad getting back?’

‘Oh, he shouldn’t be too long now. You’d best go and get dressed.’

‘Right, come on, Dean.’ Cas gathered the notebooks in his arms, and led Dean upstairs.

Cas’s room was above the kitchen, and when he opened the door, he dropped all the notebooks in surprise. It was almost exactly the way he’d left it, with the exception being some posters that had been taken down, and the bed had been made.

Dean scooped up the notebooks and closed the door behind them, then dumped the books on the bed. He went over to get his suit out of his bag, watching Cas wander around the room out of the corner of his eye. He laid it out on the bed, then reached out and gently touched the tips of Cas’ fingers.

Cas turned and faced him.

 _{Are you okay?}_ Dean asked.

 _{It’s hard to say}_ Cas said, leaning against the wall.

_{If it makes you feel better, you’re doing really well}_

‘Thanks,’ Cas smiled, then pulled out his own suit.

 _{I’ve never seen you in this}_ Dean commented.

‘Well, get ready,’ Cas smiled. He started to get changed, but before he could put his shirt on, Dean started kissing his exposed shoulders. A shiver went up his spine. ‘There’s no time,’ he whispered.

Dean ignore him for a few more soft kisses, then helped him into his shirt. Dean then continued to watch him get dressed.

‘It’s still too big,’ Cas muttered, putting on the jacket. It hung too far down his palms and the shoulders were a little too wide.

 _{You look great}_ Dean signed, looking him up and down. _{My turn}_ Contrary to Cas’s, Dean’s suit was well fitted, and Cas took his time helping Dean with the tie. His hands lingered on Dean’s chest, then he stepped back and cleared his throat. ‘Looks good,’ he said.

Dean grinned and brushed himself down, smoothing out any wrinkles.

Cas turned around, biting his lip, and opened the wardrobe to put away their clothes. He stopped half way through, confronted by the clothes of his seventeen year-old self.

Dean’s mouth dropped open and he reached inside to pull out a particularly egregious, neon blue crop top.

Cas snatched it away, though he was unable to keep a straight face at Dean’s gleeful expression.

Then there was a knock at the door. ‘I’m coming in, no funny business,’ Gabriel called before letting himself in.

He too had dressed himself in a suit, only it was made of a spangly gold material and the collar stood at a point near his chin.

‘What-?’

‘Before you say anything, you’re the one that’s got a crop top in your hand. Pretty sure I’ve seen you wear it too.’

Cas hastily threw it back in the wardrobe. ‘What do you want?’

‘Just letting you know that Dad’s home and dinner will be ready soon. By the way, do you wear that underneath the crop top, or on its own?’

‘What?’ He turned around and Dean was holding another piece of his old clothing. This time it was a black mesh vest, and Dean was smiling from ear to ear.

‘All right, that’s enough,’ Cas said in mock annoyance. He put the vest back. ‘We’ll be down in a minute.’

‘Okay, see you in a minute.’ He closed the door behind him.

Cas sighed. ‘You like what you see?’ he asked Dean, who was still laughing at Cas’s old clothes.

 _{There is one thing}_ He went back in and pulled out a long, tan, trench coat.

‘I remember that,’ Cas said, and Dean put it on him. ‘Dad bought it for me when he tried to get me into his business.’

_{I like it}_

‘Maybe I’ll keep it.’ Cas murmured. He then stood up straight and bounced slightly on the balls of his feet. ‘Are you ready to meet my dad?’

_{Are you?}_

Cas hesitated, then nodded. ‘Yes. Let’s go.’ Cas led Dean back downstairs, but went into a different door than they had to get to the kitchen. This time Cas took him into the dining room, where Emily, Gabriel, and Cas’s father were waiting.

He seemed a lot shorter than Cas remembered, and the thick, dark hair that they both shared was thinning on his head. His expression didn’t change when he saw the two of them and he stepped over to them.

‘Castiel,’ he said.

‘Father,’ Cas said quietly.

‘And this is Dean?’

‘Yes.’

Dean reached out a hand and Cas winced as his father curtly shook it.

‘Let’s sit down,’ Gabriel said loudly.

‘Good idea,’ Emily said, equally as loud. She made a great fuss of showing everyone to their seats, even though they had all, except Dean, sat in the same seats for nearly two decades.

Emily and Gabriel sat on one side of the table, Cas and Dean on the other, with Cas’s dad at the head.

‘What’s for dinner, Mom?’ Gabriel asked.

‘Oh, Katya has made us a wonderful beef stroganoff. I’ve tried it before and it’s absolutely gorgeous. I’m sure you’ll all love it.’

‘That sounds great, Mom,’ Cas said.

‘You can eat it?’ their dad said. ‘You’re not a vegetarian or something?’

‘No, I eat meat. Beef included.’

‘Yeah, plenty of pork too,’ Gabriel muttered.

‘What was that?’ their dad said.

‘Nothing,’ Gabriel said hastily. Cas kicked him under the table.

Fortunately, the food was brought in at that moment.

‘Let’s say grace,’ their dad said, holding out his hands. The all held hands around the table and closed their eyes. ‘For this and all we are about to receive, make us truly grateful, Lord. Through Christ we pray,’ he recited. ‘Amen.’

‘Amen,’ was repeated by Cas, Emily and Gabriel, then they all dug into their food.

‘You’re right, Mom, this is really good,’ Gabriel said with his mouth full.

Cas nodded in agreement.

Emily looked Gabriel over. ‘Where do you even get these suits? They’re awful.’

‘Suits plural?’ Cas asked.

‘You should have seen him last week. He came in here wearing one completely covered in turquoise sequins. Completely ridiculous. Or how about that time he came in dressed as Colonel Sanders. That was a sight, I’ll tell you that.’

‘I can imagine,’ Cas laughed.

‘I live to entertain,’ Gabriel said, doing a mini bow at the table.

They all laughed, then their dad spoke up.

‘What do you do, Dean?’ he asked quietly, cutting up a bit of beef without looking at it.

‘Dean works as a mechanic,’ Cas said. ‘He’s quite talented.’ He heard a slight prideful tone in his voice, and hoped everyone else had heard it too.

‘Maybe he can fix your car, Gabriel,’ Emily said.

‘What? It doesn’t need fixing.’

‘Oh, yes it does.’

‘ _Mom.’_

‘No, perhaps it doesn’t need fixing. It might be beyond help by now.’

Dean and Cas sniggered at her teasing, but still, their dad was focused on Dean.

‘Where are you from originally?’

‘He’s from Kansas,’ Cas told him.

‘Kansas, huh? I’ve been to Kansas. Boring as hell. I wouldn’t go there again.’

‘And Dad has spoken,’ Gabriel grinned.

‘What about your parents? What do they do?’

‘Unfortunately, Dean’s parents have passed away.’

‘I asked Dean, not you,’ he snapped at Cas.

‘Come on, Dad, we told you about this before,’ Gabriel said nervously.

‘Ah yes, I remember now. He’s dumb, is that right?’

_‘Dad!’_

‘Come on, now.’

‘He prefers mute, or non-verbal,’ Cas said through gritted teeth.

‘Doesn’t matter what it’s called, it’s rude to ignore people when they’re talking to you.’

‘He’s not ignoring you.’

‘Dad, we already told you about all this,’ Gabriel insisted.

Cas took another bite of his food, in an effort to force down his anger.

Dean put a hand on his knee and squeezed. Unfortunately Cas’s dad noticed this.

‘No. There’ll be none of that,’ he said. He put down his knife and fork. ‘You were wrong, Emily. This isn’t right. I will not be subjected to perversion at my own dinner table.’

 _‘Charles!’_ Emily exclaimed, while Gabriel just made disgusted noises. ‘You can’t say things like that!’

‘You didn’t have a problem with it before.’

‘Yes, but I was wrong,’ Emily said. ‘And so are you.’

‘I’m not wrong.’

‘Uh, yeah, actually, I think you are,’ Gabriel said scathingly.

‘Enough! This is not how we raised you,’ Charles argued hotly.

‘Yeah! Like either of you ever did any raising,’ Gabriel laughed. ‘That’s what you paid the help for, remember?’

The table devolved into an argument between Charles and Emily and Gabriel, but Cas put his head in his hands and leaned his elbows on the table, tuning it out as best he could. ‘I knew this was a bad idea,’ he muttered.

It went on for a little longer, until Dean suddenly slammed his hand against the table, causing all of them to fall silent.

‘Dean…’ Cas murmured, looking at him.

He stood up with a furious expression and they all stared at him. Then, to all of their surprise, he spoke. ‘Stop,’ he said. ‘I love Cas. It doesn’t matter what you think.’ Then he pulled Cas out of his seat. ‘Let’s go.’

He marched the both out of the front door and slammed it behind them.

Cas moved away from the door and paced around. ‘This is ridiculous,’ he berated himself. ‘I should have known. I shouldn’t have believed them. I’m so stupid.’ He kicked at the grass at the side of the driveway. ‘I can’t believe I fell for it.’ He turned and saw Dean leaning against the front column of the porch, watching him, with a slight smile on his face. He smile when an understanding expression dawned on Cas’s face. ‘Dean?’ he said quietly.

Dean nodded.

‘You - you love me?’

Dean walked over to him and nodded.

‘I love you too - of course I do. Of course I do.’ He slung his arms around Dean’s neck. ‘I love you.’

Dean held him tightly, keeping them both in the same spot for a while, until the front door opened again. For a moment, they could hear Charles and Emily still arguing, but then the door closed again, and Gabriel dragged their bags down the porch steps for them. ‘Figured you’d need your stuff,’ he said, dumping it next to Dean’s car. He looked at them and smiled. ‘That’s the first time you said that, huh?’

Cas nodded.

‘That’s cute, and I admire your timing.’

‘Gabe-’

‘No, it’s fine,’ he said. ‘I get it. You tried.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘What? No. Never be sorry. You haven’t done anything wrong.’

Cas raised his eyebrows at the level of sincerity that Gabriel was showing.

‘And Dean’s right, it doesn’t matter what they think. You guys are great together. For what it’s worth, I’ll always be here for you guys. And your car is okay, I guess.’

Dean snorted and shook his head.

‘He still thinks your car is gross,’ Cas said.

‘I prefer to call it eccentric,’ Gabriel grinned. ‘By the way,’ he reached into his pocket and pulled out a key. ‘You remember where Dad’s boathouse is?’

‘Yes, why?’

‘You should stay there tonight. There’s no point in trying to drive anywhere tonight and you shouldn’t stay here.’

‘That sounds like a good idea.’

‘Yeah, and say you take the boat out for a spin. And say you forget to tie it up afterwards.’

‘It would get lost in the lake.’

‘Wouldn’t that be a shame?’ Gabriel said with a glint in his eye.

Dean grinned and took the key.

‘Thanks,’ Cas said.

‘’Night, guys,’ Gabriel said, turning back to the house.

 

Once they had loaded their luggage into Dean’s car, Cas directed him for a few blocks until they came to the lake shore and his dad’s boathouse. The bottom floor led directly to the boat, but there was a staircase on the outside that led to a large, open plan apartment.

Dean parked the car outside and helped Cas put the bags upstairs, then walked behind him down to the boat.

 _{You know how to sail?}_ Dean asked.

‘My father has a boat and a house on the shore of Lake Michigan. Of course I know how to sail.’ Cas hopped on board the boat, then held his hand out to Dean.

_{I’ve never been on a boat}_

_‘_ Never?’ Cas asked, helping him on board.

Dean shook his head.

Cas passed him one of the orange life jackets. ‘Do you get motion sickness?’

Dean shook his head.

Cas’s lips twitched. ‘You should be fine, then.’ He put on his own life jacket and untethered the boat from its dock. It drifted out from under the house, and as soon as they were clear of it, Cas unfurled the sails.

Dean watched Cas confidently work all the ropes and the tiller, and he knew that they were going in the direction Cas wanted, rather than whichever way the tides took them. Before long, they were far enough out onto the lake that they could see the stars beginning to appear in the sky, and the sun setting over the city.

Cas squinted back over at the shore, then opened one of the cabinets next to the tiller. ‘Hold this steady for me,’ he told Dean.

Dean put a hand on the tiller while Cas pulled out some charts and a flashlight.

‘We can anchor not far from here,’ he told Dean, casting an experienced eye over the chart. ‘I’m a little rusty, though, so we shouldn’t stay out too long past sunset. I’m not all that comfortable sailing at night.’ He looked at Dean, who was gazing at him with a rapt expression. ‘What?’ Cas said.

_{Nothing. You’re just beautiful}_

Cas blushed, then took the tiller back from Dean. He guided the boat into position, then lowered the sails. He checked he was in the right place once more and lowered the anchor. Then, finally, he sat down beside Dean and relaxed.

_{Not that I would know, but you see good at this}_

_{I used to be a lot better. It’s been a long time}_

_{Do you miss it?}_

_{Sometimes. There are a few lakes in O-r-e-g-o-n, but none like this one}_

Dean nodded. He looked out at the sunset for a while, thinking. _{I want you to meet my family}_

_{But I thought your parents were gone?}_

_{They are, but a family isn’t just your parents. Come back with me in the car. It’s on the way. Please}_

_{The bakery-}_

_{Call Alfie in the morning. I’m sure he and Sam can cover it}_

Cas bit his lip. ‘I suppose it has been a while since I had any time off.’

Dean grinned and squeezed his hand.

Once the sun had finally dipped beneath the horizon, Cas got up and raised the anchor and the sails, and brought them back to shore. He let Dean off and threw both of their life jackets back into the boat. He left the sails up and, with Dean’s help, pushed the boat back out onto the lake. They watched it disappear into the night, then Dean grabbed Cas and rushed him upstairs. As soon as the door was closed, Dean was kissing Cas with so much force that he almost fell backwards. Dean lifted him clean off his feet and carried him to the bed. ‘I love you,’ he whispered again.

‘I love you too.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to snips92 and QueenofHearts for the comments!  
> This one turned out a LOT longer than I intended, but I hope you all enjoyed it anyway, and I'll see you again next week!  
> Don't forget to follow me on Twitter @Nurmengardx


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

Cas and Dean packed up and left early the next morning. They hadn’t slept much the night before and decided to leave once the sun had come up. Cas got into the car next to Dean, who was grinning at him goofily.

‘What?’ Cas asked.

 _{I’m excited for you to meet them}_ Dean signed, before starting up the car.

Cas nodded, but felt his stomach begin to churn. He pushed it down and called Alfie.

‘ _What’s up?’_ Alfie asked.

‘Do you think you could take care of the bakery for a few more days?’

‘ _Sure, but why?’_

‘Dean’s taking me to Sioux Falls to visit his family. He says if you need anything, Sam will help. Is that okay?’

‘ _Yeah of course. How did it go with your parents.’_

 _‘_ We stayed the night at the boathouse and “accidentally” lost Dad’s boat.’

‘ _That good? Well, don’t worry about the bakery. I’ll stay at your place while you’re away and make sure everything’s covered.’_

 _‘_ Thanks, Alfie.’

Cas then leaned back in his seat, alternating between watching Dean and staring out of the window. Dean glanced over at him, concern clouding over his face.

‘I’m fine,’ Cas sighed, catching it.

Dean tilted his head slightly and Cas sighed again.

‘What if they don’t like me?’

Dean scoffed.

‘Don’t be like that,’ Cas said. ‘They could easily not like me. If it wasn’t obvious, I’m not really a family person.’

Dean shook his head.

‘What do you mean?’

Dean glanced at him. Both of his hands were on the wheel of the car, so instead he opened his mouth. ‘You just need to find the right one,’ he said in a low croak.

Cas, as always, felt a thrill at the sound of his voice. ‘I don’t know what you mean by that,’ he mumbled stubbornly.

Dean rolled his eyes, and switched the music on.

Soon, the rest Cas had missed the night before caught up with him, with the sound of the music and the motion of the car lulling him to sleep. His usual nightmares were a lot more vivid than usual, and he jolted awake a few hours later as the car came to a stop. He looked around blearily and saw that they were at a rest stop.

Dean got out and went around to the passenger side. _{You coming?}_ he asked.

Cas rubbed his face, then nodded and got out.

 _{We’re about half way there}_ Dean told him as they walked into the bright diner. _{Get something to eat, be right back}_

Cas looked around at the diner. It was almost empty, and the one girl behind the counter smiled at him.

‘Hello,’ he said politely.

She handed him some menus. ‘Take a seat.’

Cas ordered them both a burger each, and stared out the window, absent-mindedly stirring his milkshake with his straw.

Dean came back out of the bathroom and briefly touched Cas’s shoulder as he sat down. _{What’s wrong?}_ he asked, once he’d got Cas’s attention.

 _{I left my medicine at home}_ Cas told him, biting his lip. _{We were busy yesterday. I didn’t notice}_

Dean thought about it, then began signing rapidly. _{What time was your flight? We could still make it. Or Sam can fly out with them and meet us there}_

Cas shook his head. _{A few days won’t kill me}_

_{Don’t be like that. You’ll withdraw, then you’ll have to go through all the side effects again when you go back on. Let me just-}_

_{I said it’s fine}_ Cas insisted.

Dean looked at him. _{What’s the real problem?}_

_{I told you}_

_{We both already know you’re a bad liar}_

‘I don’t know,’ Cas said, burying his head in his arms and leaning on the table. ‘I don’t know.’ His voice was muffled by his arms. He bit down on his lip to hold back what he was sure were tears. Then he felt Dean’s hand on his arm and he looked up. ‘I don’t know,’ he repeated.

Dean stroked his arm. _{It’s okay to not know. You don’t have to know all the time}_

Cas nodded. ‘But- but I’m scared.’

_{Of what?}_

‘I’m scared of not knowing.’

 _{It’s okay}_ Dean squeezed his arm, but Cas stopped reacting and turned again to look out of the window.

Dean grimaced. He tried to say something - anything more than he had already, but the words still caught in his chest and died before they reached his mouth. He pushed away his frustration and focused on Cas, whose watery eyes had glazed over, and whose arm was trembling under Dean’s fingers. Even if he could somehow force more than a sentence out of his mouth, what would he say? He could do something, though, so he left Cas at the table picking at his burger, and retrieved his phone from the car. He briefly called Sam to get his attention, then texted him

 _I need help,_ he said. A few minutes passed, then Sam replied.

_What’s up?_

_Can you fly out to Sioux Falls tonight?_

_No, I have court in the morning. What’s going on?_

Dean scuffed his feet against the ground, thinking.

_Can you go to Cas’s place for me and find his meds?_

_Sure, give me a minute._

Dean pocketed his phone and waited, leaning against the car. He looked back at the diner and could just about make out Cas through the window. He sighed, wondering of there was any way of convincing Cas that everyone would love him. It would be difficult, to be sure. From what Dean had seen and heard, there was no way of emerging from Cas’s childhood unscathed. His thoughts were interrupted by his phone buzzing.

_I’m here, what do you need?_

_I just need you to see what kind of medicine it is. He keeps it in the cabinet up and left of the stove._

_You know where he keeps it, but not what it is?_

_Just look_

Another few minutes passed, then,

_It says Citalopram 30mg. I take it he needs this?_

_Can you look up the withdrawals from it?_

_Do it yourself._

_I’m out of data and I’m at a rest stop half way to Sioux Falls._

_Fine._

Dean waited patiently.

_This says that the most likely withdrawal symptoms are stomach cramps, flu-like symptoms and similar feelings mentally as before the medication was started. They’ll go away again once it’s restarted._

_Thanks_

Dean put his phone away and looked around. Thankfully, he saw a small pharmacy attached to the gas station. He walked over to it and approached the man at the register.

‘Can I help?’ he asked.

Dean patted all of his pockets, but realised he’d left his notepad at home. He mimed writing at the cashier, who looked confused for a moment.

‘Oh! Pen and paper?’

Dean nodded.

The man gave him a small notepad and a chewed pen. Dean wrote on it, _what’s good for stomach cramps and the flu?_

‘Let’s see, Aleve might be best, but take some Tylenol too. Heat pads or a hot water bottle will be good for the cramps. I hear peppermint and herbal teas help.’

Dean grabbed everything and wrote _thanks_ on the notepad, then made his way back to the diner. When he got there, Cas had eaten a little more of his food, but the rest was now stone cold.

‘Where did you go?’ Cas asked.

Dean shrugged and pointed over to the pharmacy.

Cas nodded. ‘Is it time to go?’

Dean smiled, pulled Cas up by his hands and kissed him on the forehead, a warm glow in his chest when he drew out a smile.

Cas followed Dean back out to the car, shivering slightly. ‘Hold on,’ he said, going into the trunk of the car. He dug into his suitcase and yanked out the trench coat. He threw it over his shoulders and got in the car next to Dean.

Dean gave him an approving look and drove away.

A few hours later, they finally arrived in Sioux Falls, and Dean pulled the car into a gravelly drive, over which hung a rusted sign that read ‘Singer Salvage Yard’.

A smile spread over Dean’s face and he visibly relaxed. He parked the car in an empty spot next to a rundown house and got out. He waited for Cas to get out of the car, then led him inside.

It was dark, and smelled strongly of whisky, but once Cas’s eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw that the living room walls were jammed with books and bookcases. Then, an older man in a cap emerged from the kitchen.

‘Why’d I have to hear from Sam that you were coming?’ the man demanded.

Dean looked sheepish.

‘Don’t listen to him,’ a woman’s voice said. ‘He’s happy to see you.’ She too came out from the kitchen.

Dean hugged the man tightly, and kissed the woman on the cheek, then he turned back to Cas and beckoned him over.

‘Bobby Singer,’ then man said, shaking Cas’s hand.

‘Ellen Harvelle,’ said the woman.

Cas nodded. ‘Castiel Novak,’ he told them.

‘Castiel,’ said Bobby. ‘Weird name.’

‘I usually just go by Cas.’

‘Don’t mind him, Cas, he’s just doing his grumpy old man bit,’ Ellen said.

Dean laughed, then signed something at Ellen.

‘She’s just finished her shift, she’ll be here soon.’

‘Did anyone call Jody?’ Bobby asked, going back into the kitchen.

‘I’m on it,’ said Ellen, sending a quick text.

‘You drink beer, Cas?’ Bobby called from the kitchen.

‘Sure,’ Cas said.

Bobby brought a cold bottle out for him, then settled himself in a chair behind a desk.

Dean sat Cas down on the couch and he and Ellen leaned against the wall.

‘So, what do you do, Cas?’ Ellen asked.

‘I own a bakery,’ Cas told her. ‘I work in it most days with my cousin.’

‘A bakery, really?’ Bobby asked, taking a sip of his beer. ‘What do you make?’

‘Lots of things. Bread, cakes, cookies…’

‘How’d you guys meet?’ Ellen asked.

Cas glanced at Dean, smiling slightly. ‘At the bakery. Sam and Dean were testing my food.’

Ellen nodded. ‘Of course. I forgot about the bakery hunt they do.’

Dean grinned. _{It’s a tradition}_

‘Is it a tradition to sleep with the baker too?’ another voice said. They all turned and saw a blonde girl standing in the doorway.

Dean laughed and went over to her.

‘Is this him?’ she asked, gesturing at Cas.

Dean nodded.

‘He’s pretty,’ she said.

Dean laughed again and hugged her.

‘I’m Jo,’ she said to Cas, once Dean let her go.

‘Nice to meet you, Jo,’ Cas said politely. ‘What do you all do?’

‘Well, I’ve got my yard,’ Bobby said, ‘and Ellen and Jo here have a bar. That’s how we met.’

‘Yeah, that was back when you were still the town drunk,’ Ellen smiled.

‘Who says I’m not anymore,’ Bobby said.

Jo rolled her eyes. ‘Okay, enough with the old people flirting,’ she said, grabbing Bobby’s beer and taking a swig of it. ‘I’ve seen enough of that for today, thank you.’

Dean sniggered.

‘So, who are we still waiting for?’

‘Just Jody,’ Ellen said.

‘No Sam?’

Dean shook his head. _{He has work}_

 _{Don’t you?}_ Jo asked Dean.

_{They can live without me}_

At this point, Cas was beginning to feel a little overwhelmed, and fiddled with the bottle in his hand, in an attempt to distract himself.

Ellen and Jo took Dean into the kitchen, leaving Bobby and Cas alone.

‘He seems different,’ Bobby said after a minute. ‘Dean. I think you’ve done him some good.’

‘I hope so,’ Cas mumbled.

‘He was what you’d call “troubled” as a kid. He told you why?’

Cas nodded.

‘Yeah, it was tough. We all missed Mary, but Dean… well, you know how it is. Their dad wasn’t around much either.’

‘I know a little of what that’s like.’

Bobby grimaced. ‘They stayed here with me a lot. I like to think I took good care of ‘em.’

‘I think you did,’ Cas said.

Bobby took another swig of his beer. ‘You’re all right, kid. I gotta say though, I had no idea Dean was… you know.’

‘That’s because you didn’t hang out with him enough’ Jo said, returning to the living room with an arm full of snacks, which she dumped on Bobby’s desk. ‘Trust me, if you did, you would have seen this coming a mile away.’

 _{What’s that supposed to mean}_ Dean asked her after he put down a crate of beer.

‘Oh, please! Whenever we even went near the barracks you checked out literally every soldier you saw. Especially when they were in uniform. Worst boyfriend ever.’

‘Boyfriend?’ Cas asked. ‘What?’

‘Yeah we were like, teenage sweethearts or whatever.’

‘What was that like?’ Cas asked, smiling.

‘Oh, regular walk in the park. Nothing like watching your boyfriend eye up every dude in a set of camo pants,’ Jo laughed.

 _{That is not true}_ Dean said, turning red.

 _{Are you sure?}_ Cas grinned.

Dean tutted, but before he could say anything else, there was a jingling outside, and a woman with cropped dark hair, wearing a police uniform let herself in. ‘Hey!’ she exclaimed, hurrying over to Dean and wrapping her arms around his neck. ‘How’re you doing?’

She let go and Dean cleared his throat. ‘I’m doing good, Jody,’ he said.

Her mouth dropped open. ‘Oh my God! Dean, that’s amazing!’ Then, she caught sight of Cas on the couch, who stood up to greet her. ‘Is this him?’

Dean nodded, and Jody rushed over to Cas and hugged him too.

‘It’s so good to meet you,’ she said happily.

‘You too… Sheriff,’ he added, noticing her badge.

‘Mills, Jody Mills,’ she said, shaking his hand warmly. ‘I brought food, anyone want to help me haul it in?’

‘What’d you bring? Can we put it on the grill?’ Bobby called.

‘Yeah, I think so.’

‘I’ll bring out the cooler, then.’

The next hour or so was spent setting up an eating space outside, and soon, Dean was hovering over the grill cooking.

Jo came and sat next to Cas on the makeshift bench. ‘How are you doing?’ she asked.

Cas shrugged.

‘I get it. We’re a lot to handle. Bobby’s constantly crabby, Jody talks a million miles an hour. We all love Sam and Dean though. Dean used to get in trouble a lot, and Sam wanted to go into law, so Jody sorta took ‘em under her wing.’

‘I love them too,’ Cas said.

‘Yeah, I can tell. No way you’d come to this dump otherwise.’

‘It’s not-’

Jo raised her eyebrows.

‘Well, I wasn’t going to say it.’

Jo chuckled and swigged her beer.

‘What happened with you two?’ Cas asked.

‘Aside from the ogling, you mean? I don’t know, I guess we just realised that we were better as friends. He’s more like a brother now than anything.’

Cas nodded.

‘Don’t tell me you’re jealous?’ Jo teased.

‘No, not at all. I’m just - not a woman.’

Jo laughed out loud. ‘It’s not about parts for him. It never was. I don’t know what it is exactly, that’s for him to figure out, but as far as I know, he doesn’t care as long as you can accept him the way he is. Although, his appreciation for uniforms does run deep.’

Cas was quiet for a minute, waiting for Jo to take another sip, then said, ‘Is it any uniform, or specifically army?’ causing beer to come out of her nose.

She got up to grab a burger from Dean saying, ‘I like him.’

Once all the food was finished cooking, Dean brought over a couple of burgers and sat beside Cas. He took a few bites of his burger, then leaned against Cas.

‘You tired?’ Cas asked, and Dean nodded. ‘Why don’t you finish your burger and go to bed? You drove a long way today.’

Dean nodded and chewed on his burger a little more, then got up and took Cas by the hand to show him where the bedroom was.

Cas tucked him in and kissed him goodnight, then went back outside with everyone else. It was beginning to get dark, and someone had lit a fire.

‘Hey,’ Jody said, smiling at him as he came back out. ‘He all tucked up?’

Cas nodded and went over to them.

‘You not tired yet?’

‘I slept in the car.’

Jody smiled at him. ‘So we were just on the phone to Sam-’

‘Talking about you, obviously,’ said Jo.

‘Thank you, Jo,’ Jody said. ‘He told us about your parents.’

Cas inhaled sharply.

‘How old were you when they kicked you out?’ she asked gently.

‘Seventeen,’ he mumbled.

‘And how long were you homeless for?’

The rest of them fell silent, waiting for his answer.

‘Just a couple months,’ he said, trying to brush it off.

‘Oh, honey.’ Jody wrapped her arms around him, catching him by surprise. ‘You didn’t deserve that.’

Cas felt a pang in his chest and tears prick at his eyes. He hugged Jody back and soon felt everyone else join in.

‘Well that was lame,’ Jo said as they all broke apart.

‘Nothin’ wrong with a group hug,’ Ellen smiled.

‘What’s the statute of limitations in Wisconsin?’ Bobby asked.

‘Six years,’ Cas answered. ‘Too late now.’

‘Say we don’t go the legal route.’

Jody gave him a withering look. ‘Say you don’t talk about stuff like around an officer.’

‘Right, but this is hypothetical.’

Cas shifted uncomfortable. ‘Hypothetically say my dad owned a boat.’

Jody rolled her eyes.

‘Go on,’ said Jo, face lighting up.

‘Well, hypothetically, if Dean and I went sailing, then, hypothetically, we might forget to tie the boat up.’

‘It might hypothetically get lost,’ Bobby finished for him, nodding in approval. ‘Hypothetically, I’d say he deserved it.’

Cas sniffed and wiped his face.

‘Yeah, what an ass,’ Jo said.

They stayed out for another couple of hours, but once the sun had gone down, Cas’s eyelids began to droop, so he said goodnight and made his way to Dean’s room. He changed into his pyjamas and slid into the bed next to Dean. Dean stirred slightly, but soon fell back to sleep, with Cas’s arm draped over his side.

The next morning, Cas woke up feeling slightly nauseous, but it wasn’t too bad, so they stretched out their time until they had to leave. They said goodbye to Bobby and Ellen, then set out on the long drive home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to Suchafangirl23, snips92, twistedshadows, QueenofHearts and liesje_86 for the comments. Love you guys!  
> Tune in next week for more.


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

By the time they arrived at their first motel, Cas was extremely crabby, suffering from strong cramps that forced him into the back seat of the car during the last few hours of that day’s driving.

Dean helped him out of the car and he stumbled into the motel, clutching one of the heat pads Dean had bought him close to his stomach.

Dean had also stopped and bought himself a new notepad along the way, so Cas let him check them in.

‘What’s wrong with him?’ the teenager at the desk asked, nodding at Cas.

‘None of your business,’ Cas snapped.

Dean put a calming hand on his back, then wrote more on the notepad.

‘Yeah, we’ve got a tea kettle. I’ll have it brought to your room.’

Dean led the way to their room, refusing to let Cas carry his own bag. Once inside, Cas went straight to the bed and threw himself down, face first, groaning. He felt the bed sink next to him, and Dean’s hand return to his back, rubbing gently. He just groaned again.

‘Cas.’

He sighed and rolled over, wincing. ‘What?’ he grumbled.

_{Do you need anything?}_

‘No.’

_{What about a hot water bottle?}_

‘...Maybe.’

Dean chuckled. _{I’ll get us something to eat}_ He left Cas alone to curl up on the bed until the boy from the front desk knocked on the door.

Cas groaned again and forced himself up. He answered the door, and the boy handed him the tea kettle.

‘You know, my mom says that Ibuprofen is good for period cramps,’ the boy laughed.

Cas closed the door on him, then went back to the bed. He had managed to get to sleep by the time Dean returned with a few bags. He filled the kettle with water and set it on the stove, then began cooking some macaroni and cheese for them both.

Cas was woken by the sound of the kettle announcing that the water was ready with a high pitched whistle. He opened his eyes and saw Dean gingerly take the kettle off the stove.

‘Careful, it’s hot,’ Cas murmured.

Dean turned and smiled.

In his sleep, Cas’s nausea had turned to a ravenous hunger, so he was glad to see Dean already cooking, though his cramps had not subsided.

Dean carefully poured the water in the bottle, and wrapped it in one of the blankets he’d pulled from the car, then gently eased it into Cas’s arms. Then he got a glass of water and passed Cas some painkillers.

‘Time already?’ Cas murmured.

Dean nodded and Cas swallowed them.

‘You take such good care of me,’ he said, grabbing Dean’s hand. ‘Is there any way I can repay you?’ He pulled Dean down and kissed him, one hand on the back of his neck, the other grabbing at Dean’s belt.

Dean laughed, but stood up and readjusted his belt. _{The food}_ he signed, going back to the pasta.

Cas sighed. ‘Maybe later then.’

Dean was still chuckling when he plated up the food and put it on the spindly table in their room.

Cas stood up, but a little too quickly, and his head spun. He dropped the bottle and held his hands out until he regained his balance.

Dean half stood up, but Cas waved him away and sat himself down.

‘I’m fine,’ he said. ‘Just stood up too fast.’

Dean nodded and dug into his food, but not taking his eyes off Cas.

‘You’re staring,’ Cas said eventually.

Dean put his fork down. _{I like looking at you}_

Cas rolled his eyes. ‘And?’

_{We should call your doctor-}_

‘No.’

_{Why not? She can send an emergency paper to-}_

_{I don’t want to waste time}_

_{It’s not wasting time. I don’t mind going home a different route}_

_{It’s just two more days}_

_{Two days you’ll be sick for}_

_{I’ll survive}_

Dean groaned and leaned back in his chair. _{Why are you so stubborn about this?}_

_{There’s no need to inconvenience anyone. It’s not life or death. It’s my fault I forgot them}_

_{But it’s not an inconvenience}_

Cas just shook his head and went back to his food.

Dean grumbled under his breath, but Cas pretended he didn’t hear anything.

Once he’d finished his food, Cas picked up his hot water bottle and went back to bed, while Dean cleaned up the room.

‘What should we do tonight?’ Cas asked, staring at the ceiling. ‘How tired are you?’

Dean lay down beside him. _{I am tired. Maybe you can drive tomorrow}_

‘I can’t. I don’t have a license.’

Dean looked incredulous. _{You know how to sail but not how to drive?}_

‘I know how to drive, I just never took my test.’

_{You have to do that when we get back}_

‘As if you’d ever let me drive your car anyway.’

_{Good point}_

Cas laughed and shuffled closer, so Dean could put an arm around him.

Without even getting under the covers, both of them fell asleep before the sun had even gone down.

When Cas woke up, it was just before dawn, and his cramps had dissipated, but replaced with a dull ache across his back and shoulders. He lay in silence, waiting for the sun to come up. Although he shouldn’t have, he allowed his mind to wander, and was soon thinking about his family.

‘When I was little,’ he murmured, not entirely sure that Dean was awake, ‘I wanted to be just like my dad. I thought he was the most important person in the world. Always wearing nice suits and always said such long words. When I was older, I realised that they didn’t actually mean he was important, but that’s not the point. I wanted to be just like him. I even went to the office with him a few times and made extra sure I didn’t interrupt or make any noise. I thought if I could do everything just right, he’d see my potential and what I could do. This was before I knew about…’

Dean then confirmed he was awake and listening, by softly tracing around Cas’s temple with his fingers.

‘Your family are great,’ Cas continued. ‘They accepted you - and me - without question… I wish my dad could do that.’

Dean sighed and kissed him on the forehead.

‘I wish I could go back to when I thought there was still a chance I could convince him to care for me.’

Dean adjusted them until Cas was completely enfolded in his embrace.

‘I’m sorry,’ Cas whispered, his eyes leaking onto Dean’s chest.

Dean shook his head.

‘It hurts.’

‘I know.’

Cas balled up his fists, but let himself cry a little more.

Dean rubbed his back and waited for the tears to subside, but then a phone started to vibrate.

‘Who is that at this time?’ Cas sniffed. It turned out to be his phone, and he answered it with a croaky, ‘Hello?’

At the other end, all he heard was yelling, something smashing, then a gleeful giggle.

‘Hello?’ Cas said again.

‘It’s me,’ the voice said in a stage whisper.

‘Gabriel?’

‘That’s the one.’

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Well-’ He was interrupted by another crash. ‘Dad wanted to go fishing this morning, and it’s gone. I guess someone must not have tied it up properly.’ Gabriel laughed some more. ‘But, uh, you left some of your “fun stuff” in the boathouse.’

‘Oh no,’ Cas groaned.

‘Yeah, so we’ve got a pretty good idea of where it went. Also, I don’t think Dad wants this boathouse anymore.’ There was more crashing. ‘Whoa, gotta go.’ He hung up before Cas could say anything else.

 _{I wondered where that went}_ Dean signed lazily, a small but smug smile on his face.

‘It’s not funny, Dean,’ Cas said, sitting up. ‘Where’d you put those painkillers?’

_{In the drawer next to the sink}_

Cas went over and took what he could with a glass of water. ‘If you’re still tired from all the driving, take as many breaks as you need today.’

Dean nodded and went back to sleep.

Cas’s thoughts were racing too much for him to be able to get back to sleep, so he quietly got dressed and went outside to get some fresh air.

It was cool and refreshing, and Cas wandered around the parking lot. He eventually made his way to the Impala and sat on the hood, watching the sunrise.

Dean found him out there a couple of hours later, and brought him a cup of coffee.

‘Thanks,’ Cas said, taking it.

Dean then joined him on the hood.

‘Did you really mean what you said?’ Cas asked, brow furrowing.

_{Be more specific}_

Cas looked away. ‘The- the loving me thing,’ he muttered.

Dean sighed. _{Did you mean it when you said it?}_

‘What? Of course-’

_{What makes you think I didn’t?}_

Cas stared at him and saw the sincerity, but there was a small part of him that didn’t quite believe it.

Dean must have seen it on his face. _{I understand. You just need time}_ Dean hugged him, but it was slightly awkward, with Cas trying not to spill his coffee on the car. Dean kissed him lightly, then hopped off the hood. _{Let’s go}_

 

It was another long day of driving, and they went straight to sleep once they’d checked in to that night’s motel. The next day would be their last day of driving, but Dean woke late and Cas could tell that he was still worn out. ‘Rest a little longer,’ Cas said. ‘Let me get you some breakfast.’ He made his way to the breakfast bar that they’d seen on their way over, and picked up a stack of pancakes and a few strips of bacon, with a cup of steaming coffee.

Dean was sitting up in bed when Cas arrived with the food, and his face lit up. _{Breakfast in bed}_ he grinned.

‘You deserve it,’ Cas smiled, placing the plate down on his lap, and the coffee on the nightstand. He then sat down at the table, reading a baking magazine he’d found at the breakfast bar. He was completely absorbed in it, and it took Dean knocking on the nightstand to get his attention.

He looked up.

 _{Are you having any}_ Dean asked, looking at him in concern.

Cas shook his head. ‘I don’t feel good. I’ll have something later, if we pass a Burger King or something.’

Dean snorted and finished his breakfast.

 

At long last, they arrived back at Cas’s apartment. Gracie came running out of the spare bedroom and jumped up on the counter, yowling loudly at Cas. He went over to the counter and she put her front paws on Cas’s chest, still yowling.

‘I missed you too,’ he said to her, scratching her under her chin.

She purred, then jumped onto his shoulder, rubbing her cheeks against his.

 _{That’s cute}_ Dean grinned, dumping his bag down. He came over to Cas, pet Gracie and kissed Cas.

‘It’s been a long day,’ Cas murmured, picking Gracie up off his shoulder and putting her back on the counter.

Dean nodded in agreement. _{I’m going to take a shower}_ he told Cas.

‘Okay. I’m going to go check on the bakery.’

Dean rolled his eyes, then gave Cas a quick peck before going into the bathroom.

Cas was glad of the short walk from his place to the bakery, but he was surprised to see Sam behind the counter.

‘Hey, you’re back!’ Sam said. ‘Try this muffin, I made it myself.’

Cas blinked and took it. ‘What’s going on?’

‘Alfie had something he needed to do, so I said I’d watch the place for him. That’s okay, right?’

‘I- of course, but-’

‘Try the muffin.’

Cas took a bite and was pleasantly surprise at the subtle lemon taste. ‘That’s really good, Sam. A little too much flour, but really good.’

Sam grinned, while Cas walked around and checked on everything.

‘So, how was your trip?’ Sam asked, leaning against the counter.

‘It was up and down, to tell you the truth.’

Cas looked around and suddenly noticed that Sam was grinning at him gleefully. ‘What?’ he asked.

‘So, you really said it, huh?’

‘What?’

‘Dean told me. You know, after you stormed out of your parents’ house.’

‘Ah.’ Cas smiled and ate a little more of the muffin.

‘I’m really happy for you guys.’

‘Thanks, Sam.’

‘And, hey, listen, you look exhausted. Take the rest of today off and you can start fresh tomorrow morning. I’ll leave your key in the usual place, okay?’

‘I appreciate that.’

‘Oh, before you go…’ Sam reached under the counter and pulled out a basket of odd-looking pastries. ‘Take this with you, I made them for you guys.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Now go on, go get some sleep.’ Sam chivvied Cas out of the door with the basket.

 

Cas opened the door to his apartment and froze in the threshold. He could hardly believe his ears, but, over the noise of the shower, Dean was singing, He didn’t recognise the song, but it was unmistakably Dean’s voice. Cas covered his mouth with his hand to muffle the gasp, and listened carefully. On the rare occasions that Dean spoke, his voice was always deep, and cracked from lack of use, but his singing voice was different. It sounded confident, moving from one note to the next without hesitation. It only lasted a few minutes, but Cas was transfixed the entire time. When he finished, Cas closed the door and called out, ‘I’m back,’ then put the basket on the counter, pushing Gracie away when she came sniffing at it. Not long after, Dean came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, smiling at Cas.

Cas strode over to him and kissed him, grabbing him by the back of the neck, not caring that Dean was soaking wet. ‘I love you,’ Cas said breathlessly, then pushing Dean up against the wall. ‘We’ve got the rest of the day off,’ he said, pulling off his sweater. ‘I say we make the most of it.’

Dean nodded fervently. He lifted Cas off his feet, but they didn’t make it to the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to snips92 and liesje_86 for the comments!  
> Just a note for you guys, I'm moving house over the next couple of weeks, so I'll try to update when I can, but it won't be anything regular for a while.  
> See you next time!


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

A week after Cas and Dean had arrived home, Cas was back to normal, for the most part. Dean’s things were still lying in Cas’s room. Instead of taking them back to his place, he had just kept replenishing his bag with more clothes.

One night, Dean was working late, so Cas had settled down in his chair with a book and waited for him to come back. When he finally did, he had an uncomfortable expression on his face, and he was slightly flushed. He immediately got himself a glass of water and sat down on the couch.

‘What’s wrong?’ Cas asked, looking up from his book.

Dean shrugged. _{Cramps}_ he said, putting a hand on his stomach.

Cas put down his book and got down from his chair. ‘Dean, you’re burning up,’ he said, putting a hand to Dean’s forehead.

Dean pushed away Cas’s hand. _{It’s fine}_ he said.

‘Are you sure? You don’t look so good.’

_{I just need some water and sleep}_

Cas nodded. ‘Then let’s get you to bed.’

Dean got up and groaned, rubbing his back.

‘That hurts?’

Dean nodded.

‘All right, you just lie down, I’ll bring you some water.’

Cas brought in a tall glass for Dean, then opened all the windows and joined Dean in bed.

 

Dean was restless that night, tossing and turning, throwing the blankets off, then pulling them back on again. He woke Cas up several times, until, towards dawn, he started shivering uncontrollably.

Cas sat up blearily and found that Dean had taken all the blankets and wrapped himself in a cocoon. Cas put a hand on the roll of blankets and felt Dean still shivering beneath it.

‘Dean…’ He found Dean’s face deep under the covers and touched his cheek. ‘Dean, you’re really hot,’ Cas said in alarm.

Dean said nothing, but continued to shiver.

Cas got up and brought him more water, which he gulped down. ‘You should eat something,’ Cas said. ‘Keep your strength up.’ He made Dean a couple of slices of toast, but he only managed a few bites before pushing it away.

‘But, Dean-’

Dean shook his head forcefully, then started signing _{Trash can}_ over and over.

Cas was confused for a moment, but then he understood, and scrambled out to the living room to grab the trash can from it, the got it back to Dean just in time for him to vomit into it. Cas rubbed his back and got him more water. It was almost time for him to leave for the bakery, but he didn’t want to leave Dean in this state.

 _{Go}_ Dean said, correctly reading his body language.

‘But-’

 _{Go}_ Dean insisted. _{I’ll text if I need anything}_

Cas bit his lip, but started getting ready. He quickly threw on some clothes and went digging through the drawers and cabinets in the kitchen. ‘I’m sure I had a thermometer somewhere,’ he muttered to himself, but he couldn’t find it anywhere. Instead, he soaked a cloth in some cold water, and filled a tall glass, then brought them both to Dean. He placed the glass down on the nightstand, and sat down on the edge of the bed.

Dean was still shivering fiercely, but Cas made him sit up, so he could dab the cold cloth on Dean’s forehead and the back of his neck. He slumped against Cas and Cas could feel the heat radiating from him.

‘Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?’ Cas asked, watching him take a shaky sip of water.

Dean nodded, pulling the blankets back around himself. He managed a tremulous smile, but Cas wasn’t convinced, so he put Dean’s phone within arm’s reach.

‘Text me if you need anything. _Anything,’_ he instructed, refilling Dean’s water before finally leaving his apartment.

He was late getting to the bakery, and rattled around the kitchen trying to get things ready before opening. He quickly texted Alfie, _Can you bring me a thermometer on your way in?_

 _What kind? People or food?_ Alfie asked.

_People._

He eventually managed to open, though a little late again, but his mind was on Dean, so much so that he forgot to decorate some of his cupcakes until Alfie arrived and pointed it out.

‘What’s going on?’ Alfie asked, grabbing the new thermometer out of his pocket.

‘Dean’s sick,’ Cas told him. ‘I lost my thermometer. Can you hold on here a minute? I’ll be right back.’ He dashed out of the bakery and around the corner, back to his apartment.

He found Dean asleep, with all the blankets thrown off. He was pale, but covered in a sheen of sweat. Cas dithered in the doorway, loathe to wake Dean up when he’d had such a terrible night, but before he could decide what to do, Dean woke up on his own and curled up into a ball, hugging his stomach.

‘How are you feeling?’ Cas asked, crouching next to the bed.

Dean just groaned.

Cas opened the thermometer, carefully reading the instructions. ‘I’m just gonna put this in your ear, all right? Try and hold still.’

Dean nodded and waited while Cas took his temperature.

‘102,’ Cas frowned. ‘That’s bad.’

Dean groaned again.

‘Does it still hurt?’ Cas asked.

Dean nodded.

‘Dean, I think we have to go to the hospital.’

Dean shook his head.

‘Come on, Dean, this could be serious. Don’t make me call Sam.’

Dean tried to sit up, but couldn’t. _{I’m fine}_ he signed with shaking hands.

‘Of course you’re not.’

 _{I’m not going}_ He rolled over and threw up into the trash can that Cas had left for him, and Cas raised his eyebrows.

‘All right, I’m calling Sam.’ He dialled Sam’s number and waited while it rang.

_‘Cas? What’s up?’_

‘Sam, Dean’s sick and I think he has to go to the hospital, but he won’t listen to me.’

‘ _What? How sick?’_

‘He has a really high fever, and he says his stomach and back hurt.’

_‘Hold on, let me put my friend on. She’s a nurse.’_

Cas put the phone on speaker and waited.

‘ _So, what’s going on?’_ a woman’s voice asked. _‘I’m Jess, by the way.’_

‘Jess, we were just trying to convince Dean to go to the hospital,’ Cas explained to her.

‘ _All right, what are his symptoms?’_

Cas repeated what he had told Sam.

‘ _Where on his back does it hurt?’_ Jess asked, a slightly worried tone replacing her previously amused one.

Dean moved painfully and showed Cas.

‘Lower back, but a little on the left.’

_‘Does it hurt when he pees?’_

Cas looked at Dean. ‘Does it?’

Dean hesitated, but eventually nodded.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ Cas asked.

Dean sighed.

‘ _Yeah, like he’s going to tell a guy he likes it burns when he pees,’_ Sam’s voice came from down the phone.

‘I think we’re past that, Dean,’ Cas said.

 _‘Okay, let’s deal with relationship issues later, Dean needs to go to the hospital,’_ Jess said. _‘I’m not a doctor, but it sounds like a kidney infection to me, and if it is, he needs to go and get it treated before there’s any damage.’_

 _‘That sounds bad,’_ Sam said. _‘I gotta finish up here, but I’ll meet you guys there.’_

‘All right, thanks guys,’ Cas said, hanging up the phone. He then texted Alfie, _Close up the bakery, I have to take Dean to the hospital._

_Got it. Hope everything’s okay._

He put his phone in his pocket, then helped Dean up. ‘You’re going to be fine,’ Cas said to Dean, walking him across the apartment. ‘We’ll get you to the hospital and they’ll fix you up good as new.’

Dean nodded, holding him tightly.

They went out to the car, and Cas put Dean in the back seat. He then climbed into the driver’s seat, and put his hands on the wheel. ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered to the car. It had been a long time since he’d driven anywhere, and he knew it wouldn’t be easy on the car.

He carefully maneuvered the car out of his street, and started towards the hospital. It was the most nerve wracking drive of his life, triple checking everything before he did it, and terrified of being pulled over and unable  to produce a license. He winced every time he changed gears and heard the clutch crunch slightly.

They eventually made it to the hospital, Cas having developed a headache from the stress of driving through town. He parked the car and helped Dean out of the back seat, who was shivering violently again, and had flushed a deep red during the drive over.

Cas held Dean’s hand tightly, and they walked into the emergency room together.

It seemed quiet, with few people in the waiting room. Cas sat Dean down and approached the receptionist. Before he could say anything, she handed him a clipboard with a form attached and told him to fill it in. He took it back to Dean and helped him fill it in, then brought it back to the receptionist.

‘The doctor will see you soon,’ she told him, setting about transferring the form on to the computer.

Dean leaned against Cas while they waited, eyes closed.

Cas stared around the room, watching every single door he could see, waiting nervously for Dean’s name to be called.

‘It’s going to be fine,’ Cas murmured.

 _{Who are you trying to convince, me or you?}_ Dean signed without opening his eyes, smiling slightly.

‘How can you still make jokes when you’re sick?’

_{Easily}_

Cas rolled his eyes. ‘I don’t get it. I’m always too cranky to joke when I’m sick.’

 _{I know}_ He started laughing, but stopped and shifted, groaning.

‘They’ll get to you soon, don’t worry,’ Cas said, putting an arm around Dean’s shoulders.

At last, a doctor appeared in a doorway a few feet to the right of them, staring down at the clipboard in his hand. ‘Dean Winchester?’ he called, looking up.

Dean stop up, wincing, and Cas helped him move forward, with a hand at his back.

‘Dean?’ the doctor said again.

Dean nodded.

‘And you are?’ the doctor said to Cas.

‘I’m Cas, I’m Dean’s partner.’

‘Are you married?’

‘N-no.’

‘Then, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to wait out here.’

‘What?’

‘Sorry, family only.’ He began to turn away, but Cas stopped him.

‘Wait, Dean is mute and he uses sign language. He needs an interpreter, it says so on the form.’

‘We have one on standby. Please wait here,’ the doctor said shortly.

 _{I’ll be fine}_ Dean told him, moving to follow the doctor. He was already slumping where he stood, so Cas let him go without any further arguments.

 _{I love you}_ he signed.

Dean nodded and went into the room.

He waited and waited, but after an hour had passed, Cas strode over to the receptionist. ‘Excuse me,’ he said politely. ‘My partner went in an hour ago and he hasn’t come out yet…’

‘Name?’

‘Dean Winchester.’

The receptionist typed on her computer, then. ‘I’m sorry, I can’t discuss any further details with you without a family member present.’

Cas deflated. ‘But…’

She gave him a sympathetic look. ‘I can tell you he’s been admitted, so if you want to wait, feel free.’

Cas nodded and sat back down, deciding to wait for Sam to get there. In the meantime, Cas’s mind began to race. What could they be admitting Dean for? What if it was really serious? What if he had to have surgery of some kind and Cas was just sitting out in the waiting room. He considered going to Dean himself, but he had no idea where to find him. He settled on chewing on his fingernails, which he hadn’t done in a very long time, while he waited.

His mind had just began sprinting through what the effects of losing a kidney might be, when Sam finally arrived.

‘Hey, what’s going on?’ Sam asked, a little out of breath.

Cas stood up, wringing his hands. ‘I don’t know, they won’t tell me anything.’

‘What? Why not?’

‘Because I’m not family,’ Cas mumbled.

‘That’s ridiculous.’

Cas shrugged. ‘Just policy, I guess.’

The receptionist looked relieved that Sam had arrived and happily told them where to find Dean.

Cas followed Sam to the urology department, and to the ward Dean was on.

They were stopped at the entrance and were asked questions by a nurse at a desk.

‘I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to wait outside,’ she said to Cas. ‘It’s family only during non-visiting hours.’

‘But-’ Sam began.

‘It’s fine,’ Cas interrupted. ‘Just go and see if he’s all right.’

Sam nodded. ‘Okay, I’ll come and tell you what’s going on later.’

‘There are some chairs just across the hall, if you wanted to wait there,’ the nurse said.

‘Thanks.’

Cas went back out and found the chairs the nurse had mentioned. He felt a little better knowing that Dean was close and that Sam was with him, so he relaxed a little and leaned back in his chair. If Dean was on a ward, then it might not be as bad as he had thought.

At last, Sam exited the ward.

‘How is he?’ Cas asked anxiously.

‘Why don’t you ask him yourself?’

‘What?’

‘I might have mentioned I’m a lawyer and maybe threatened to sue them if they didn’t let you in?’

‘ _Sam!’_

‘What? I wouldn’t actually sue them, now come on, he’s been asking for you.’

Cas followed Sam onto the ward. Dean was at the far end, already in a hospital gown, and working on a lunch that the nurses had given him. His face lit up when he saw Cas, and the knot in Cas’s stomach untied itself. Dean was already looking better, but Cas frowned at the sight of two IV lines attached to him.

‘The doctor did some tests and put him on fluids and antibiotics,’ Sam told him. ‘He was really dehydrated and he said that it’s a pretty nasty kidney infection. They’re doing an ultrasound on him tomorrow to check his kidneys for damage, and if it looks good, he should be out of here in a couple of days, once the course of antibiotics is done.’

‘How did this happen?’ Cas asked.

Sam shrugged. ‘Lots of ways,’ he said. ‘I gotta go, so text me how it’s going later. They say you can stay as long as you want, since their interpreter has to go home at some point.’

‘Thanks, Sam.’

Sam smiled and made his way back down the ward, leaving Cas and Dean alone, but for the other occupants of the ward.

‘Hey,’ Cas said softly, sitting in the chair next to the bed.

Dean grinned and offered him the cup of Jell-O sitting on the lunch tray.

‘Thank you,’ Cas said, taking it. He hadn’t realised how hungry he was. He took a spoonful, but scrunched up his nose at the sudden, sour taste. Then he heard Dean laughing, so he checked the label on the cup.

‘Lime,’ he said. ‘I was expecting apple.’

Dean laughed more.

 _[How are you feeling?}_ Cas asked, after finishing the Jell-O.

 _{Better}_ Dean signed. _{Tired}_

_{Go to sleep. You’re in a bed. That’s what they’re for}_

Dean smiled and leaned back in the bed. _{I love you}_ he signed.

Cas squeezed the hand that wasn’t attached to a drip. _{While you sleep, I’ll go and get some fresh clothes for you, and see if I can sneak some better snacks}_

_{You’re the best}_

Cas smiled. ‘Get some rest.’ He kissed Dean on his still hot forehead. ‘I’ll be back.’

The nurses let him out and told him to come back anytime.

Cas went back to his apartment and quickly packed a bag with some of the snacks that Dean had filled his cabinets with, then grabbed the clean clothes out of his bag in the bedroom. He then picked up a few of the magazines Dean had left on the counter. Then, on his way back to the hospital, he picked up a portable cassette player, and bundled up the tapes in Dean’s car for him.

He tiptoed back through the ward with the bag, seeing from the entrance that Dean was asleep. He quietly settled himself down next to Dean, with a book and some of the snacks.

Dean woke up in time for dinner, which they shared, and started going through the bag that Cas had brought. A peculiar look came over his face as he pulled out some of the things Cas had packed for him.

‘What is it?’ Cas asked. ‘Did I forget something?’

Dean shook his head. _{It’s perfect}_ His face had softened and his eyes were suddenly wet.

‘What’s wrong?’ Cas asked.

_{Nothing}_

Cas wiped away a tear that was falling down his cheek. ‘Tell me.’

_{You know me so well}_

‘What?’

_{I didn’t know. It’s nice}_

‘Oh, Dean…’

 

_{I love you. So much}_

_{I love you too}_ Cas moved his chair as close as he could to the bed, so Dean could lean against him.

He went back to sleep not long after, and Cas joined him after the nurses gave him a blanket and a more comfortable chair.

Dean’s ultrasound was early the next morning, and they both were woken up by a porter with a wheelchair.

‘We won’t be long,’ the porter said to Cas after Dean had sat down in the chair. ‘He’s the first in for it this morning.’ He smiled at Cas and began wheeling Dean out of the ward. Cas watched him go, then settled back down for a nap while he waited.

Dean’s breakfast arrived while he was gone, and when Cas woke up, he was climbing back into bed and eyeing it hungrily.

‘How did it go?’ Cas mumbled blearily.

 _{All clear}_ Dean told him, then going for the small jar of syrup and pouring it on his pancakes.

‘Really?’ Cas smiled.

Dean nodded, his mouth full. _{The doctor is coming later to tell us more}_ Dean shared his breakfast again, which Cas supplemented with some of their snacks.

Cas stayed with him all that day, then, after the doctor told them he would be free to go the next day, he stayed another night.

It was a huge relief when Dean was unhooked from his IVs, and Cas winced with him when the cannula was removed. They were given a box of oral antibiotics and instructed to finish the course, then they were finally free.

Cas tried to insist that he would drive them home, but Dean would not allow it, and relished being in the driver’s seat again. Cas rested his hand on Dean’s thigh while the drove, squeezing it lightly. ‘I’m glad you’re all right,’ Cas said. ‘I was worried.’

Dean seemed himself again, driving his own car and wearing his own clothes. The only evidence that anything had been amiss was the band-aid where the cannula had been, and the remaining vestiges of fatigue on his face.

He took them home the long way round, but finally pulled up outside Cas’s apartment. They went inside, and Dean flopped down on the couch, sighing contentedly.

Cas locked the door behind them and gave Gracie a large bowl of food and some extra treats to relieve the angry expression on her face. He looked up and caught Dean smiling at him. He returned it, then looked around the room, noticing all of Dean’s things that had been accumulating on all the surfaces, right down to the spare pair of Dean’s boots by the door. He looked back up at Dean, who was still smiling, and thought back over the last few weeks. How many times had Dean been home? Three or four times, and only then to do laundry. Then he realised that he hadn’t wanted Dean to go any of those times. His heart jumped to his throat, but he had an inkling that Dean hadn’t wanted to go either. He wandered over to the couch and knelt next to it, leaning is head and arms on the arm.

Dean rolled over onto his stomach, with his face close to Cas’s.

‘I don’t want you to go home,’ Cas said simply.

Dean just looked confused, so Cas steeled himself.

‘Move in with me?’

Dean’s eyes widened and his mouth opened in surprise.

‘I know it’s small,’ Cas began to babble, ‘but you can have the spare room for your stuff, and if you don’t like it, maybe we can look for somewhere else, or-’

Dean interrupted him. _{Can we get a TV}_

‘Of course.’

_{I’d love to}_

‘Really?’

‘Really.’ He leaned forward and kissed Cas. _{I think Sam could use the extra space}_ Dean told him once he’d pulled away. _{He thinks I don’t know that J-e-s-s is his girlfriend, but she is not quiet}_

‘That’s not something I needed to know,’ Cas said, standing up.

 _{If I have to know it, then you have to know it}_ Dean stood up too and pulled Cas into a long hug.

‘Thank you for taking care of me,’ Dean whispered in Cas’s ear.

‘It was my pleasure,’ Cas whispered back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to snips92, Suchafangirl23, QueenofHearts and liesje_86 for the comments!  
> Still in mid-move, but had a few spare hours for this. Keep an eye out in the next couple of weeks and we might be able to get back to normal.


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

Sam was elated when Dean told him he was moving in with Cas. He cleared his schedule at work and began dividing up the furniture with Dean. He immediately let Dean have the TV. He never used it anyway, and Dean would miss it more than he would.

The rest wasn’t so easy. Dean tried to argue his case for the couch, but Sam wouldn’t allow it.

_[Where would you put it? Cas has a couch. His place is too small for another}_

Dean shrugged, unable to come up with an argument. _{I get the blankets}_

Sam scoffed. ‘Whatever, take all the blankets you want. Let’s just get this stuff in the van, okay?’

Other than the TV, Dean didn’t have much else to take with him, so they only needed one trip in the van.

Cas was waiting outside his front door for them to arrive. Gracie was in his arms, in her new harness and leash.

‘You walk the cat now?’ Sam asked him.

‘She was getting restless,’ Cas said. ‘I’m going to walk her around while you guys get everything in. She won’t like all the activity.’

‘Sure. We won’t be long,’ Sam smiled.

Cas place Gracie down and began walking, allowing her to go at her own pace and sniffing at whatever she wanted. He too had closed the bakery for the day, mostly to get Gracie out of the way. He took her past the bakery, and she purred as she recognised Cas’s scent at the door. Eventually, Sam texted him to say they were finished, so they made their way back to the apartment.

The van was gone, and so was Sam, so Cas and Gracie returned to Dean alone in the apartment, arranging his things.

Cas took the harness off of Gracie and hung it up, then saw Dean dithering with a battered-looking frame in his hand.

‘What’s that?’ Cas asked.

Dean hesitated, biting his lip, but turned it around to show Cas a picture of a smiling, blonde woman, holding a baby in one arm, and holding the hand of a small boy with the other hand. Cas moved towards him and thought he recognised the woman, then it occurred to him. ‘Your mother?’ he asked quietly.

Dean nodded, gently rubbing the frame with his thumb.

‘Where do you want to put her?’

Dean looked uncertain, his eyes wide and vulnerable.

‘Where does she usually go?’

Dean gestured towards the bedroom.

‘Next to the bed? All right, let’s put her there.’ Cas smiled and Dean held the photo close to his chest as they went into the bedroom.

Dean gently placed the photo on his bedside table. He kissed his finger, then tapped it against the photo. _{You don’t mind?}_ he asked Cas.

‘Of course not.’

Dean squeezed his hand. _{I should get back to work}_ he said. _{I love you}_ He kissed Cas on the cheek, then left the apartment, careful not to let Gracie outside. She had been trying to escape every time the door opened, since Cas had started walking her outside.

Cas was considering whether or not to open the bakery for the afternoon, when he got a text from Sam.

_Meet me at the cafe on the other side of town. I need to talk to you._

He raised his eyebrows in surprise, but agreed to meet and made his way to the small cafe.

Sam was already there and had ordered a coffee for them both.

‘What’s wrong?’ Cas asked as he sat down.

Sam avoided his gaze, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. ‘I just need to talk to you.’

‘About what?’

Sam sighed. ‘It’s about Dean.’

‘What about him? Is he all right?’ Cas asked, gripping the edge of the table anxiously.

‘Well…’

‘Sam, tell me.’

Sam nodded. ‘It’s just… Usually around this time of year, Dean gets a little weird.. You know, around the anniversary…’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Hold on, let me start over. Every year, when it starts to get cold, and it reminds Dean of the day our mother died. He starts to get crabby and distant, then his nightmares get really bad. He’ll usually take a trip back down to Lawrence to visit her grave, and he won’t sleep for literally days.’

Cas stared.

‘Now, normally I don’t just go around telling people this stuff, but since he’s moved in with you, I thought you should be prepared for it, so you know it’s not your fault.’

Cas was silent for a minute, absorbing what Sam had said to him. ‘Shouldn’t Dean be telling me this?’ he asked slowly.

‘Yeah, well, that’s another - I don’t know what to call it - tradition, I suppose. Every year he tries to convince himself that it’s not happening. Every single year.’

‘I see.’ Cas took a sip of his coffee.

‘Listen, I know he should talk to you about this himself, but he won’t until after it’s passed, and you guys are so great together, you really are,’ Sam rambled. ‘I don’t want this to get between you. It’s not his fault, obviously, but it’s definitely not yours, and I don’t want you to let it get to you.’

Cas held up a placating hand. ‘It’s all right, Sam. I wouldn’t let something like that break us apart anyway.’

Sam nodded and leaned back in his chair, though his brow was still furrowed slightly. ‘Good,’ he said.

They sat quietly until Cas said, ‘How’s Jess?’

‘Jess? She’s fine, I think.’

‘You think? Shouldn’t you know?’

Sam rolled his eyes when he realised what Cas was getting at. ‘Did Dean tell you she’s my girlfriend? ‘Cause she’s not.’

Cas smirked slightly. ‘I believe you,’ he lied.

They finished their coffee and got up.

‘Sam, wait,’ Cas said as Sam began to walk away.

‘What?’

Cas paused a moment. ‘Was it really that bad, what happened to your Mom?’

Sam looked away. ‘I saw the pictures once. Dad and Dean didn’t want me to, but I dug through Dad’s stuff while he was away once and I found them.’ He looked back up at Cas. ‘It was one of the most horrible things I’ve ever seen, and I don’t even remember her. I can’t even imagine what it must have been like for Dean. Being as close to her as he was, and seeing it in person… Yeah, it was awful.’

‘Thank you for sharing that with me, Sam.’

Sam shrugged. ‘Sometimes, for me, it’s like it happened to another person. I was only a baby when it happened, so it’s easy to brush it off, but not for Dean… Anyway, I have a client to prep. See you around, Cas.’

Cas let Sam go and wandered back to the apartment, having decided against opening the bakery that day. He found himself in their bedroom, staring at the picture of Sam and Dean’s mother. He hesitated, but then grabbed his laptop and, knowing he shouldn’t, Googled ‘Mary Winchester’. It took him a few minutes, not being well versed in surfing the web, but he found an article headlined _Mother of Two Dies in Terrible Blaze_ in the _Lawrence Daily Journal._ Cas rested his finger on the mousepad for a moment, then scrolled down.

  


_Lawrence residents were shocked last Tuesday night, as they woke to the sirens and smoke. The home of the Winchester family had been put to the torch by deranged stalker, Frederic Lehne. Lehne, already known to the police department, snuck out to the family home in the dead of night, then set the house alight. There is no further information on Lehne’s motives at this time._

_The fire spread quickly through the house, leaving little time for the family to escape. John Winchester, father and husband, was the first out of the house, as reported by the fire department, and was detained by police, after attempting to re-enter the home._

_Mary Winchester is so far the only fatality, pronounced dead at the scene with severe burns covering over eighty percent of her body._

_Her children escaped the fire through the actions of her oldest son, Dean, now hailed a hero. His quick thinking allowed him to run from the house with the baby, and leave him on the lawn, however, firefighters were unable to prevent him from returning to the house, in an effort to save his mother as well. He was found unconscious inside the house, and remains in critical care._

_Our thoughts and prayers are with the Winchester family, and we hope that Dean makes a speedy recovery._

  


‘Oh, Dean,’ Cas sighed, closing the laptop. He sat back in his seat, watching the fish for a while, deliberately ignoring the TV that was off centre and not plugged in. He knew that Dean would want to tinker with it himself.

Suddenly, the door opened and Cas jumped, falling out of his chair with a thump. He clambered back up, rubbing his head.

Dean laughed loudly, closing the door behind him.

‘You scared me,’ Cas grumbled. ‘What are you doing back here already? I thought you were at work.’

Dean came over to him, grinning widely, and holding something behind his back.

‘What is it?’ Cas said.

Dean presented him with a pie. It was clearly homemade, slightly sunken in the middle, and uneven at the edges, but it smelled delicious.

Cas’s eyes widened. ‘Did you make this?’

Dean nodded enthusiastically, and put it down on the counter. _{My favourite of your recipes. The first one I tried}_

_{The honey one?}_

Dean nodded and grabbed a couple of forks out of the drawer, handing one to Cas. They both took a bite each.

‘Wow. This is amazing, Dean,’ Cas said, going for another bite.

Dean grinned and helped Cas eat more of the pie, until it was almost finished.

Cas wrapped the rest of it up and put it away while Dean set up the TV. It took up a lot of space, but Cas decided he didn’t mind, if it made Dean happy.

Once it was ready, Dean sat down and gestured for Cas to join him.

 _{I need to tell you something}_ Dean signed, shifting in his seat until he was facing Cas.

 _{What is it?}_ Cas asked.

Dean looked around the room as if searching for the right words. _{This time of year is always tough}_ he said. _{It’s almost the anniversary of my mom’s death}_

Cas raised his eyebrows, nodding, and Dean noticed.

_{Sam already told you, didn’t he?}_

‘A little.’

Dean rolled his eyes, but looked relieved at not having to explain himself. _{My therapist said that it would be better if I told you, but he beat me to it}_

_{You’re not mad at Sam?}_

Dean shook his head. _{I understand}_

 _{I think therapy has been really good for you}_ Cas said.

 _{So do I}_ Dean shifted in his seat. _{There’s something else}_

_{What?}_

_{Will you come with me to visit her? My mom?}_

‘Really?’

Dean nodded, and Cas grabbed his hands.

‘I’d be honoured,’ he murmured. He leaned forward and kissed Dean on the cheek, then hugged him close. ‘I’m so proud of you,’ he whispered in Dean’s ear.

Dean reached his arms around, hugging Cas back. _{I’m proud of me}_ he smiled once he pulled away. He leaned back, with Cas snuggling into his shoulder while they watched a movie.

  


That night was the first night that Dean’s struggles became evident. Cas awoke in the middle of the night to Dean thrashing around and whimpering in his sleep. Cas tried to wake him, and narrowly missed being hit in the face when Dean struck out. Dean rolled over, finally awake, but eyes wide and fearful. He reached out and touched Cas’s face, breathing heavily.

‘I’m fine,’ Cas whispered. ‘You missed.’

Dean shuffled closer, clutching at Cas.

‘It’s all right,’ Cas whispered, rubbing his back. ‘I’ve got you.’

  


And so it went on over the next few weeks. Occasionally, Dean would sleep in the spare room, just so Cas could get a good night’s sleep, but most nights he slept in the bed with Cas, who comforted him whenever he woke up. He spent the minimum amount of time possible at work, and the rest helping Cas around the bakery, trying to take his mind off things.

There were deep shadows under his eyes they day they were leaving.

‘Are you sure you’re all right to drive?’ Cas asked.

Dean nodded, folding up a pair of jeans. He hadn’t said much recently, so Cas left him to his thoughts and dragged his bag to the car.

Alfie was again taking care of the bakery for them while they were away, so Cas waited patiently in the car for Dean to lock up and get in beside him. He’d brought plenty of reading material with him, so was content to allow Dean to drive in silence. He wasn’t even sure if Dean had slept at all in the last few days, falling asleep well before Dean ever came to bed.

  


The trip was mostly the same as it had been on the way back from Sioux Falls, sleeping in motels most nights, and spending hours on endless stretches of road. Cas had no idea where he was a lot of the time, but trusted that Dean did. He read his books, and wrote down his ideas when they came to him. In all the time they drove, Dean barely communicated, signing something every so often, but never carrying a conversation.

It was difficult, but Cas could tell that Dean appreciated being allowed space.

  


It was already dark when they arrived in Lawrence, so Dean took them to yet another motel, where he sat up at the table, staring out of the window. When Cas woke up the next morning, he was still there, staring. When he wouldn’t eat breakfast, Cas began to worry. Dean never refused food unless something was seriously wrong. He placed a hand over Dean’s. Dean flinched away, but then grimaced and put his hand back, squeezing hard. _{I have to go somewhere. I’ll be back}_

Cas smiled encouragingly, but Dean did not return it. He got up and left, so Cas waited, reading some more until he heard Dean sounding the horn of the car outside. He locked their motel door behind him and went out to the car.

Dean was in the drivers’ side, a small bunch of purple irises in his lap. _{Her favourite}_ he explained once Cas got in.

Cas said nothing, instead staring around at Dean’s hometown as they drove around it. Eventually, the houses became more sparse, and Dean rolled the car around a corner.

The first thing Cas saw was not the open field, grass blowing peacefully in the wind, nor the large tree providing soft shade, but the blackened, skeletal remains of a big house, the beams clawing at the sky. Cas couldn’t help but gasp as he saw it, and regretted it when he felt Dean flinch beside him. He didn’t need to ask what it was.

‘It was never repaired?’ he murmured.

Dean shook his head. He stopped the car to look at it, gaze sliding over every inch of the ruined building. Whatever memories he held of the place stirred behind his eyes.

Cas sat still, unsure of whether or not Dean wanted space. He was almost relieved when Dean took his hand and held it to his chest. Dean still didn’t look at him, but whatever pain he was feeling was being taken out on Cas’s hand.

They sat there for a long time, until Dean remembered the flowers in his lap and started the car back up. He drove them slowly away from the house, watching it through the rearview mirror until it had fallen beyond the horizon.

Soon, they came to a small, quiet graveyard. Dean parked the car and got out, Cas following behind.

There weren’t many graves, and Dean respectfully picked his way through them, flowers in hand. Towards the back of the graveyard was a plain headstone that simply read _Mary Winchester - In Loving Memory._

Cas hung back while Dean approached it. He knelt down and carefully placed the flowers at the foot of the stone and remained still for a while. Cas folded his arms, trying to ignore the cold, and focus on Dean, but he was soon shivering and forcing back his own, quickly resurfacing memories. Still, he said nothing, and waited. He didn’t know how long for, but he was more than willing to wait for however long it took. He was surprised, however, when Dean looked around and gestured him over.

He hesitantly stepped over to Dean and knelt beside him. After a moment, Dean raised his hands. _{Every year, I hope I can say something to her}_ he signed sadly.

 _{I don’t think she needs you to say something}_ Cas told him. _{This would be enough for her, I’m sure}_

Despite everything, a brief smile flashed across Dean’s face. _{You always know what to say}_

Cas brushed Dean’s knee.

 _{I think she would have liked you}_ Dean said. _{She always said angels watched over me}_

_{I’m not an angel}_

_{You’re named for one. Good enough}_ Dean rose to his feet, patted the headstone as he did so, and turned away, taking Cas with him. _{What’s your favourite flower?}_ He asked once they were back at the car.

‘Mine?’ Cas said in surprise. ‘I like sunflowers.’

 _{Good choice}_ Dean leaned against the car, staring at the sky.

‘Dean?’

Dean shook his head, tears filling his eyes.

‘Dean.’ Cas wrapped his arms around Dean, who buried his head in Cas’s shoulder, sobs wracking his body.

 _{I’m sorry}_ he said, once he had composed himself. _{You’re cold}_

Cas waved away his apology. ‘Let’s just get back to the motel.’

Once there, Dean lay down on the bed.

‘Tired?’ Cas asked.

Dean nodded.

‘I’ll go get something to eat for when you wake up.’

_{No}_

_{What?}_

_{Stay with me}_

_{Of course}_ Cas took off his shoes and climbed on the bed next to Dean. Dean let out a relieved sigh and slung and arm across Cas’s chest, pulling himself closer. He was asleep almost instantly, and though he was disturbed by nightmares once or twice, it was the most peaceful sleep he’d had in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone, sorry to keep you all waiting. Thanks to snips92, cherrywine, Suchafangirl23, swedish_short_snout and liesje_86 for the comments! See you all again soon!


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Five

  


Winter drew onwards, with Cas wrapping himself up in several layers every time he left the house, Dean grinning every time he threw a scarf over the top and obscuring half of his face.

As much as he hated the cold, he loved using it as an excuse to snuggle close to Dean in the evenings, blankets piled over them both.

They were both in the bakery one frosty December morning. Cas had begun putting up Christmas decorations, and Dean was leaning against the counter, watching him. Alfie was tending to the coffee machine, as usual, though he had recently taken on a much bigger role at the bakery, and came in early to help Cas with the prep.

‘Dean, the counter!’ Cas protested, moving Dean away from the glass counter.

Cas was decorating the register with tinsel when a customer came in, completely swathed in layers, scarf and hat covering most of her face. Cas glanced up at her, but then did a double take. ‘Wait… Charlie?’

‘Surprise!’ she said, taking off her hat and scarf.

‘ _Charlie!’_ He flung his arms around her, squeezing her tightly.

Alfie vaulted the counter and jumped on her as well.

‘ _Careful,’_ Cas said reproachfully, pulling away. ‘What are you doing here? Why didn’t you call?’

Charlie raised her eyebrows, reached behind the register, and pulled out Cas’s extremely dead phone.

‘I meant, why didn’t you call Alfie?’

‘I thought I’d surprise you, that’s all.’ She looked around the bakery, her eyes fell on Dean, and her face lit up. ‘Is this him? Is this Dean?’

Cas blushed. ‘Yes, this is Dean.’

Charlie squealed slightly, and hugged Dean tightly. Cas tried to keep a straight face at Dean’s shocked expression over Charlie’s shoulder.

‘It’s so great to meet you,’ she beamed. ‘Oh, wait..’ _{How are you?}_

Dean blinked in surprise. _{You sign?}_

_{Of course. As soon as C-a-s told me you sign, I started learning. I have a group}_

_{Why?}_

_{The whole time we lived out here, he never mentioned a man, but he did not stop talking about you when you met}_

‘That is not true,’ Cas spluttered.

‘Sure it isn’t,’ Charlie laughed.

Dean raised his eyebrows, amused.

Charlie then began inspecting the bakery. ‘Are these the best decorations you guys could come up with?’ she asked, pointing at the pale pink frosting on the cupcakes. ‘Clearly you guys need some inspiration around here.’ She went behind the counter, peeled off her gloves, and grabbed the fresh batch of cupcakes that Cas had just made.

Cas watched her start to decorate the fresh ones, and shared a confused look with Alfie.

‘Um, Charlie?’ Cas said.

‘Yeah?’

‘What are you doing here?’

Charlie glanced up from her cupcakes. ‘I’m getting married.’

Cas looked mystified. ‘Yes?’

She grinned at him. ‘Next month.’

‘What?’ Cas hugged her again. ‘That’s so great! I’m so happy for you!’

‘So, I want to take you all out for drinks. Hey, don’t you have a brother?’ she asked Dean, who nodded. ‘I’d love to meet him! Is he free tonight? You should bring him.’

Dean nodded again.

‘Awesome!’

 _{I have to get to work}_ Dean told Cas, his face falling slightly. _{See you later}_ He kissed Cas goodbye, and left.

Charlie winked at Cas, who rolled his eyes.

‘How is Dorothy, anyway?’ he asked.

‘She’s great. Visiting her parents with the news.’

Cas smiled widely.

The rest of the day was surreal. Having Charlie back in the bakery was like a breath of fresh air. She helped Cas put up the Christmas decorations, and refilled the cake decorations with as many different colours as she could.

Alfie stayed all day, too, and the three of them closed together.

Once they’d dropped off the leftovers, they met Sam and Dean outside.

Sam warmly shook Charlie’s hand, then let her lead the way to her favourite bar.

She ordered them all a round of drinks and sat them all down at a table.

‘So, how’d you and Cas meet?’ Sam asked.

Dean watched her, interested.

‘Well, we were sort of on the same scene for a while, so we knew each other from around. I actually dragged him out of clubs a few times, when I thought he’d had enough-’

‘I don’t remember that,’ Cas said.

‘Duh, you were completely wasted every time I did. I used to keep an eye on him whenever I saw him out, ‘cause he was _clearly_ using a fake ID, and he had just about the worst fashion sense I’ve ever seen-’

‘No change there, then,’ Sam laughed.

‘Oh, trust me, this was so much worse.’

‘Pics or it didn’t happen,’ Alfie grinned.

Cas frowned. ‘Charlie doesn’t have-’

‘Oh, Charlie does,’ Charlie said, smiling wickedly.

Cas’s eyes widened. ‘You don’t!’

‘If you think I didn’t keep photos of you for this exact occasion, you’re wrong.’

To Cas’s horror, Charlie unlocked her phone and pulled up her photos. She giggled as she picked one out, and passed it around the table.

Sam burst out laughing and Alfie sniggered at it. It was passed over to Dean, who choked on his drink.

Cas snatched it away and groaned. It was a picture of him at about sixteen years old, wearing the mesh vest he’d left at his parents’ house, with a stringy white top hanging off his shoulders. He was clutching a glass of something green in one hand, and a cigarette in the other. The black eyeliner he’d ringed his eyes with had smudged all over his face, and his hair flopped over his forehead, greasy and electric blue.

‘Oh, you think that’s funny, do you?’ Sam said to Dean, who was almost crying with mirth. ‘Let’s see what everyone has to say about this.’

Dean’s face fell.

‘What do you mean?’ Cas said.

‘Let’s just say, you weren’t the only one that went through that phase,’ Sam said.

Cas glanced at Dean, who was shaking his head.

Sam too pulled up a photo and passed it around.

Alfie guffawed and Charlie giggled. She passed it to Cas and he gasped.

In it, Dean was wearing a ripped t-shirt, flipping the camera off with both hands, while sticking out his pierced tongue. His nails were painted black, as were his eyes, but the best part was his hair. Spiked into a tall mohawk and dyed fluorescent green.

Cas looked wide-eyed at Dean. _{You never mentioned this}_ he signed gleefully.

Dean groaned and hid his face in his hands.

Cas passed Sam’s phone back, chuckling. He squeezed Dean’s knee, coaxing him away from his hands and revealing bright red cheeks. _{At least I’m not the only one}_ Cas said.

Dean groaned again.

 _{It’s cute}_ Cas reassured him. _{Really. Green suits you}_

They all laughed and drank some more, until their tongues had loosened a bit more, and the atmosphere was pleasantly relaxed.

‘So, Dean,’ Charlie said, leaning over the table towards him. ‘Is Cas the first guy you ever liked?’

Dean blushed, and grinned. _{He is}_

Sam frowned, sipping his beer. ‘No he isn’t,’ he said.

Dean glared at him. _{Yes he is}_ he insisted.

‘That’s not true.’

_{Yes it is}_

‘Oh yeah? What about Benny?’

Dean leaned back in his seat, and Charlie made an amused ‘Ooooooh’ sound.

‘Who’s Benny?’ Cas asked Dean with a sly smile.

 _{No one}_ Dean signed forcefully.

‘You’re such a liar!’ Sam laughed, his cheeks reddening from the alcohol. ‘Benny was a guy that used to work in Dean’s favourite diner. We were there basically every day, and you could not get them away from each other. Seriously, you should have seen the way Dean looked at him.’ Sam devolved into laughter, but Dean looked down at his lap.

Suddenly, Cas didn’t find it quite as funny as everyone else did. He slid his arm around Dean’s waist and pulled him closer. ‘It’s okay,’ he whispered in Dean’s ear.

Dean sighed. _{He wasn’t…}_

‘Wasn’t what?’

_{Like me. He wasn’t like me}_

Cas bit his lip, as he saw a long-forgotten heartbreak resurfacing behind Dean’s eyes, barely understood and buried deep. ‘What happened to him?’ he asked quietly.

Sam shrugged. ‘Moved out to Georgia last I heard. To be with his family, or something.’

 _{I need some air}_ Dean said, getting up.

Cas watched him leave and waited a few minutes before following him.

‘Dean?’ he said, gently touching Dean’s back when he found Dean outside.

Dean shook his head. _{It’s fine. I didn’t realise how far back this went. It seems like everyone except me knew}_

Cas squeezed his arm. ‘I’ve said before, it’s okay not to know.’

Dean nodded. _{He wasn’t that great anyway}_

‘Are you coming back inside?’

Dean looked uncertain.

‘Come on, we can get Charlie to tell more stories about me.’

Dean smiled.

‘We’ll have some more drinks, and Charlie will tell you all about the time I threw up on a guy, what do you think?’

Dean rolled his eyes, but grinned.

‘That’s more like it.’ Cas led him by the hand back inside, picking up another round of drinks along the way.

Sam was already too far gone to notice Dean’s discomfort, but Charlie nodded at him in concern.

 _{I’m fine}_ Dean told her. _{Tell me about the time C-a-s vomited on someone}_

‘Oh, that’s a great story!’ Charlie said, grabbing her drink. ‘So there I am, watching Cas hit on this guy, which is a sight itself to be honest. I’m keeping an eye, ‘cause he’s completely wasted and I’m making sure this guy isn’t up to any funny business…’

Cas blushed the further she went with her story, but it was worth it to see Dean laughing.

‘... I turn away for like one second, and I turn back and they’re making out against the wall of this club. But then, I see that Cas has gotten really unsteady and pale. So I start going over to get him, but I’m already too late. The guy could definitely tell what was about to happen, but he’s too late as well. He tries to get away, but as soon as he lets go, Cas pukes all over him, but it’s not a regular puke, it’s bright blue. As in, so blue, it was never coming out of that guy’s sweater. That’s when I decide he’s done for the night, so I apologise to the guy and get Cas outside, where he immediately passes out. It took me hours to get him home, ‘cause no cab would take him in that state. And when he wakes up the next day, with a monster hangover, of course, he remembers none of it until I tell him.’

 _{You’re right, that is a great story}_ Dean signed, laughing so hard he was struggling to keep his signs straight.

‘Honestly, how his parents didn’t realise before, I have no idea,’ Charlie laughed.

‘How did you two end up opening a bakery together?’ Sam asked.

Charlie blinked. ‘That is a _long_ story.’

‘Let’s hear it.’

‘All right, just don’t fall asleep. It all started when I found him out on the streets. I was just walking around with Dorothy, and there he was, asleep under a bench in town, with only a ratty old sleeping bag. Honestly, he was a mess.’

Cas nodded in agreement.

‘He wouldn’t tell me what happened at first, but I took him back to my place for a while. It was awful for days. He didn’t sleep, he barely said a word. All he did was drink hot chocolate and hide under the blankets in my spare room. I almost thought he wouldn’t get better. Then, one day, I had been out shopping all day, and when I came back, the apartment was covered in cupcakes, and I mean _covered._ There wasn’t a flat surface that wasn’t covered in cupcakes. I was so confused. I don’t even know where he got the flour from, but then I tried one, and they were amazing!’

Dean chuckled, and grabbed Cas’s hand.

‘So I thought, why not put it to good use. We tried a few more recipes and Cas was amazing at every single one. It was crazy, but I thought it just might work.’

‘Okay, but how did you get the money to outright buy a bakery?’ Sam asked,

Charlie and Cas glanced at each other nervously.

‘Well…’

Sam rolled his eyes. ‘I’m a lawyer, not a cop. Besides, statute of limitations.’

‘Technically, it was his money,’ Charlie said hastily. ‘His parents had locked him out of the account, but it was still his. All I did was help him gain access to it.’

‘Ah, I see,’ Sam grinned, downing the rest of his drink. ‘Smart.’

Charlie winked at Cas, and they all drank more, becoming increasingly raucous until the bar called last orders.

By the end of the night, they were all glad they’d chosen a bar within walking distance of their apartments. Sam wandered off back to his, and the rest of them back to Cas and Dean’s.

Charlie stumbled into the spare room, Alfie passed out on the couch, and Cas and Dean fell into their bedroom, just barely managing to get the door closed.

 _{I love you so much}_ Dean signed sloppily from the bed.

 _{You’re drunk}_ Cas signed back, lying down next to him.

 _{So are you. It’s still true}_ He laughed weakly to himself, as they both wriggled under the blankets.

They were asleep almost straight away, Dean snoring loudly.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to Suchafangirl23, swedish_short_snout, Dean12, QueenofHearts, NightSong, liesje_86, Maxwell and snips92 for the wonderfull comments! See you all again next time!


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Six

 

Cas awoke early the next morning, out of habit more than anything. Dean was sprawled out beside him, and he had a raging hangover. He slowly dragged himself out of bed, and into the living room to find some painkillers.

Charlie was already in the kitchen, frying some bacon, immune to the side effects of alcohol, as she always had been. ‘Morning,’ she said brightly, smiling at him.

Cas groaned by way of greeting and leaned on the counter, head resting on his palm.

Alfie snuffled softly on the couch, but did not wake.

Charlie’s smile was wide, and she hummed as she cooked. ‘I’m finally getting married, Cas,’ she beamed. ‘Now that it’s legal.’

‘Please, as if legality would have stopped you,’ Cas smiled weakly.

Charlie rolled her eyes. ‘Right, but now other people will have to call her my wife too.’ She served up some bacon on a plate for Cas and stood in front of him, on the other side of the counter. ‘You’ll be my best man?’

Cas choked in his bacon.  _ ‘Me?’  _ he said.

‘Yeah, you, dummy. Who else?’

‘But- but, you’re a girl, you can’t have a best man.’

Charlie rolled her eyes. ‘You can be my maid of honour, if that makes you feel better.’ Charlie laughed at his expression. ‘Cas, we’re gay, we can do what we want, so what do you say?’

Cas smiled. ‘Of course I’ll be your best man.’

Charlie clapped her hands together. ‘Yes! Awesome! Okay, so the wedding is next month.’ She pulled her phone out and opened the calendar on it, showing Cas the dates. ‘We’re having it on that Friday, and we’re having our joint bachelorette party on the Tuesday before. Everyone’s invited, including Sam and Dean, and it’s a costume party-’

Cas groaned.

‘Come on, Cas, it’s my wedding.’

‘Fine,’ Cas smiled, ‘we’ll come up with something.’

Charlie came around the counter and threw her arms around him.

‘Ow, Charlie,’ Cas winced.

‘Sorry,’ she said sheepishly, letting him go.

‘I hope you’re not expecting me to make a funny speech, or anything.’

‘You have to do a speech!’

‘I’ll do  _ a  _ speech.’

‘All right, do  _ a  _ speech.’

Charlie went back into the kitchen to make more breakfast, and the smell of sausages roused both Dean and Alfie.

Dean emerged from their bedroom, hair ruffled, and eyes half closed. He trudged over to the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist, leaning on him from behind.

‘You want some breakfast, Dean?’ Charlie asked.

Dean nodded. He tightened his grip on Cas, lightly kissing his head. 

‘How are you feeling?’ Cas asked softly. 

Dean just  groaned in response, and Cas snorted. 

‘You should drink more water next time.’ 

‘Eurgh, I’m nauseous enough already, can you two stop?’ Alfie said, sliding off the couch and onto the floor.

Dean laughed at him, then slowly walked around the kitchen making ginger tea for everyone.

The day was spent quietly chatting after Cas decided he was too hungover to open the bakery. By the end of it, however, Charlie had packed and was preparing to leave.

‘Do you have to go?’ Alfie asked.

‘Sorry, guys, I’ve got a lot of planning to do,’ Charlie grinned. ‘Catch you squares later.’ She blew them all a kiss and departed.

_ {How are you feeling?}  _ Dean asked Cas, moving close to him.

_ {Better}  _ Cas smiled.

Dean kissed him gently, and slipped his hands under Cas’s sweater. 

‘Alfie…’ Cas murmured, pushing Dean away.

‘I’m out,’ Alfie said, hurrying to the door, tripping over Gracie on his way out.

Dean laughed and kissed Cas again. This time, Cas didn’t stop him.

  
  


Cas began working on his best man speech the next day, but got distracted preparing for Christmas. Soon, the bakery was filled with gingerbread, Christmas tree shaped cookies, and little cakes cut and decorated to look like presents.

‘Wow, you’ve really outdone yourself, Cas,’ Sam said when he dropped in for lunch.

Cas smiled. ‘We usually have Christmas in here, seeing as my apartment is so small. You and Jess are welcome to join us.’

‘Why- why would Jess want to join us, I mean, she probably has plans, or something,’ Sam stammered.

‘Right,’ Cas said, rolling his eyes. 'But if she does happen to be free, she's welcome to come.’ 

'Yeah, sure, I'll tell her.’ 

'Sam?’ Cas said as Sam was leaving. 

'Yeah?’ 

'If Dean and I were this obvious, I'm surprised you didn't say something sooner.’ 

Sam blushed, but left without another word, leaving Cas to chuckle to himself. 

Dean continued to spend most of his free time in the bakery. He came in after work most afternoons, a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

'I don't know why you don't just leave,’ Cas would say. 'You see me every day, you don't have to stay at that place just because it's closer.’ 

Dean would merely shrug and refuse to answer, usually searching for some sort of distraction. He would rearrange the decorations, or go back into the kitchen and attempt to make something. This would usually cause Cas to temporarily forget their ongoing argument, in favour of preventing him from burning down the kitchen. 

Christmas morning was frosty and it took Cas several tries to unlock the bakery door. Sam had brought Jess 'as friends’, and they all gathered around the tree Cas had erected to open presents. 

They had all chipped in together to buy Cas a new, less confusing coffee machine, which he immediately switched with the old one. He read the instructions carefully, then slowly made everyone a cup of coffee with it. They were slightly cold by the time he finished, but they were all correct, and Dean smiled at him proudly. He also found a card from Emily and Gabriel buried under the tree. He fiddled with it for a few minutes, turning it over in his hands before propping it up on the counter. He didn't know who had put it there, but the way Dean avoided looking at him when he opened it gave him his suspicions. 

Alfie received several different art sets, ranging from paper to sponges and brushes to paints. 

Sam rolled his eyes at Dean's gift to him, a tiny, novelty gavel. 'I'm not a judge, Dean.’

As for Dean, he received a bag of quality jerky from Alfie, a small model of the Impala from Sam, and recipe book for baking from Cas. 'I've got something else for you later,’ Cas murmured in his ear, so no one else would hear. 

Dean grinned and got up, going to the kitchen to start on the Christmas dinner. 

Cas stood by a let him work, only interfering in the kitchen when Dean asked for his help, or when he was making a few pastries to go with it. 

Mrs Holden made an appearance during the afternoon, and kissed Cas on the cheek when he gave her a bag of special Christmas muffins as a gift. 

After dinner, Alfie helped Cas set up his laptop on the counter, so they could video call with Charlie and Dorothy. 

'How's the wedding coming?’ Cas asked them. 

'Really good,’ Charlie said. 'I think we're just about ready. What about your speech?’

'Almost done,’ Cas smiled. 

'Oh, by the way, who's coming to the party?’

'Dean and I,’ Cas said. 

'Yeah, sorry I can't make it,’ Sam said. 'I've got an important meeting that day, but we will definitely be at your wedding.’

'We?’ Charlie said. 

'I - I mean - just that -’ 

Jess rolled her eyes at Sam's stammering. 'We'll be there,’ she said firmly. 'Come on, Sam, it's not like they don't already know.’ 

'But-’ 

'Sam and I are together. Obviously. We have been for a while.’ 

Dean snorted.  _ {Did you think you could hide it from me?}  _ He leaned over and shook Jess's hand, and she wore a smug smile on her face for the rest of the day. 

'Merry Christmas, guys,’ Charlie said, before ending the call. 

It was late, and the sky had darkened, so everyone helped Cas clean up the bakery before making their way home. 

Dean hung back while he waited for Cas to lock up, chuckling slightly when Cas again struggled with the the lock, having still not replaced it. 

They walked slowly home together, arm in arm, with Cas leaning his head on Dean's shoulder. 

Once inside the apartment, he fed what was left of the chicken Dean had cooked to Gracie. 

Dean quietly went into their bedroom and brought out the picture of his mother, placing it carefully on the coffee table in the living room. He placed a small sprig of holly in front of it and smiled at her. 

Cas watched him, waiting until he moved away from the picture to approach him. 'Are you ready for your present?’ he asked. 

Dean nodded. 

Cas slowly began to undress him, undoing the buttons of his shirt one by one. 'Merry Christmas, Dean,’ he murmured. 

'Merry Christmas, Cas,’ he whispered back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to PurpleCrisis, Superpeace, swedish_short_snout, QueenofHearts, snips92 and liesj_86 for the comments!  
> Apologies, a bit of a filler this time, but I'll be back next time with the good stuff!  
> Check out my new story West Coast, and let me know if you like it. Not sure if I'll continue it yet, but it's something I've been playing around with for a while now.


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

Dean and Cas left for Chicago a few days before Charlie and Dorothy’s bachelorette party, leaving Alfie with instructions for the bakery. He was to close it for a week and a half starting the day of the party.

Cas was actually looking forward to the road trip this time. Now that neither of them were sick or visiting relatives, it was an enjoyable experience. They planned it to try and visit different motels this time, and Dean laughed every time Cas pointed out something mildly interesting or odd, and when he got the car games wrong. Cas sang loudly, and badly, to all of the music Dean put on. He saw Dean open his mouth to join in a few times, but Dean couldn’t quite force it out. Cas sang even louder whenever this happened, and squeezed Dean’s knee reassuringly.

‘Have you ever been to Chicago, Dean?’ Cas asked, as they drew closer to the city.

Dean shook his head.

‘We should go up the Sears tower while we’re here.’

Dean snorted.

As they drew closer to the city, Dean’s brow furrowed, and he reached into the glovebox. He pulled out a map and handed it to Cas.

‘I thought you said you knew where you were going?’ Cas said.

Dean tapped the map on Chicago city.

‘Well, I don’t know how to get there either. I thought you did.’

Dean gestured towards the road.

‘It’s too late to get off the interstate now,’ Cas complained, unfolding the map. ‘I don’t know how to read these.’

Dean waved one hand next to his ear in frustration.

‘I don’t have a smartphone, and I couldn’t work my coffee machine, big surprise I don’t know how to read a map,’ Cas grumbled, turning the map upside down. ‘Besides, I’m not the one that has a tape deck and not a GPS in my car.’

The traffic grew thicker the closer they got, and Dean got more and more anxious. He groaned when Cas still couldn’t find where they were going.

‘I know you don’t like driving in the city, Dean, but it’s not my fault you can’t fly,’ Cas said, getting frustrated himself. ‘Just find a place to pull over when we get into town.’

Though he was tense, Dean still found it in him to whistle in appreciation at the Chicago skyline when it came into view. They found a gas station and pulled into it.

Cas got out with the map, still squinting at it, while Dean walked around a little, taking some deep breaths.

'Hey,’ Cas said gently, going up to him. 'Are you all right?’

Dean nodded.

'Here, why don't you find it on the map, and I'll get some snacks and some water, what do you think?’

Dean sighed and nodded.

'Take as much time as you need.’

Dean grimaced and turned his attention to the map.

Cas walked into the gas station and picked out as much junk food as possible. He even picked up a slice of pie despite the fact that it was soggy, and it was sad to look at.

Dean was leaning on the hood of the car when Cas came out. _{What did you get?}_ he asked.

Cas passed him the water and stood next to him to show him inside the bag.

 _{Some good choices}_ Dean grinned. He took a gulp of water.

'Ready to go?’ Cas asked.

Dean shoved some pretzels in his mouth, dusted his hands off and got back into the car.

Cas followed suit and Dean kissed him on the cheek before pulling out of the gas station.

'Better?’ Cas asked.

Dean nodded enthusiastically. He knew where they were going now and was a lot more relaxed.

  


They made it to the hotel with just enough time to get dressed before the party. They checked in and hung the suits they were wearing to the wedding up in the closet.

Cas began to get dressed, but Dean wrapped his arms around Cas's waist, preventing him from putting on his shirt.

'Dean, come on, we're going to be late,’ Cas said, though he made no move to extricate himself.

Dean merely shrugged.

'Well, you make a compelling argument,’ Cas laughed.

  


By the time they arrived at the venue, the party was in full swing, and it took them a minute to find Charlie, dressed as a swordsman.

‘Where the hell have you guys been?’ Charlie demanded.

'We uh, lost track of time,’ Cas said.

'Ew,’ Charlie said. 'And you came as an angel again? Seriously?’

‘Not the same angel,’ Cas said defensively. 'This one wears grey instead of white.’

'And Dean, you look like… yourself.’

Dean turned around and showed her the devil's tail he'd clipped onto his jeans.

'You guys are so lame,’ Charlie said, rolling her eyes.

Just then, Dorothy came over, dressed in a puffy, blue dress, her hair in braids, and freckles painted on her face.

'Dorothy Gale, really?’ Cas said critically. 'And you thought my costume was bad.’

Dorothy grinned widely. 'It's good to see you too, Cas.’ She hugged him tightly. 'And it's nice to finally meet you, Dean,’ she said, shaking his hand.

'Come on, let's get wasted and dance to some cheesy music,’ Charlie said, grabbing Dorothy's hand. ‘There’s food around if you guys are hungry.’ She pulled Dorothy away, leaving Cas and Dean to find their own way around.

Cas recognise a lot of the people around the room from Milwaukee, but none of them seemed to recognise him.

They eventually bought some drinks at the bar, and felt pleasantly warm after downing all of them.

‘Come on,’ Cas shouted to Dean, dragging him to the dance floor.

Cas danced more than he had in years that night, mostly with Dean, but with Charlie a lot as well. A few times, he caught Dean watching him with an odd expression, but he decided to ask about it later.

Eventually, the party began to wind down, and Charlie and Cas stepped outside for some air.

‘What a great party!’ Charlie exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. ‘I’m so happy, Cas!’

‘I’m happy for you!’ Cas grinned. The wings he was wearing had sagged and begun coming apart. Feathers fell to the ground as Charlie threw an arm around him. ‘You deserve this,’ he said to her.

‘You’re the best,’ she said, resting her head on his shoulder. ‘I’m happy for you too, you know.’

‘Oh?’

‘He really loves you.’

Cas blushed. ‘What makes you say that?’

Charlie giggled. ‘Don’t tell him I told you, but he calls you “Angel” when you’re not around.’

‘All right, now you’re just messing with me.’

‘No, seriously, I swear to God, that’s what he calls you.’

‘You’re definitely lying.’

‘Believe what you want, man.’

Cas laughed, resting his arm on Charlie. ‘You’re right, this is a great party.’

‘I can’t wait to be married. Come on, let’s go back inside. I think there’s still some food we can raid.’

Dean, Cas, Charlie, and Dorothy were the last ones left at the venue by the end of the night, eating what was left of the food.

At last, Cas felt the day catch up to him, and decided to call it a night. Dean was more than happy to accompany him back to the hotel.

Dean crawled under the covers, and curled up in Cas’s arms. He didn’t turn the light off yet, instead lifting his hands so Cas could see. _{Would you ever get married?}_ he asked.

Cas blinked in surprise. ‘I’ve never really thought about it,’ he said, tracing swirls with his finger behind Dean’s ear. ‘I suppose I’ve never considered it an option.’

_{If you had the option?}_

‘I don’t know,’ Cas said thoughtfully. ‘Maybe I would someday… What about you?’

_{I would. I always wanted to get married}_

Cas laughed. ‘I wouldn’t have thought of you as the traditional family man.’

 _{I am}_ Dean grinned. _{I always wanted to be normal}_

‘You don’t need to get married to be normal,’ Cas chuckled. ‘Anyway, you’re perfect just the way you are.’

 _{Maybe not perfect}_ Dean leaned up to kiss him once more before they fell asleep.

  


Cas woke up late the next afternoon. He stretched out, yawning, and realised that Dean was no longer in bed with him. ‘Dean?’ he mumbled, assuming Dean was in the room, but there was no reply. He lifted his head blearily, looking around, but the room was empty. He groaned and buried his face back in the pillow. He was considering finding his phone and texting Dean, but then the door opened, and Dean came back inside.

‘Where did you go?’ Cas mumbled, his voice muffled by the pillow. ‘Come back to bed.’

The bed depressed beside him as Dean sat down, but when Cas made to pull him back under the covers, his fingers met denim. Then he felt Dean’s fingers in his hair. He shifted onto his side and looked up to see Dean gazing down at him fondly. ‘What?’

Dean just shook his head, and held up the room service menu.

‘That is an excellent idea,’ Cas said.

They ordered some burgers from the menu, and watched a baking show on the TV in their room, which Cas criticised heavily.

Soon, Cas was more awake, and itching to get outside. He threw some clothes on and hurried outside, pulling Dean alongside him. ‘Oh, let’s go up the tower!’ he said excitedly.

Dean was less than enthusiastic, but still accompanied Cas all the way up the tower, though he refused to go out on the ledge.

‘Wow,’ Cas breathed, looking down at the city beneath his feet. The sun had begun to set, casting deep shadows, and bathing everything in an orange glow. He looked back at Dean, who looked deeply uncomfortable. ‘Oh, Dean, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have forced you up here.’ He left the ledge and let Dean step away.

_{You didn’t force me. I would go anywhere with you}_

Cas smiled and let Dean kiss him on the forehead.

They returned to their hotel, ordered more room service, and watched bad movies late into the night.

  


Cas spent the next few days putting the finishing touches on his speech, and exploring the city with Dean. Sometimes Dean would go out without him, to give him some space to concentrate, but he would always come back with some sort of souvenir, or odd snack he found from some street vendor.

A couple of days before the wedding, Dean was out and Cas was sitting alone in the room, when the door burst open and Charlie came crashing in.

Cas leapt to his feet. ‘Charlie?’

‘Cas!’ she said breathlessly. ‘I really need your help. Really big help. Best man stuff.’

‘What is it?’

She went up to him, holding her hands to her face. ‘I did something bad.’

‘What?’

‘I- I lost the ring.’

‘ _What?_ You _lost_ the ring?’

‘I know, I know!’ Charlie exclaimed, spinning in a circle. ‘But she never saw it, it was going to be surprise. Please, Cas, come with me to the jeweller and help me pick another one.’

‘Charlie, the wedding is in two days-’

‘I know it is, Cas, that’s why you have to help me!’

‘All right, all right, just let me get dressed.’ Cas hurriedly threw on some clothes, and Charlie dragged him to the nearest jewellers.

He watched as she frantically looked up and down for the right ring.

‘Can we try this one on?’ Charlie asked the man behind the counter, pointing at a simple, silver band.

‘Of course.’ He set about unlocking the glass case.

Charlie looked at Cas, chewing on a fingernail.

‘What?’ Cas asked apprehensively.

‘Will you try it on?’

‘ _Charlie!’_

‘Oh, please _,_ Cas? I need to see what it looks like on, and you have dainty fingers-’

‘I do _not_ have dainty fingers!’

‘Cas, _please,’_ Charlie begged, grabbing his hands.

Cas sighed. ‘All right, but only if you take a breath.’

‘Taking a breath,’ Charlie said.

The man behind the counter slipped the ring onto Cas’s left ring finger. It didn’t quite fit, so the man picked out another in a larger size. This one fit snugly, and Cas showed it to Charlie.

‘What do you think?’ Cas asked.

She welled up, fanning her face with her hands. ‘It’s beautiful,’ she said tearfully. ‘I’ll take it.’

Cas carefully took it off and gave it back to the man, who carefully wrapped it up.

Charlie paid, and hugged Cas tightly once they were outside. ‘Thank you,’ she said, still sniffling.

‘You’re welcome,’ Cas said, slightly bewildered.

‘Okay, gotta go find a better place to hide this baby.’ She ran off, leaving Cas to find his own way back to the hotel.

  


At last, it was the day of the wedding. Cas and Dean got dressed in their suits. Sam, Jess, and Alfie had arrived the night before, and were waiting for them in the lobby of the hotel.

 _{Ready?}_ Dean asked Cas. _{You have your speech?}_

Cas tapped his breast pocket.

‘All right, then, let’s go,’ Sam said.

A car with a white ribbon on it met them outside and brought them to Silverwell Hall, a wedding venue close by.

There was a crowd by the front door, which began to move inside once Cas had arrived.

Sam, Dean, Alfie, and Jess all went inside to take their seats, and Cas waited outside with Dorothy’s maid of honour.

At last, another car with ribbons pulled up. Charlie had arrived.

She climbed out of the car, her happiness lightening the atmosphere around her. Her hair was loosely curled, with a few, small white flowers pinned in to it. She wore a white dress, lace sleeves tapering at her elbows, and her skirt falling to just above her knees. She closed the car door behind her, bouquet in one hand, and beamed at Cas.

‘You look beautiful,’ Cas said.

‘I know,’ Charlie grinned. ‘Come on, let’s get the show on the road.’

‘Oh, right,’ Cas said. He took the arm of the maid of honour, who was wearing a pale pink dress, and lead the way inside.

Everyone stood up as they walked in. Dorothy was already at the top of the room, waiting.

Dean winked at Cas as he passed, who struggled to keep a straight face as they walked.

They separated at the end of the aisle, Dorothy’s maid of honour standing next to her, and Cas standing next to the spot Charlie would occupy.

She walked down the aisle after them, holding her bouquet tightly, but still smiling widely.

Dorothy turned to her, and looked as though she had been struck by lightning.

Charlie stopped in front of Dorothy, and handed Cas her bouquet to hold.

The minister smiled and gestured for everyone to take their seats.

‘Welcome, everyone, friends and family,’ she began. ‘On behalf of Charlie and Dorothy, I would like to thank you all for being here this afternoon. For taking the time and making the journey, and for all the effort that it takes—not only to be a part of this day, but to be a part of each other’s lives. Charlie and Dorothy have invited you here to this beautiful place to show you a glimpse of an important piece of their love.

‘Whenever we attend a wedding, we are given the opportunity to reflect on our own relationships. We might look at the couple before us and be tempted to compare their love to the quality of our own relationships. The truth is that every relationship is as unique as the individuals in it, but one thing holds true: For love to exist between two people, each person must allow the vulnerability of giving his or her love to the other, and each must be open to receiving the other’s love in turn. Therefore each of us is a powerful creator of love. Each of us, every moment of every day, has the choice to dedicate ourselves to one another or to withhold our love and caring.

‘If you ask couples who have a strong and abiding love what they like most about their partners, many will say when they are with that person they don’t have to pretend to be anything other than what they are. They are able to express themselves without fear of being judged or rejected. There is room in the relationship for both of them to be unique individuals. They are free to surrender to the vulnerability of true intimacy—to be known and loved unconditionally.

‘We are gathered here today to celebrate with Charlie and Dorothy as they proclaim their love and commitment to the world. We are gathered to rejoice, with and for them, in the new life they now undertake together.’

Cas squeezed the bouquet in his hands, struggling to hold back the tears in his eyes. He glanced over at Dean, who discreetly signed _{I love you}_ to him.

‘Charlie and Dorothy, the relationship you enter into today must be grounded in the strength of your love and the power of your faith in each other,’ the minister continued. ‘To make your relationship succeed, it will take unending love. It will take trust, to know in your hearts that you truly want what is best for one another, and to learn and grow together. It will take faith, to go forward together without knowing what the future holds. If you both come freely, and understand the responsibility and work involved to make your relationship thrive, and are committed to not only each other, but your family, please take each other by the hands.’

Charlie reached out with shaking hands and took Dorothy’s in her own.

‘Repeat after me: “I, Charlie”.’

‘I, Charlie.’

‘“Take thee, Dorothy”.’

‘Take thee, Dorothy.’

“To be my lawfully wedded wife”.’

‘To be my lawfully wedded wife.’

‘“For better, for worse; for richer or poorer; in sickness and in health, until death do us part”.’

‘For better, for worse; for richer or poorer; in sickness and in health, until death do us part.’ Charlie slid the ring onto Dorothy’s finger, and the minister smiled again.

'All right, Dorothy, repeat after me,’ she said. ‘“I, Dorothy”.’

'I, Dorothy.’

‘“Take thee, Charlie”.’

'Take thee, Charlie.’

‘“To be my lawfully wedded wife”.’

'To be my lawfully wedded wife.’

‘“For better, for worse; for richer or poorer; in sickness and in health, until death do us part”.’

‘For better, for worse; for richer or poorer; in sickness and in health, until death do us part.’

Dorothy gently put the ring on Charlie's finger.

‘Then by the power vested in me, by the state of Illinois, I now pronounce you married, for now and always.’

Everyone got to their feet and applauded while Charlie and Dorothy kissed fiercely. Charlie grabbed her bouquet from Cas, and flower petals were thrown in the air as they walked back up the aisle together.

There was a photographer waiting for them outside, who took endless photos.

‘Oh, wait, I gotta throw the bouquet!’ Charlie said just as they were about to leave. She threw it high in the air, and it hit Dean square in the face when it came down. She laughed at the expression on his face, then led the way to the reception venue, just around the corner.

  


One half of the large function room was filled with chairs and tables, and the other half had a dance floor ready to go.

Everyone sat down at their places, chatting amicably. Dean and Cas were at the top table with Charlie, Dorothy, and Dorothy’s maid of honour. Sam, Jess, and Alfie were at a table nearby.

A few servers came in and stood at the edge of the room, carrying large bottles of champagne.

‘Are you ready?’ Charlie murmured to Cas.

He nodded, pulling his paper out of his pocket.

Charlie nodded at the servers, who went around the room pouring everyone a drink. They then retreated from the room, and Charlie tapped her glass with her fork until everyone was looking at them.

‘Hello, everyone,’ Cas said, clearing his throat. ‘For those of you that don’t know me, my name is Castiel. I hope you’ll all forgive me, I’m not much of a speech-giver, but what Charlie wants, Charlie gets.’

An appreciative chuckle ran around the room.

‘Now, I’ve known Charlie and Dorothy a long time, and I can’t think of two people more suited to each other, nor two people that deserve more celebration.

‘To be honest, I don’t remember first meeting Charlie,’ Cas smiled, ‘but I do remember the sense of safety she provided, just from being in the same building as me. I felt like I could do anything when she was around. Granted, I probably shouldn’t have, but I knew that nothing bad could happen to me if Charlie was there. She had my back, as they say.’ Cas cleared his throat again. ‘I don’t know where I would be if it hadn’t been for Charlie. It’s not an exaggeration to say that she saved my life. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have everything I have now. I have my bakery. I have a cat, and I met the love of my life,’ he put a hand on Dean’s shoulder. ‘I owe her everything.

‘I may not remember our first meeting, but I do remember when Charlie met Dorothy. It was about 3am and we were both drunk in a liquor store, trying to convince the clerk to give us more alcohol. It didn’t work, obviously, but we kept trying. Then, in comes Dorothy. Stone cold sober, she walks up to the clerk, and he gives her a bottle of whiskey before she even says anything. The look on Charlie’s face was like she’d just seen a miracle, and before I can stop her, she’s hitting on Dorothy. As you all know, Charlie is usually an amazing flirt, but this was after a heavy night. It was a lot messier than it would normally have been. At this point, I was fully prepared to watch Dorothy reject her, but, to my great surprise, Dorothy hit on her back. Despite the fact that Charlie could barely hold herself up.

‘From then on, not only did I have Charlie watching over me, but I also had someone who was more than willing to punch anyone who came near me. They made a great team, even though, at that age, I seemed determined to do stupid things, and that’s how I knew it was true love.

‘I love you both so much, and I wish you all the happiness together. I know you’re going to have an amazing adventure together, and I’m thrilled that I get to be here for it. To Charlie and Dorothy.’ He raised his glass with everyone and ‘To Charlie and Dorothy’ was echoed back to him.

Charlie stood up and hugged him, nearly knocking his drink out of his hand. ‘That was a great speech,’ she said, wiping her eyes.

‘I’m glad you liked it.’

They sat back down, and Cas turned to Dean. ‘What did you think?’ he whispered.

 _{Perfect}_ Dean signed back. _{Did you mean what you said?}_

Cas smiled. ‘Every word.’ He kissed Dean lightly.

  


After everyone had eaten, they all got up and started milling around the room, taking turns to go up and talk to Charlie and Dorothy.

Dorothy hugged Cas when he and Dean eventually made their way over. ‘Thank you, Cas,’ she said.

‘No, thank you,’ Cas said, taking her hands. ‘You’ve made Charlie so happy. She deserves the world, and I’m so glad she met you.’ He glanced down at Dorothy’s hands and saw the ring on Dorothy’s finger. It was a patterned, gold ring, with an emerald inlaid.

‘It’s gorgeous, right?’ Dorothy said, noticing him looking at it. ‘Charlie picked it for me.’

‘Did she?’ Cas said.

Dean came up and shook Dorothy’s hand, and Cas sidled up to Charlie.

‘What happened to the ring we picked?’ Cas hissed to her.

‘Oh, I found the original one,’ Charlie whispered back. ‘I’m returning the other one, don’t worry.’

Cas chuckled quietly. ‘That sounds like you.’

At last, the music started up, the lights went down, and Cas retreated to the edge of the room with Dean. They watched Charlie and Dorothy take the floor for their first dance. Cas put his arm around Dean’s waist and leaned into him.

‘I’m happy for them,’ he said.

Dean’s hand travelled to the back of Cas’s neck, rubbing it gently. ‘You did really well,’ he murmured in Cas’s ear.

Cas shivered, his hand tightening at Dean’s waist. He pulled Dean to the dance floor once the Charlie and Dorothy were finished, and held him close as they danced slowly around the room.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to swedish_short_snout, Superpeace, snips92, ms_josephine and liesje_86
> 
> Disclaimer: I've never been to Chicago, or a wedding, so a lot of this was researched guesses, pls be gentle with me.
> 
> Thanks again for reading! Happy Holidays, and I'll see you all again next time!


	28. Chapter Twenty-Eight

 

Charlie and Dorothy left for their honeymoon straight away, leaving everyone to make their own way home. Sam, Jess and Alfie all flew home the day after the wedding, but Cas and Dean took their time packing up in the hotel, before setting off in the car.

By the time they arrived home, they were both exhausted, and collapsed in bed to sleep the rest of the day off.

Soon enough, though, Cas was back to his normal routine. Despite the fact that he could now work the coffee machine himself, he still had Alfie come in for a few hours a day to work it for him. He had a sneaking suspicion the Alfie secretly enjoyed working at the bakery.

Dean too was back to work, though he visited the bakery more and more often every day.

‘Please quit, Dean,’ Cas begged one day. ‘You hate it, I know you do.’

Dean rolled his shoulders uncomfortably.

‘Any mechanic worth their salt would take you, just pick another - any other.’

Dean looked away. 

'Look at me,’ Cas said, gently turning Dean's chin back to face him. 'Why do you stay?’ 

Dean hesitated.  _ {I'm scared} _

_ ‘ _ Of what?’ Cas said, sitting Dean down on the couch. 'Tell me.’

_ {What if I can't find another place? Somewhere that will take me like this}  _

'They'd be crazy not to.’ 

Dean kissed his hands.  _ {You're sweet} _

'Besides, they're not allowed to discriminate against your disability. Even if they do - which they won't - we've got a pretty good lawyer.’ 

Dean chuckled.  _ {You're right. It was hard to get this job. I'm good at what I do. People are difficult} _

_ {I understand. They're not helping. Your therapist must have said the same}  _

_ {She did} _

_ {You can’t carry on like this. You should leave} _

_ {I’ll think about it} _

‘That’s all I’m asking,’ Cas murmured, kissing Dean’s forehead.

 

For a while, the bakery became a safe haven for Dean, who was becoming increasingly agitated by the day. He tried to hide it, but Cas could see it in the tense lines of his face, until one day he received a text from Dean at work.

_ I forgot my lunch, can you bring me some food? _

Cas looked around the bakery. There were only a couple of people in, and Alfie was behind the counter. ‘Hey, I have to go. Will you be all right for a few minutes?’ 

Alfie just shrugged, getting himself a cup of coffee.

Cas gathered up some food for Dean in a bag, and walked out of the door.

His heart beat hard in his chest, remembering the last time he went to Dean’s work. He gripped the bag tightly as he walked.

The familiar smell of grime and oil drifted around him as he got closer, and he warily approached the three-walled reception room.

The same man that greeted him last time was sitting there, with his feet up on the desk. He looked Cas up and down with disdain, then got his radio out. ‘Winchester, get up here.’

Cas gripped the bag tightly, not taking his eyes off the man until Dean came around the corner, cleaning his hands on a cloth. He smiled at Cas, and kissed him without touching him until has hands were clean.

_ {Thanks}  _ he signed, taking the bag from Cas. He seemed strangely calm, given what he had just done in the midst of co-workers he hated.

_ {What’s going on?}  _ Cas asked suspiciously.

_ {This is what I should have done the first time you came here}  _ Dean said.

_ {You don’t have to} _

‘What are you two girls talking about?’ one of the men interrupted.

Cas looked behind Dean and saw that all four of them had gathered at the entrance.

_ {Tell them if they’re trying to insult me, they need to do better than that}  _ Dean said.

‘Dean-’

_ {Do it} _

‘He says-’ Cas cleared his throat. ‘He says if you want to insult him, you need to do better than that.’

They all laughed. ‘We’re gonna take instructions from you now, are we?’ one of them said.

Another one of them stepped forward. ‘You gonna make me, you little homo?’

Dean squared up, stepping in front of Cas.

‘Dean, please-’

Dean waved him away.

‘You got something to say to me, Winchester?’ the man said, folding his arms.

Dean’s jaw worked furiously, but nothing came out.

The man laughed. ‘What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?’

Dean’s shoulders slumped slightly, and Cas’s fists tightened.

‘Or are you too busy using it to suck his-’

Cas saw red. He shoved Dean out of the way, and punched the man in front of them in the nose.

He spun around and fell to the ground.

Dean gasped.

‘What the hell?’ the man shouted, staggering to his feet, nose bleeding.

‘I do believe you were asking for it,’ Cas said.

The man snarled and lunged at Cas, who easily dodged him. Cas punched him again, knocking him backwards, then pressed his advantage, punching again and again, not just in the face, but in the sides and stomach too. The man doubled over and Cas punched him in the face once more, knocking him to the ground.

‘Have you had enough?’ Cas said coldly, standing over him. 

The man scrambled backwards. ‘You’ll pay for this,’ he snarled. 

‘What are you going to do? Tell all your friends you got beat up by a hundred and thirty pound queer? I don’t think so.’ Cas dusted off his hands and stepped away.

Dean signed  _ {I quit}  _ and, though none of them used sign language, his meaning was clear. 

‘Come on, Dean.’ He grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him away, his mind foggy until they arrived back at the bakery.

‘What’s going on?’ Alfie said.

_ {Cas beat a guy up}  _ Dean told him, a delighted expression on his face.

‘ _ What?’  _ Alfie exclaimed. 

Cas rolled his eyes. ‘It’s not a big deal, I just… punched him a little.’

‘Are you serious?’

_ {I recorded it} _

_ ‘ _ You did not!’ Alfie said, eyes widening. 

Dean pulled his phone out, grinning gleefully, and showed Alfie the video.

Cas didn’t watch, but winced as he heard the smack his fist made against the other man’s face.

Alfie watched, excitedly exclaiming at every punch Cas threw. ‘That is something else, Cas,’ Alfie laughed. ‘I didn’t know you had it in you.’

Cas shrugged awkwardly. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, his fists began to ache. He looked down and saw that he grazed a few of his knuckles, and they were bleeding slightly.

Dean then saw it too, and took Cas into the kitchen to clean him up.

‘Are you all right?’ Cas asked him as he dabbed a wet cloth on Cas’s hands.

Dean looked up and smiled widely. For the first time in weeks, he looked completely relaxed - relieved even. He nodded, still smiling. He put the cloth down, and grabbed the kitchen’s first aid kit. He gently wrapped some of the bandages around Cas’s hands.

‘You’ve done this before,’ Cas said to him.

Dean raised his eyebrows with a smug smile. He let go of Cas’s hands and signed  _ {Be careful. I think you caught his teeth. Let me get some ice. You’ll need it} _

_ ‘ _ I’m sorry,’ Cas said as Dean dug through the freezer. ‘I overreacted.’

Dean shook his head, still smiling, pulling a bag of ice out of the freezer. He wrapped some in a fresh cloth, and placed it in Cas’s hands.  _ {Don’t be sorry. It was hot} _

Cas laughed. ‘I’m glad you think so.’

Just then, they heard the bell on the front door ring, and Sam burst into the kitchen. He took one look at Cas’s hands and burst into laughter. ‘Oh my God, it’s true!’ he said. ‘You really beat someone up!’

‘What? Alfie!’

‘Sorry,’ Alfie called. ‘I had to.’

_ {Do you want to see the video?}  _ Dean asked. 

‘Nothing in this world would make me happier,’ Sam grinned.

Cas groaned as Dean started the video again, cringing again at the smacking sounds.

Sam looked at Cas once it was finished. ‘That was the best thing I’ve ever seen,’ he grinned.

_ {I quit my job}  _ Dean told him.

‘Of course. I don’t think you could go back there, now that your boyfriend beat the crap out of one of them.’

Dean laughed again.  _ {I guess I need a new job now} _

‘Oh, no problem. The mechanic down the street from my building knows all about you. They’ve just been waiting for you to quit.’

Dean looked shocked.

‘Problem solved,’ Cas smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What up my dudes thanks to Nama28, swedish_short_snout, Superpeace and QueenofHearts for the comments!  
> Merry Christmas my friends. My gift to you is Castiel beating up a homophobe ur welcome. Hope you're all having a great day, and I'll see you all next time.


	29. Chapter Twenty-Nine

 

Dean breezed around the apartment, almost glowing for the next few weeks. He loved his new job, and even found himself willing to do overtime.

_ {I’m pleased for you}  _ Cas said one evening. 

Dean had come home late, and brought a lot of food with him.  _ {I’m making a feast}  _ he told Cas, grinning.

Cas watched him happily, his feet curled underneath him on the couch. He did miss Dean’s daytime visits to the bakery, but it was worth it to see Dean so relaxed and happy.

Dean then made so much food that they had to invite Sam and Jess over to help them eat all of it.

They both slept deeply that night, neither disturbed by nightmares, or Sam and Jess in the spare room.

Cas quietly slipped out of bed the next morning, careful not to wake Dean up. His hours were a lot more regular now, but Cas was still up earlier than him most days. He grabbed a snack for breakfast and carefully closed the front door behind him, making sure Gracie was on the right side of it as he did so. He hummed quietly to himself as he walked to the bakery, twirling his keys in his hands. The sky was blue, and thin white clouds scudded across it. It was still cold, but Cas caught the faint smell of spring on the breeze.

He put his key in the door, but froze as he glanced up at the window.

Giant red letters had been graffitied across his window, reading ‘HOMO’. 

Cas stared at it for a moment, struggling to process what he was looking at, his veins turning to ice. ‘Oh, God,’ he whispered, then threw himself inside the bakery. He grabbed a bucket and a sponge, and stumbled back outside with it. How many people had already seen this? He wet the sponge and scrubbed at the paint, but nothing happened. 

‘It’s not coming off,’ he muttered, scrubbing even more frantically. ‘It’s not coming off.’ He kept scrubbing it anyway, his scrambled brain unable to think of something else to do.

‘Are you all right, dear?’

Cas jumped, dropping the sponge. ‘Mrs Holden,’ he said, seeing who it was. He looked up at the graffiti, knowing he wouldn’t be able to cover it up.

‘Oh dear,’ she said, seeing the graffiti. ‘That won’t come off easy.’

Cas shook his head miserably.

Mrs Holden rubbed his shoulder. ‘My grandson is what they call transgendered,’ she told him. ‘He has a lot of experience with this kind of thing. I bet he could get this right off.’

‘Really?’ Cas said, wringing his hands.

‘Oh, sure. You get back in there and make some of your delicious food, and I’ll call my grandson.’

‘Thank you,’ Cas said. 

He went inside the bakery, tucking the keys behind the register, and shakily pulling out his phone. 

_ Come by the bakery if you have a minute,  _ he texted Dean.

He tried to go about his regular routine, but kept losing track of where he was.

About an hour passed, and there was a knock on the door. Cas went out and saw a man standing at the door. 

‘You must be Cas,’ he said, reaching out to shake Cas’s hand. ‘I’m Chase.’

‘Nice to meet you,’ Cas said politely.

‘I noticed your graffiti problem. Come on, I’ll show you how to get rid of it.’ He shrugged off his backpack and pulled out a bottle of paint thinner, a spray bottle, and a razor.

‘I’ll leave all this stuff with you, just in case it happens again.’

‘Is that likely?’ Cas said.

Chase just grimaced, filling the spray bottle with paint thinner.

The door opened again, and Dean went straight to Cas, cupping Cas’s face in his hands.

‘I’m all right,’ Cas murmured.

Dean shook his head and enveloped Cas in a hug. 

Cas sighed, his chest loosening at Dean’s presence. ‘This is Chase,’ he told Dean, once he pulled away. ‘He’s helping me get the paint off.’

Dean nodded.

Chase showed Cas how to get the paint to come off, and helped him clean the whole window.

Mrs Holden returned just as they finished, with a box of her own homemade cookies.

‘Thanks, Grandma,’ Chase said, taking one.

‘It’s no trouble at all,’ Mrs Holden smiled. ‘You’re all such good boys.’

‘Thank you, Mrs Holden,’ Cas said. ‘I’ll make you some muffins if you want to come back later.’

‘That sounds wonderful,’ she said. ‘Let’s go, Chase.’ She took Chase by the arm and left with him, waving to Cas through the window on her way past.

Cas sighed heavily once she was gone.

_ {Do you want me to stay?}  _ Dean asked in concern.

‘No, just…’ He leaned into Dean’s chest, seeking comfort. He allowed himself to linger for a moment, then pulled away. ‘You should go to work. I’ll be fine.’

Dean kissed him, before reluctantly leaving the bakery.

Cas pulled himself together and hurried to get some baking done, enlisting Alfie as soon as he arrived. He didn’t mention what had happened to Alfie, but Alfie could tell that something was off.

When he got home that night, he lay on the couch straight away, dozing off until Dean came home with pizza.

It was quiet for a few days, but then Cas was once again confronted with graffiti on his window. This time reading ‘QUEER’. He quickly removed it, but didn’t tell anyone that it had happened, not wanting to give the perpetrator the satisfaction of his distress. Again, Alfie noticed his quiet demeanor that day, but chose not to question it.

He tried not to show it, but Cas walked around a little more warily, fearing that it would happen again. He already felt as though people were staring at him when he walked through town. He had no idea who had or hadn’t seen it, or whether or not they believed it.

The third time it happened though, a couple of days after the second, Cas merely sat on the floor inside the bakery, staring up at the word ‘FAG’ on the window. He twiddled his phone in his hands, then texted Dean,  _ I need you.  _ He didn’t bother baking anything, or opening the bakery, and remained on the floor waiting for Dean. He forgot to tell Alfie not to come, and watched him walk up to the bakery, stop at the window, and his mouth drop open in horror. Alfie saw Cas through the window and banged on the door. 

‘Let me in!’ he shouted.

Cas sighed and climbed to his feet. He unlocked the door and cracked it open. ‘Go home, Alfie,’ he mumbled.

‘Who the hell did this?’ he said furiously.

Cas shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’

‘We should wash it off - no, I’ll wash it off - let me in.’ He made to go through the door, but Cas continued to block him. 

‘Please, Alfie…’

‘Fine, but I’m texting Dean.’

‘I already did.’

Alfie folded his arms. ‘Then I’m staying until he gets here.’

‘Alfie-’

‘I’m coming in.’ Alfie finally pushed past and went straight into the kitchen. ‘Where do you keep all your cleaning stuff?’ he called.

‘Cabinet in the back,’ Cas called back.

‘Why not under the sink like a normal person?’ Alfie grumbled.

Cas didn’t answer, instead just leaning on the counter with his head in his hands, only looking up when Dean came in.

Dean too looked furious, signing too rapidly for Cas to understand.

‘Dean - Dean, slow down.’

Dean took a deep breath, bunching and unbunching his hands a few times, but then he just shook his head. He stepped over to Cas and pulled him close.

‘Why won’t they stop?’ Cas whispered.

Dean kissed Cas on the top of the head, then let go of him.  _ {I’m sorry. If I ever find out who’s doing this} _

_ {I’m tired} _

Dean nodded.  _ {Me and Alfie will clean it up} _

Cas made himself a coffee and watched Dean and Alfie scrubbing at the window. The coffee warmed him up a little, but it didn’t help him feel any less miserable.

‘You should report this,’ Alfie said once they were finished.

‘No,’ Cas said. ‘They’ll get bored eventually.’

‘What, so you’re going to keep letting them writing horrible stuff all over your building?’ Alfie said incredulously. ‘No, that’s not acceptable. Not happening. I’m going down to the station-’

‘No, Alfie, please,’ Cas said, grabbing his arm. ‘It’s fine, really. I don’t want to make a fuss, it’s just spray paint.’

‘But-’

‘I said no.’

Alfie huffed and stormed out of the door.

‘I’m going home,’ Cas said, rubbing his face. ‘You should get to work.’

Dean looked hesitant. 

‘Dean, it’s okay. You love your job. You should go. I’ll just have a quiet day at home, all right?’

Dean smiled, and caressed Cas’s cheek.  _ {I love you} _

_ {I love you too} _

 

Cas spent the rest of the day curled up on the couch with a book and Gracie in his lap. When Dean came home, he was carrying several bags.  _ {I’m making all your favourite things} _

Cas smiled for the first time all day.  _ {You can’t keep doing this, we’ll get fat} _

Dean grinned.  _ {Maybe I’ll save some for another time} _

He made a big bowl of mac and cheese, and sat down on the couch with it.

‘ _ Dean,’  _ Cas laughed as Dean tried to feed it to him.

Dean washed up once they were finished eating, then cuddled Cas on the couch for a while, until Cas’s eyelids began to droop.

‘Come on,’ he murmured. ‘Bedtime.’

Dean lifted him up, eyes sparkling when he made Cas laugh again.

‘Dean, really, what’s gotten into you?’

Dean just shook his head and dropped Cas on the bed in their room.

‘Get my pjs?’ Cas said.

_ {Why do you need them?}  _ Dean grinned slyly.

‘You know I get cold.’

_ {I’ll keep you warm} _

Cas laughed and reached out to him. ‘I bet you will.’

Eventually, he fell asleep, with Dean wrapped around him.

 

Cas awoke in the middle of the night, Dean’s arm still draped over his. He shivered, now wishing he had put on his pajamas, and rolled over, trying to figure out what had woken him. Dean snuffled in his sleep, and Cas rubbed his eyes.

Then, he heard a bang on the door, and sat up. ‘What?’ he mumbled groggily.

Whoever it was banged on the door again, so Cas climbed out of bed and threw on his pajamas. He shuffled to the front door, and picked up Gracie so she wouldn’t run out when he answered the door. He unlocked the door, and squinted at the two people standing outside.

‘Castiel Novak?’ one of them said. It was two police officers.

‘Yes?’ Cas said.

‘Owner of Cas and Charlie’s?’

‘Why?’

The officer closest grimaced. ‘I think you’d better come with us,’ he said.

Cas held Gracie tightly. ‘Dean,’ he called.

Dean came out of the bedroom in a robe. 

‘Put Gracie in the bedroom,’ he said, handing her to him. ‘Get dressed.’

Dean looked from Cas to the officers and back again, but did as Cas said.

Cas just threw his coat on over his pajamas and followed the officers outside. He grabbed Dean’s hand and squeezed. Cas knew where they were going, but he hoped that he was wrong.

It was the longest walk of his life, though he’d walked it every day for years.

They turned the corner and Cas stopped, feeling as though he’d been kicked in the chest, all the air leaving his lungs.

There was police tape across the front of his bakery. The window had been shattered and the door smashed off its hinges. Cas heard Dean inhale sharply behind him, but that was all he heard. He let go of Dean’s hand and walked into the bakery, deaf to the officers’ protests.

It was worse inside. All of the glass counters had been smashed to pieces, the register was broken and lying sadly on the floor, and the coffee machine had been cracked open, leaking all over the counter and the floor. Worst of all was the kitchen.

Cas walked into the kitchen, glass cracking under his feet. Utensils littered the floor, some snapped in half, others bent until they were unusable. The door of the fridge had been thrown open, and all the food in the cabinets, fridge and freezer had been thrown across the room. Sauces and jams painted the walls, their jars smashed on the floor. A thick layer of flour covered every surface. The doors for every single one of the ovens had either been smashed or wrenched off.

Cas surveyed it all, his limbs leadened and numb, and turned back to the entrance.

Dean was standing with the officers, writing frantically on one of their notebooks. He looked up at Cas, an agonised expression on his face, and pressed the notebook back into the officer’s hand. He came over to Cas, holding out his hands. Cas did not take them.

Cas stared into space, dazed. ‘My- my insurance won’t cover this,’ he croaked. ‘I can’t afford to fix this.’

Dean’s mouth opened slightly, but closed again, and Cas walked back out of the front door.

One of the officers passed Dean their card. ‘Have him call us tomorrow,’ he said. Dean nodded and followed Cas out.

‘Let’s go for a drive,’ Cas said flatly.

Dean nodded, pulling his keys from his pocket. He drove them out of town, far from the bright streetlights and noise. Cas sat silently next to him, picking the skin on his lips and bouncing his foot. Eventually, they came to some fields. Everything was still and silent, but for the car.

‘Stop,’ Cas said.

Dean did as he said, bringing the car to a halt beside a gate into the field.

Cas got out and walked into the field. There was a small stand of skinny trees nearby, and Cas walked over to them.    
Dean followed close behind.

Cas reached the trees, and put a hand on the trunk of the nearest one. The rough bark bumped beneath his fingers, and this contact brought him crashing down to earth. A hole opened up inside him, and he fell to his knees under the weight of it.

Dean knelt beside him. ‘Cas,’ he murmured.

Cas shook his head, his chin trembling, then abruptly turned and buried his head in Dean’s shoulder, clinging to the front Dean’s shirt so hard that his knuckles turned white and shook.

Dean pulled him in, and tears welled in his own eyes at the devastated wail that came from Cas. He forced himself to keep it together, rocking Cas gently while he sobbed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to MollysDean, swedish_short_snout, DeanFeathers, 4thgenCrowley, Superpeace, ms_josephine, snips92 and QueenofHearts for the comments!
> 
> That's right, I'm back again with a brand new chapter, and hope to return again soon. See you all next time!
> 
> (p.s. please don't kill me)


	30. Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty

 

Emptiness was all Cas felt as he sat in the police station. He was supposed to be giving his statement, but his jaw clamped shut every time the bakery came into his head. 

The officer sitting across the desk from him sighed, but continued regardless.

‘Please, Mr Novak, we need to get to the bottom of this-’

‘Cas.’

‘What?’

‘“Mr Novak” is what they call my father. My name is Cas,’ Cas said, not really looking at anything.

‘Okay then, Cas, can you tell me why you didn’t report the graffiti problem?’

‘I thought they’d get bored if I didn’t give them a reaction.’

The officer nodded encouragingly. ‘All right, and where were you the night of the incident.’

Cas fixed him with a blank stare.

‘We just have to rule you out,’ the officer said hastily. 

Cas sighed. ‘I was at home, asleep.’

‘Can anyone verify that?’

‘My partner.’

‘Dean Winchester?’

Cas nodded. ‘You’ll need an interpreter if you want to speak to him…’ He zoned out again, and his body stood up of its own accord.

‘Wait, Cas, come back…’

But Cas didn’t hear him. He walked out of the station and all the way through town, though giving the bakery a wide berth.

The apartment was quiet. Even Gracie had been subdued, and she sat on the counter watching Cas lock the door.

Cas sighed again and sat down on the couch, switching on the TV. He didn’t pay attention to what was on; it’s only purpose to fill the silence in the room while Cas stared at the ceiling.

And so it was the same for weeks. Dean came and went, always trying to cheer Cas up but never succeeding, and Cas sitting in the same spot, either staring at the ceiling or at the words he couldn’t seem to absorb in his books. He only ever left the house for food, or to walk Gracie when she got restless.

One day, Dean came in and crouched next to him by the couch. He gazed at Cas, his eyes sad, and gently ran his fingers through Cas’s greasy hair. Then Cas realised that Sam was there too. ‘Hello, Sam,’ he said, his voice cracking from lack of use.

‘Hey, Cas,’ Sam said quietly. ‘I’ve got some good news for you.’

Cas tried to look interested, but was not entirely successful.

‘They found the guys that did it. The building across the street had some security footage. It took a while but they identified the guys. Dean was right, it was the guys from his old job.’ He glanced at Dean nervously and continued. ‘They’ve been arrested for destruction of property, and they’re going to go for a tougher sentence. They got caught on camera spray painting your building too, so they’re classing it as a hate crime.’

Cas nodded, barely registering what Sam had said.

Sam glanced at Dean again, biting his lip. ‘All right, well, I guess I’ll see you guys later.’ Sam left them, giving Cas one last pitying look.

Dean grimaced and sat next to Cas on the couch.  _ {I hate seeing you like this}  _ he signed sadly.

‘Sorry,’ Cas whispered.

‘No,’ Dean murmured back. ‘Never.’

Cas shivered at the sound of his voice, as he always did, and lay himself down in Dean’s lap. ‘I don’t know what to do now,’ he admitted. ‘It was my life.’

Dean squeezed his arm tightly, and let him fall asleep there.

 

Eventually, Cas attempted to occupy himself instead of staring at the ceiling all day. He walked around town, though still avoiding the bakery. He went to the aquarium a few times, considering whether or not to buy another fish for his tank, but none of it was any use. He realised just how small the town was, and how boring. With nothing to distract him, he ended up back at the apartment, sitting on the couch. He bought more books, and got better and paying attention to them. It helped that Dean beamed at him whenever he was doing something other than sitting, so he did what he could.

Dean hurried in and out most days, only stopping for a quick kiss or a snack before dashing back out of the door. 

Soon, Cas grew suspicious. ‘What are you up to?’ he asked Dean one day, before he could leave.

_ {Nothing}  _ Dean signed, his mouth full of food.  _ {Work} _

‘Work?’

_ {It’s busy} _

‘Right.’

 

The cycle continued: Cas trying to occupy himself, failing, and ending up right back on the couch, staring, until Dean approached him nervously one afternoon.

‘What?’

_ {I have to show you something. You should clean up first} _

Cas looked down at himself, still in his pajamas and not having showered yet that day. ‘All right.’ He pushed himself up and ran himself through the shower, scrubbing himself clean. He looked at himself in the mirror for the first time in weeks, and decided to keep the beard he had grown.

_ {I thought you could wear these}  _ Dean signed when Cas came into the bedroom. He’d laid some clothes out, and Cas recognised the dark blue sweater.

_ {These are from our first date}  _ Cas signed, confused.

Dean nodded.

Cas looked him up and down. He too had put on nicer clothes than usual.

_ {What’s going on?} _

_ {It’s a surprise} _

Cas pulled on the clothes, watching Dean, but his face gave nothing away.

_ {Are you keeping this?}  _ Dean asked, softly stroking Cas’s beard.

‘I like it,’ Cas said defensively.

_ {Me too}  _ Dean smiled.  _ {Let’s go} _

Cas followed Dean out to the car, and Dean passed him a blindfold once they were sat down.

‘Really?’ Cas said.

_ {Yes. Put it on. I’ll know if you’re peeking} _

Cas rolled his eyes, but put on the blindfold. He couldn’t talk with Dean with the blindfold on, but Dean’s hand rested on his knee the entire time they were driving. Cas tried to guess where they were going, but Dean turned so many times, he lost track of where they were. They drove for about ten minutes before Dean parked the car, and helped Cas out of the passenger side. Cas wanted to ask where they were, but knew Dean couldn’t say as long as he had on the blindfold, so he was forced to wait until they arrived at wherever Dean was taking him.

He heard Dean open a door, and Dean guided him inside.

‘Dean, what is this?’ Cas said impatiently.

Dean tutted behind him.

‘Sorry.’

Dean stopped and stood Cas still, then whispered, his lips brushing Cas’s ear. ‘Are you ready?’

Cas nodded, and Dean untied the blindfold, his hands shaking slightly. The blindfold fell away, and before his eyes could adjust, his ears were accosted by a chorus of ‘SURPRISE!’ He jumped and stumbled, standing on Dean’s foot, who was still behind him. He recognised his surroundings and his heart jumped to his throat. ‘What the-?’ he spun around to take it all in. ‘What? You tricked me!’

Dean had brought him to the bakery, but it was fully repaired. All the glass counters and the window had been replaced. The register was sitting back in its usual spot, as was the coffee machine, and everything had been polished until it gleamed.

Charlie, who had shouted the loudest, beamed at him, and stood around with Gabriel, Alfie and Sam.

‘What?’ Cas repeated dazedly. He put a hand to his forehead, scarcely daring to believe his eyes. ‘This is a dream,’ he said finally. ‘This is definitely a dream.’

‘It’s not a dream, doofus,’ Charlie said. ‘We cleaned the place up for you.’

‘But- but how? I couldn’t afford this; none of you could afford it.’

‘But I can.’

Cas turned to see who spoke, and stood on Dean’s foot again.

‘Really, the dramatic reveal, Mom?’ said Gabriel.

Emily had come out of the kitchen and stood in the doorway.

‘I don’t understand,’ Cas said, moving towards her, but gripping Dean’s hand tightly.

Emily sighed and met him half way. ‘I know it doesn’t make up for everything I did to you, but I’m hoping that it’s a start.’

Cas stared at her, but saw that she was sincere - nervous even. He let go of Dean and embraced his mother for the first time in years. He felt her gasp and grip him tightly. ‘Thank you, Mom,’ he mumbled, tears springing to his eyes. ‘I can’t believe you did this,’ he sniffed, pulling away. ‘How did you know?’

‘Dean texted me,’ she said, wiping her eyes.

‘He texted all of us, actually,’ Charlie said.

Cas turned back to Dean. 

_ {Are you mad?}  _ Dean asked anxiously.

Cas shook his head and took hold of both of Dean’s hands. ‘Thank you,’ he said. He leaned in and kissed Dean, hoping to impart reassurance. Cas let go, and Dean blushed, glancing at Emily over his head.

‘I have a present for you,’ Alfie said, interrupting. He passed Cas several pieces of paper. ‘These are mug shots of the guys who smashed up the place. I thought we could hang them right over there.’ He pointed at the wall opposite the front door and Cas laughed. 

Charlie danced from one foot to the other, impatient. ‘Come on, Cas, check out the kitchen.’ She yanked him by the arm.

Cas gaped at it. The kitchen had also been completely scrubbed down. All the ovens had been replaced with shiny new ones, and new utensils hung from the walls.

‘We went shopping for you,’ Alfie said, coming in behind him and opening all the cabinets. They had all been filled, and so had the refrigerator.

‘The grand reopening is in two days,’ Charlie said. ‘Plenty of time to prepare.’

Cas wandered around the kitchen, running his hands along the surfaces, and going through his mental checklist as he examined the ingredients.

‘Well?’ Charlie said. ‘Did we get it all?’

Cas smiled widely. ‘Yes, you did. It’s all ready to go.’

Charlie clapped her hands together excitedly.

Life began to return to Cas, small and flickering, but excited once more, as he again looked through all the ingredients.

Eventually, he tore himself away and rejoined everyone at the front of the shop.

_ {You look better}  _ Dean signed when Cas came back in.

_ {I feel better} _

_ {That’s great} _

_ {Thank you, Dean} _

Dean looked down bashfully.  _ {I love when you use my name} _

Cas laughed.  _ {Maybe I should use it more often} _

Dean laughed as well, then looked around at everyone gathered in the room. His expression changed as he bit his lip.

_ {What is it?}  _ Cas asked.

_ {There’s something else}  _ Dean’s eyes flicked up to Charlie briefly, and Cas turned to face her, confused.

‘What?’ she said, surprised by them both staring at her.

Dean signed something while Cas wasn’t looking.

‘Really? Now?’ Charlie said, eyes widening.

‘What?’ He turned back to Dean, who nodded. ‘You’re scaring me.’

_ {Don’t be scared}  _ Dean said. He pulled several pieces of paper out of his pocket, and handed them to everyone around the room. He stopped in front of Emily with the last piece of paper and hesitated, but then gave it to her.

‘Dean…?’ Cas said warily. ‘What is this?’

_ {I want them all to know what I’m about to say to you} _

Cas watched everyone around the room reading their paper. Charlie looked close to tears, Sam and Alfie both had similar, ecstatic expressions, and Emily gasped loudly.

‘Dean-’

_ {Just look at me} _

Cas tore his eyes away from everyone and their paper to watch Dean.

Dean took a deep breath and raised his hands, signing carefully so Cas wouldn’t miss anything.

_ {Cas, you’ve made me happier than I thought was possible}  _ Dean began.  _ {You made me better. You made my life easier} _

‘Dean-’

_ {Please let me finish} _

Cas nodded.

_ {You’re beautiful, inside and out. The way you find comfort in the simplest things is inspiring. Watching you bake is amazing. You changed me the moment we met, and there’s nothing I want more than to do the same for you. I want to make you as happy as you made me}  _ He stopped for a minute to steady his breathing, then,  _ {I love you more than anything, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you} _

Cas’s breath stuck in his throat, his whole body frozen on the spot.

Dean pulled a small, velvet box from the pocket on the inside of his jacket, and slowly got on one knee. ‘Castiel Novak, will you marry me?’ he said out loud for everyone to hear.

Cas didn’t move, stunned.

Dean wobbled on his knee, looking at Cas nervously.

Everyone was silent, waiting with bated breath for Cas’s answer.

Eventually, Sam broke the silence, clearing his throat awkwardly. ‘Cas, I think you’re supposed to say something.’

Cas snapped out of it and held his hands out to Dean, still kneeling. ‘Yes,’ he breathed. ‘ _ Yes.’ _

Dean let out the breath he had been holding, and smiled, relieved. He climbed to his feet, taking Cas’s hands, and slid the ring onto his finger. Everyone around them cheered excitedly.

Cas looked down at it the ring: a simple, silver band that shone in the sunlight streaming through the windows. ‘Wait,’ he frowned, ‘I’ve seen this before.’ He thought hard, then,  _ ‘Charlie!’ _

‘It was me, I helped!’ Charlie laughed, pulling them both into a hug.

Dean laughed, hugging her tightly. ‘Thank you,’ he whispered in her ear.

Her mouth dropped open. ‘Dean!’ she exclaimed.

Cas looked over at Emily. Tears were streaming down her face, and she was holding the piece of paper Dean had given her close to her chest. Cas took a step towards her, but to his surprise, Dean went first.

‘May I keep this, Dean?’ Emily asked, holding up the paper. ‘I’d like to have it framed.’

Dean nodded. 

‘I’m not sure Dad would appreciate that,’ Cas said.

Emily waved her hand. ‘Don’t you worry about him. We’re getting divorced, and trust me, he’ll settle with me, or I’ll tell everyone at the country club what he did to his own son. Homophobia isn’t “cool” anymore.’

‘Mom, you’ve been learning new words,’ Gabriel said in mock disbelief. 

‘ _ Anyway,’  _ Emily said. She carefully folded up the paper and put it in her pocket, then took hold of Dean’s hands. ‘Maybe I don’t deserve it, but I would be honoured to call you “son”.’

Dean opened and closed his mouth a few times. He knew Emily couldn’t sign, but he didn’t have any words left in him.

‘What do you want to say, Dean?’ Cas said gently, coming to stand next to him.

Dean looked relieved and signed to Cas.

‘He says that he’s glad you feel better about us now, and he’s proud of how much you’ve learned,’ Cas relayed. ‘I am too.’

Emily started crying again, and she wiped away her tears impatiently. ‘And I’m paying for the wedding - no arguments,’ she added, seeing Cas open his mouth. ‘It’s the least I can do. Besides, what better way to use your father’s money than on your wedding.’

Dean hugged her too.

‘All right, that’s enough of that,’ Gabriel said. ‘I’m happy for you both, but this is a celebration.’ He went into the kitchen, and came back with an box full of champagne bottles. He dumped it on the counter, and pulled glasses out from underneath the counter. ‘I got these for your reopening, but we could definitely use them more now.’

‘Where were you even hiding those?’ Cas asked incredulously.

Gabriel merely winked at him. He poured everyone a drink and passed them around. ‘To Cas and Dean!’ he said once everyone had a drink.

‘To Cas and Dean!’ everyone repeated. They all stood around the bakery, chatting happily, and Cas leaned against the counter, content.

_ {Don’t lean on that}  _ Dean chastised.  _ {It’s brand new} _

Cas laughed and moved away from it.

Dean kissed him, then slipped his own ring out of his pocket and onto his finger.

‘It’s beautiful,’ Cas whispered, admiring his as well as Dean’s.

_ {I can’t believe you made me wait that long}  _ Dean signed, chuckling.  _ {I think that’s longest I’ve ever been on my knees} _

Cas waited until Dean was taking a sip of his drink and said, ‘I think we both know that’s not true.’ It had the desired effect of Dean choking on his drink, and turning red. Cas laughed at him as he wiped his face.

‘Oh, crap!’ Charlie suddenly exclaimed, clapping a hand to her forehead. ‘I almost forgot! Cas, come here.’ She grabbed Cas’s hand and dragged him outside. She faced him towards the bakery and pointed above the door. ‘I had that made.’

The sign that had previously read  _ Cas and Charlie’s,  _ now only said  _ Castiel’s.  _

‘Charlie…’ 

‘I took care of all the paperwork too, so the place is officially all yours.’

Cas rested his head on Charlie’s shoulder. ‘What would I do without you?’

‘I’m so happy for you,’ Charlie said. ‘I like the beard.’

‘Thank you.’

They watched everyone inside the bakery for a while. They appeared to be teaching Emily and Gabriel to sign.

‘Tomorrow’s going to be a long day,’ Cas said to Charlie. ‘You in?’

‘Oh, absolutely,’ she said, grinning wickedly.

Cas looked back up at the new sign, his stomach squirming in excitement. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to Superpeace, bookworm4ever81, Nama28, QueenofHearts, ms_josephine, liesje_86, swedish_short_snout and snips92 for all the awesome comments!
> 
> Well guys, we finally did it. One year and thirty chapters later, here we are. I hope you all enjoyed it and I'll see you all next time.
> 
> Edit: I've definitely worded this a/n wrong. Don't worry, it's not over yet. We've still got a wedding to folks!


End file.
